Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Partial Banquet Review
We watched the Banquet early on Sunday morning here in Cebu. We had planned to Skype, but that wasn't possible so we went with Face Time. That provided a good visual connection but we had almost no sound. So we tried to read lips and anticipate what people would be saying. It was fun but a little frustrating. Anyway, here is what we saw. We will rely on others who were actually there to provide a full report.
We saw hundreds of friends of CSC, gathered together to celebrate 35 years of ministry in Cebu. And the celebration was grand, with a giant cake, a video featuring the CSC kids and staff dancing and partying, and special gifts for Table 35. We saw a cool looking jazz group that appeared to be playing well.
We saw a brand new emcee (Jared Gustafson) who was entusiastic, and whose love for CSC was evident. And he kept things moving along; the program was over by 8:30!
We saw a huge cake and a fun looking birthday celebration.
We saw our former resident, Erna, standing up so beautiful and confident as she told her story, and helped everyone see CSC through her eyes when she came to live with us.
We saw other speakers delivering what appeared to be heart-felt messages about the ministry.
We saw our people respond, once again, to the offering challenge, giving more than $118,000 for the children in Cebu. (Thanks to the slide that was projected with the offering total!)
We saw people we know and those we don't yet know. We saw and felt God's presense in the room, and we are all grateful to God for bringing all these great people together to celebrate what is happening here in Cebu.
Thanks to all who attended and those who gave so generously.
A Banquet for the Ages
"CSC is a place where some of us found our first good memories, for we came from broken homes and poverty. We had our first experience of Christmas, celebrating birthdays and the first memories of feeling acceptance and love. Through my eyes and the eyes of others, CSC was a place filled with love and second chances at life." - Erna Ahlmann, 2014 Banquet Keynote Speaker
Wow, what a testimony Erna shared of CSC. The attendees of our 35th birthday celebration were so blessed by her willingness to share her story.
The first thing we did when planning our banquet this year happened some nine months ago. We called our host, Bethel University, and the church where we hold the Adoptive Family Party the night before, to find out what dates were available. This year, only one weekend was open at both places. Imagine our surprise when we realized we were holding our banquet on the evening of May 3 in Minnesota, which, at 13 hours ahead, means it was the morning of May 4 in Cebu. By some miracle we scheduled our banquet on the very day our ministry started 35 years earlier!
It was a wonderful birthday party. We sang together, laughed together, and an awful lot of us cried together. In the end, the people there provided the best birthday gift of all...weeks of ministry through their financial generosity. Any day now we will admit our 900th child, and our banquet attendees--and all our amazing supporters--made that possible.
The Wheels are in Good Hands
Uncle Edwin and Uncle Ike were washing one of the vehicles and waiting for the next errand in need of a driver. Joemar was hanging out with them.
I asked Joemar, "Is Uncle Edwin a good driver?"
"Yes," he answered.
So I asked, "How about Uncle Ike, is he a good driver?"
Without thinking, Joemar answered, "No." And then a huge smile spread across his face as he started to laugh.
All four of us busted out laughing. Joemar had jumped on the chance to tease Uncle Ike, who is always joking with Joemar.
Uncle Ike, Joemar, and Uncle Edwin
I walked away, still chuckling. Joemar looks up to Uncle Edwin and Uncle Ike. They have driven him all over the city--to work at McDonald's, the doctor and dentist. They have helped him get on the right jeepney. They have been great role models for Joemar.
It is wonderful that Joemar can feel comfortable and at ease with the men he looks up to enough to joke around with. It is wonderful that they welcome him to joke with them. Love surrounds the children of the shelter.
CHS Graduation
The
2013-2014 school year came to a close at Children of Hope School, culminating
with the graduation ceremony. Four students graduated from preschool and
are ready to move onto
kindergarten and elementary school. Three students graduated from sixth
grade and now high school awaits them.
Smiles were all around, teachers smiling because of all the hard work of the
students, proud house parents smiling at the children, and students smiling
because of a job well done.
Mitch Ohlendorf, CSC Executive Director, gave an inspiring speech to the
graduates. The sixth grade graduates performed a dance with four fifth
grade students to the song, "Children of the Heavenly Father."
The preschool graduates were super cute as they performed to the song,
"Come Young Citizens of the World." One fifth grade student even sang
her own original composition, "Savior of All."
The graduation was a great symbol of the great school year. Now the
students and teachers can take a break of a couple months before starting into
the next school year.
A Fun Time with Visitors from Taiwan
A Saturday full of crafts, games, and new friends is always a great day. Recently, a group of visitors from Taiwan came to the shelter and turned a normal Saturday into just that—a great day.
There was face painting, crafts, coloring time, nail painting, reading time, jazz music, and Mandarin lessons. The children rotated to different activities in the morning. Then after a Jollibee lunch picnic style, it was a free-for-all in the afternoon. Some children went back for more face painting or crafts. A touch rugby game started up, then a volleyball game. Through it all lots of friendships were created. The day culminated in a drum circle with the visitors and the children—everyone working together to make great music.
A few nights later, the Taiwan group also invited the recent graduates of elementary and high school to join them for a dinner at a nice hotel. It was another great time of fellowship. It is amazing how children from different places and different backgrounds can find common ground in seemingly no time at all. After dinner the children arranged an impromptu concert next the beach. Children from each group joined together for songs, showing what they could do.
CSC is blessed by visitors giving their time to the children at the shelter.