Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Precious Water
What do you do when there’s no water?
It was a very fine cold (relatively speaking, of course, because the temperature rarely gets below about 70 degrees) Tuesday morning at Cebu Children of Hope School. Everyone was ready for their classes. Later during our first morning class, one of the Level B2 students asked to go to the bathroom. I said, “Can you wait until 9:25 at snack time?” The student replied, “Yes teacher.” So at 9:25 everyone left to use the bathroom and wash their hands before heading to the snack room. Unfortunately, when they turned on the faucets, there wasn’t any water because one of the float switches wasn’t working.
Instead of getting upset, the kids found other ways to wash their hands so they could eat their snacks. Thankfully we didn’t have to wait very long for the water problem to be fixed.
Let's Eat!
Food is made up of nutrients that are very essential for our bodies. It is good to teach kids the importance of eating nutritious foods.
Every July is Nutrition Month for all schools in the Philippines. On July 28 we had our culminating program for Nutrition Month. Lots of activities were prepared and the kids were very excited. There were coloring activities, preparing and cooking food and classifying pictures of different foods. The kids enjoyed the coloring activities. They also liked being involved in preparing and cooking food. The kids were divided into groups and each group was assigned a food to prepare and cook. The different groups made garlic bread, chicken nuggets, fruit cocktail and calamansi juice.
During the classifying foods activity, the groups cut out pictures of different foods and classified them into three categories: Go, Grow and Glow foods. Then they glued the pictures on a poster explained their work.
One of the students who was reporting for his group kept practicing his lines and asked, “Teacher, sakto ba ko? (Teacher, am I right?) Go foods give us energy, Grow foods give us protein and Glow foods give us vitamins and minerals.” I answered him with a nod of my head and a thumbs up.
At the end of the program, the kids enjoyed eating the food they had prepared and cooked. Yum!
Kids helping kids
It is always fun when kids reach out to help other kids who are in need. And it is especially gratifying when in involved kids who were adopted from CSC but want to help those who are left behind. There is power in their prayers and so much love in their giving!
Recently we heard from a family that adopted some of our kids last year. Their oldest son announced that he wants to raise funds to buy hearing aids for his best friend who still lives at CSC. He hasn't forgotten his buddy and his special needs! I don't know if those who are reading this blog can know just how good that makes us feel here in Cebu. This boy has not forgotten where he came from or the needs of his friends who are still waiting for adoption. It is a testament not only to his big heart, but to his parents who have kept kept the ministry in front of him and encouraged him to think beyond his own needs and desires. It warms my heart and brings a tear to my eye.
Memorial Gifts
I have always appreciated the memorial gifts that come in to CSC. It is a real honor for us when families designate CSC as the recipient of memorials given at the funeral or memorial service. It is humbling to receive those gifts, and challenging to use them in a way that honors the life of the deceased, and his or her love for our ministry.
Recently I have seen this whole thing from another perspective - from the side of the family designating the memorials for CSC. My dad, Jer, passed in June, and it was his desire that any memorial gifts go to CSC. I know some families have disagreements over such decisions. For us it was easy. Jer loved CSC. Up to his dying day he was proud of the ministry and talked it up with people he would meet or who would visit him. He visited Cebu several times, served on our Board and volunteered as our banquet emcee and narrator on many of our media presentations He and my mom have always been generous supporters of CSC. In the early days of the ministry, when supporters were hard to come by, Jer's colleagues at Bethel College rallied around us out of respect for him. They knew how much he believed in the ministry of CSC. And Jer sacrificed a lot for my decision to leave home to serve on the other side of the world, not having me or my family around much for the past 37 years.
I can tell you that, as a family, we appreciated being able to honor Jer by designating his memorial gifts to a ministry that he and so many people loved. Many of those who gave memorials are regular CSC supporters. Some have visited Cebu. It was a natural thing to do for us. And I believe that the same can be said for lots of families. We can honor the deceased with the gift of life for the childen in Cebu.
Thanks to all who give memorial gifts for friends of CSC.
Exploring the World Through Reading
Reading is the complex cognitive process of decoding symbols in order to construct or derive meaning. Through reading, you expose yourself to new things, new information, new ways to solve problems, and new ways to achieve things. Who knows – you might find a new hobby. Who knows – you might explore something you really like and it may end up becoming your career. Exploration begins with reading and understanding. Reading exposes you to a world of imagination, showing you nothing is impossible. By reading, you can explore different ways to look at things and how different actions lead to different results. Books expand your imagination. It’s like a huge spider web, where you link together things you know. You also learn new things creating new solutions and answers.
Last week we had our Reading Challenge Kick-off, a six week reading contest, at Children of Hope School. During this activity we encouraged the students to become broader readers and to appreciate how wonderful and amazing books are.
What struck me the most during the kick-off was the excitement on the faces of the students. Everybody wanted “in.” No complaining here. Instead the kids said, “Teacher, when can we check out books?” “I will not play anymore, instead I’ll keep on reading to earn points.” “I want to earn the highest points!” “I want to read as many books as I can.” These words amazed me because our children were really motivated to read.
Read, read, and read more to learn and explore the world around you. Reading is fun!