In this season marked by gift giving and receiving, I've been reflecting about a significant gift that I received earlier this year. In July, I travelled to the Philippines and had the opportunity to spend 6 days visiting CSC.
While I've had connections to CSC for almost 15 years, this was my first actual trip there – not for lack of desire to have made the trip earlier, but working within the realities of parenting and being an at-home mom with our 4 young kids. Being there was, of course, amazing, and a true gift. The life-giving ministry that takes place there came alive for me in a whole new way. I don't want to lose that deepened sense of connectedness that I brought back to Minnesota with me, and as part of that desire to hold onto connection I recently revisited some of the journaling that I'd done during my week at CSC. I'd like to share a few excerpts from my journal with you – in hopes that you also will feel a rekindled sense of connectedness to the truly life-altering work that takes place every day, hour by hour and minute by minute at CSC.
From our first day at the shelter – Wednesday, July 19th
It is emotional to be here with the kids! To see little babies who don't belong to anyone-yet here belong to everyone, sweet toddlers who remind me of Berit (our 2 year old daughter) who have already lost someone for a lifetime, preschoolers coming close or slipping in a hand to be held who don't know what it's like to be someone's child, busy elementary schoolers curiously and boldly saying hello – their life stories already so complicated, and tall, growing-up pre-teens who act like they are at camp, yet don't have family to return home to. I've gotten lots of tears welling up in my eyes – for the kids, when seeing Paul being tender and familiar with kids of all ages, and in thinking about life and all of its complexity. So thankful to be here, and so aware that life can be hard.
From Thursday, July 20th
I've seen lots of poverty today while driving, especially on the city tour with Marlys. It's so surreal to drive by it and then to be done with it, while it is remains someone's total life and story. I like to imagine that all of the kids I see who are way too close to the moving cars in the street have a parent close by, or that they are just going for a walk, but I know that isn't true. Especially aware today of CSC as a SHELTER.
From Tuesday, July 25th
CSC is impressive. The physical campus, the stories behind the campus coming to be, the contrast for the kids between what was and what is – as well as new potential for what might be, the many aunties and uncles, the holistic set up that addresses so many important parts of each child's experience, the team of leaders that is both forward thinking and evaluative... and of course the kids themselves. I'm struck today by the RESILIENCY of the kids. Each child here carries with them a heavy, heart-breaking story, but they keep going.
While on the airplane as I journeyed home, as part of my processing of the days at CSC, I made two lists in my journal. One of the lists was titled "Hard Things", and the other was titled "Joyful Things". I'll share a few of the items that were part of each list.
Hard Things – Hearing kids who had been matched for adoption talk about where they would be going when they joined their new families (Australia, Tennessee, Italy), knowing that other kids listening had no adoption plan. Seeing endearing, funny, smart and talented older kids who don't have much time left until their adoption window closes – knowing that their amazing personalities could never be captured on paper and that their age would likely be what would speak loudest to potential adoptive families. Wondering if the CSC kids were wondering if I was "sizing them up" and considering the possibility of adding them to our family, and even choosing what to say about themselves based on that. Thinking about how quickly childhood passes, and "biding time" while waiting for a family. Hearing babies cry and seeing toddlers sitting in highchairs... even when being carefully tended to by aunties, as Paul would say, "It's not the same as being in a family."
Joyful Things – Bright smiles and sparkling brown eyes. Hearing the house parents lead the kids in devotions before breakfast and after dinner. Listening to the kids sing songs of worship – the sound of their voices floating out from the homes and through the campus. Seeing the kids smartly dressed in their matching school uniforms and getting to walk with them up the hill to school. Visiting Jacob and Ginda's rooms, specially created for them, and seeing how CSC is absolutely committed to them as valued family members. Getting to pray a prayer of thanks and blessing with the overnight workers one night as they started their shift. Being surrounded by a group of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls who just wanted to hang out and talk. Genuinely feeling that there are capable, thoughtful leaders in place. Seeing the employees call out, hug and playfully tease the kids. Sensing real openness from the staff to work together for the children.
