Imagine what it would be like to wake up knowing today is the last day you will see your child. I wonder how carefully you would choose their clothes or the last words to share with them. I wonder how hollow it would feel to stand on the sidewalk as they are driven away.
Imagine returning home without your children in tow. They were with you when you walked out of the neighborhood, but now you walk alone. Your world is upended. You’ve lost the title “mom” or “dad.” To make matters worse everyone is watching you from their front step or window. Secrets don’t keep long where you live—especially secrets like this.
People know what you’ve done and they don’t restrain themselves from staring. This is a lonely walk back to an empty home.
You can’t believe it got to this point. How could it? You didn’t have children to abandon them. But then he left, and there were no jobs to be found. The life you dreamed of isn’t visible anymore, and you don’t have anywhere to turn. Somehow the best option became giving them away.
Sometimes when I’m speaking to a group a person will ask how our kids end up in the care of the Children's Shelter of Cebu. I’ll confess that for most of the children a parent is still alive. “How could their parents just abandon them,” they wonder. It’s hard to explain. In our good-Christian mentality, you just don’t ever give up on your kids.
It’s hard to describe the straight jacket that is total poverty and utter hopelessness. It’s hard to explain not being able to protect or provide for your child. I can’t pretend to understand, but I know it’s easier to demonize the mom who couldn’t care for her baby than to put myself in her shoes. She doesn’t deserve to be understood because of what she’s done. Right?
I don’t know. High horses are easy to climb on when you’re propped up in a world of options. Judgment comes easy on this, but judgment has always been easier than understanding, including when a mom concludes her child is better off without her. Judgment isn't our job at CSC. Our job is to love that child the best we can. It's the least we can do for those moms whose seperation is not the mark of selfishness, but of sacrifice.
Boomerang
boo·mer·ang
/ˈbo͞oməˌraNG/
noun
- 1. a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower, traditionally used by Australian Aborigines as a hunting weapon
verb
- 1. (of a plan or action) return to the originator
Over the last few years, former CSC children have been returning for visits with increasing frequency. Some families have brought their children back to the country of their birth, and to see one of their first homes, for a heritage tour. Other children---actually young adults now---have made the journey on their own, for a more independent experience.
One former child, who was the youngest ever to leave for adoption (at age 9 months) requested to celebrate his 10th birthday with the kids of CSC; it was his birthday wish! Another young lady, who was adopted as a toddler, was here this past October. She is now a senior in college, studying Early Childhood Development, and wanted to return to CSC to see firsthand how the children of CSC are cared for and loved on, since she was one of them too! Last month, CSC was happy to have one of its very first children return for her 3rd visit back to CSC; this time she and her husband were excited to show their little girl where her mom came from. And most recently, about 2 days ago, CSC welcomed back a young boy who left as a toddler exactly 4 years ago. His family brought him back to once again play on the playground with some of the same kids he used to play with (though he made plenty of new friends too!) and to spend time with his former houseparents.
For each returning child, their story is of course uniquely theirs. They all have different circumstances that bring them to CSC and they all have different life experiences once they leave CSC. However, there is a pull, like that of a boomerang, for many kids to return to CSC. To see a place that they might only have pictures of but for which they have no vivid memories. They want to see first-hand former caregivers that put band-aids on their skinned knee, read stories to them or rocked them to sleep at night.
CSC is happy to welcome back former kids because really, once you are in the CSC family, you are always in the CSC family!
KCC
Kurume Christ Church, hence KCC, is a church in the city of Higashi Kurume in the greater Tokyo area in Japan. KCC is significant for a number of reasons, but one reason is that it is the only church in Asia that supports CSC on an on-going basis. Kurume Christ Church became aware of CSC many years ago through the friendship of Paul and Shari Reasoner and Taizo and Kimiko Morimoto. Taizo is the pastor of Kurume Christ Church. Pastor Morimoto wanted his church members to broaden their experience of helping people in need, so he suggested a team of people go to Cebu to see the shelter. Since that initial trip, a number of people who attend KCC have visited and volunteered at the shelter. A nurse came to help the nurses at the shelter, t-shirts were given to all of the workers and children at the shelter, a high school student volunteered in the medical department to enhance her pursuit of a career in medicine, and the church sponsors CSC children through the Foster Friends program. So KCC has been creative in its involvment with CSC.
Next week the Reasoner clan in Cebu (Joel, Jinkee, Ethan, Shari and Paul) is heading up to Japan to visit friends, family, Morimotos, and KCC. It will be great to update and thank the church people in person for their continued support of the shelter.
We're baack!
We are back in Cebu safe and sound. It has been a joy to see the kids and staff and re-learn how to navigate here. Lots of changes, but the ministry remains the same. Thanks to all who prayed for us and gave encouragement during our extended furlough.
How Does My Hair Look?
“How does my hair look? Does it look cool?” As I turn around, I see hair standing straight up, styled with gel, and filled will many different colors. Underneath it all, there is a young boy’s smile staring up at me. Many of the boys at the shelter enjoy styling their hair (sometimes even more than the girls do!). It has been fun to see all the “cool” hairstyles at the shelter. Even more than the hairstyles, the smiles on each face are priceless. Enjoy these pictures of some of the coolest hairstyles here at CSC!
Coloring and styling each other's hair
Purple hair!
That hair stands up so tall!
Look at those orange streaks!
The Dream Class
The school days after Sports Fest have been filled with preparation for third quarter tests. Teachers are busy preparing for the exams and pupils are busy studying their previous lessons.
During one review session, one pupil told me, “Teacher, I am so excited to know who will get the highest score on our exams in all the subjects and, hopefully, it will be me.”
I smiled and told her, “Oh, that’s good. Maybe you will get the highest score or maybe one of your classmates will get the highest score. All of you have a great chance of getting the highest score if you listen to the teachers during the review and study hard.”
This conversation
happened in Level A-1 (kindergarten). The Level A-1 pupils are very amazing. We call them “the dream class.” These eight little girls follow instructions,
listen attentively, and they are adorable. It’s stress-free teaching. They’ll do a great job on their quarter
tests!