Those are some excerpts from my CSC experience. It was truly such a gift to be able to spend those 6 days in July immersed in the daily life of CSC. I'm grateful in a deeper, broader way for this ministry as I'm reminded of both hard and joyful parts of CSC. As a CSC board member, I am especially thankful for the community that supports CSC. To know that children's lives are being changed each day is truly amazing and inspiring, and I'm so thankful for all of you who make that possible!
Progress is...
prog·ress
part of speech: noun
pronunciation: ˈpräɡres/
1. Forward or onward movement toward a destination.
2. The advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition
part of speech: verb
pronunciation: prəˈɡres/
1. To move forward or onward in space or time.
2. To advance or develop toward a better, more complete, or more modern state.
It is almost summer where you are, so bare with me on this journey through Webster's pages and this highly intellectual post! ;) Progress, the noun, is a thing most of us look for to determine the success or failure of an effort. It a measure of change, advancement, improvement---pounds lost, degrees earned, etc., toward a goal. It is something we want to see.
Progress, the verb, is the effort. It is the actual forward motion. It encompasses the sweat and tears involved in bettering oneself, finishing a degree, running another mile. Or as it says above, becoming more complete. It is a process requiring hard work.
Sometimes progress, the noun, is hard to chart or to see. The work is there, but it seems there is little to show for it. Thankfully, at CSC, this is not true.
Below you will see only a smidgen of the countless proofs of progress at CSC, in a series of before and after pictures. Children arrive to CSC usually in a bad state. They are often not healthy. They stay in our Infirmary for as long as it takes to rid their bodies of lice, worms or other illnesses. The evidence of physical progression alone is cause for rejoicing in God's goodness to improve the lives of CSC's children. However, their progress is much more than physical.
If you look at many of the faces in the before pictures, their is understandable fear and uncertainty registering there. Strangers are visiting them and talking about taking them from their home. Of course it is for their betterment, their progress, their health, but that is hard to fully communicate in such emotional times. But look at the faces in the after pictures. There is peace, happiness, and excitement.
Some synonyms for progress: make headway, get better, gain ground, improve, advance, develop, and make strides. For our youngest residents, they literally learn to walk and then run while in our care. Now that's progress!
Some other synonyms for progress: thrive, prosper, blossom, and flourish.
And that is what kids do at CSC. There are many hands working tirelessly for the advancement of these precious children. From nurses, teachers, therapists, social workers, counselors, houseparents, guards, missionary staff and childcare workers. Their effort contributes to the progress of the children. I don't want to leave out the effort put forth by our children though, because that is very real too. They take the risk to trust, and follow our instruction and learn to be a kid again. And finally, the investments made by you donors is effort, it's forward motion. Your effort can also be seen in the smiling faces above.
To me, this is what progress looks like.
Visitors and Guests
After being in Cebu for a little over four months, I have
realized we welcome lots of people. Some people include the many
visitors and supporters of CSC.
Over five years ago, I was
welcomed to CSC in a very different context. I came with the Central
Baptist Church work team. I was embraced by not only the staff members
here, but also the kids. I remember stepping out of that van for the
first time and being rushed by about 50 smiling and laughing children.
Four
months ago, Peter and I were welcomed in a much quieter setting. Joel
greeted us at the airport and we then had a quiet lunch with the staff. After packing up all of our belongings, saying our sweet and
lengthy good-byes to family and friends, and traveling for over 24 hours,
I needed a tranquil welcome. I'm thankful for the low-key greeting we
received.
As I think of the many people I've met since
December who have visited CSC, I can somehow relate to a piece of their
experience. Here they are, for maybe the first time, or the first time
in many years, stepping foot onto the campus, seeing the grounds and the
people and the kids for real, and taking it all in. When I came the
first time, it was all so overwhelming and fun and awe-inspiring. It was
also emotional as I thought about and processed the lives of the kids:
where they lived, what their lives were like before CSC, how hard so
many people work to take care of them, and how they are resilient in
incredible ways. I know visitors and guests don't all experience CSC in
the same way, but I know people leave impacted by what they saw and
experienced. I imagine many leave with a lot to process and
digest. It's enlightening for me to reflect back on my time from a few
years ago and think about where I've been and how I've changed in light
of my experiences.
Soon we will welcome a young lady who
will work with us for about 10 days. It will be exciting to have her
here and hear her perspective on her time and experience at CSC. I hope she,
and other visitors, have a vivid and meaningful understanding of the
work God is doing through so many people and how he is touching so many
lives through this ministry.
Banquet-season Reflections
I think the CSC banquet is always going to prompt a time of reflection for me, at least since attending in 2014. Last year wasn’t my first time there, but it has changed everything.
One year ago my wife Megan and I sat at the CSC banquet pleased to be donors and planning to ask Matt Buley out for coffee to see if there were any other ways we could help; we were picturing something like stuffing envelopes.
This year we watched the CSC banquet from the Children of Hope School library in Cebu through a live feed. We’ve been here 4 months. We did get to stuff some envelopes, but we also ended up moving to Cebu.
Looking back, I’m not really sure how it happened. I had a good job that I enjoyed and Megan was just completing grad school, we weren’t really looking to move to the other side of the world. As best as I can figure, God just had a different plan and it kept getting clearer to us that we needed to listen. We had this growing feeling that God had taken the reins and we were now along for the ride.
I know I’m in God’s hands whether I’m in St. Paul or Cebu City, but it’s felt a little different since the banquet last year. My hunch is that this is a normal feeling around CSC. This ministry has been relying on God to sustain it since Marlys Healy came in 1978. I’m just one of the latest people to get wrapped up in what God is doing here. Through CSC, God is generously providing opportunities for all of us to labor, laugh, donate, and share in the work He is doing in the world. It was hilarious to see the video of Paul and Matt looking for Jared Gustafson and a special treat to see the tribute video about Sandy’s work at CSC, then to look over and see her sitting a few feet away smiling (appreciative, but not particularly thrilled about all the fuss being made over her). I loved watching Pastor Gustafson mark off the banquet attenders on his fingers who were going to donate an extra $100 just so we could set a new donation record.
Thank you for being engaged in this work too! I wonder where the next year will take us!
Stepping In
This year’s theme of our annual banquet was FRIENDS and this rang true for the entire event. What an amazing group of friends we have at CSC. Almost 800 of our close friends came together to pray for, celebrate and financially support the ministry. We watched videos, heard from former residents, recognized adoptive parents and rejoiced with updates and happy news.
We also shared about the Foster Friend program and offered the chance to sign-up that night. We had many banquet attendees who joined the program that evening. One donor walked up to me and handed me a foster friend sign-up card. She wanted to support one of our children, Shelanie. I got the chance to share with her about this little bubble of energy named Shelanie and what a joy she is to everyone at the shelter. I asked this new donor how she was connected to CSC. She explained that just a few months ago, her dear friend died. It turns out her friend was a dedicated foster friend and long-time supporter of CSC. With tears in her eyes, she said “I realized with her gone, someone needed to step in to fill her role. So I want to do that.”
We are so thankful for everyone who steps in to help Shelanie and the other children at CSC.
Change
This little boy came to CSC in 2011. He was not healthy, he was scared.
I worked with him not knowing how to start. He showed a lot of concerns in so many areas.
With the everyday schedule we have for therapy, he and I formed a bond.
If you have been to CSC, you know that it is hard not to have a favorite, but this little guy captured my heart.
Last year, Joel and I went to the States for a one year furlough. It was hard to leave the kids behind, especially the ones I had been working with everyday for 6 years. When we came back to CSC, I was amazed with the many positive changes the kids showed. One especially was this little dude.
He continues to receive therapy at present and is very eager to come to his sessions. Just the other day, he kept on bugging an auntie that he needed to go and see me for therapy. It was in fact not his scheduled time, but what do you do with an eager child? Yes, we did our therapy and we had a great time cutting playdoh!
Now, every time he sees me, wherever he is – at school or at the shelter, whatever he is doing, he calls and shouts out my name, “Teacher Jinkee!!” That, for me, is the most rewarding part of my job.