Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Sign Language
“No significant learning can occur without a significant relationship.”
At first I was unsure and nervous about how to establish a teacher-student relationship with this sweet little girl. I had noticed she sometimes got upset when a lesson was hard for her. But with proper encouragement, motivation, and guidance, she now seems to have developed a readiness to face the challenges of our lessons.
It started off one day in Math when she called to me, “Teacher, ale.”(which means please come over here). I was puzzled about what she wanted. She whispered to me and said, “Can you sit beside me?” This gesture helped me realize she was having a hard time with the lesson.
As the days have passed, this has become our routine. When she needs me, she just calls my name and nods her head. Calling my name and nodding her head is our sign language and we both understand.
Recently one day during our Math class, I tried to sit beside her without having received the sign. She resisted and said, “No teacher, I know this.” I learned that day to wait for her signal.
Establishing a teacher-student relationship is very significant. It is how we as teachers establish trust and boost a student’s confidence. Perhaps, we are not only a teacher, but also a friend.
The End of Second Quarter
We are halfway through the year at the Children of Hope School! This past week marked the end of second quarter. Students were diligently reviewing and preparing for their quarterly exams at the end of the week. Teachers were busy writing tests and helping their students review content they had learned over second quarter.
The idea of taking quarterly exams can be stressful for some students. Still, they persevere. Below is a picture of a student finishing her science test. The test was challenging for her, but instead of giving up, she took the time to review each question carefully. She asked questions when she needed clarification. This student has come a long way since the beginning of the school year. She is learning to be patient with herself when she doesn’t understand the material. She is learning to ask for help. When she finally came to the last question on the test, she looked at me and exclaimed, “Oh! Teacher! I know this one!” Ending her test with confidence was the best way for her to end second quarter.
This school year seemed to fly by so quickly! I can hardly believe how far we have come since June! Please continue to pray for teachers and students as we begin the second half of the school year.
Dedication
Today was a special day. Today one of CSC's children was dedicated. CSC does not have the privilege of bearing witness to such ceremonies for all of its children, so when it does happen it is a treasured time. Of course, CSC staff and supporters, from all around the world (and around the clock) are constantly praying for our children. And in those prayers, God is given the authority to guide caregivers in how they care for each child, to draw His children closer to Him and to be under His protective care. And while those prayers are no doubt honored by God, there is something powerful and sacred in the ceremony of a dedication that is God-honoring.
In the book of Deuteronomy, chapter six, verses five to seven, we can read the commandment: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
Please pray for our houseparents and the very important job they have in raising each of CSC's children in the ways of the Lord. And enjoy the pictures from today's dedication ceremony!
Jeepers Peepers
You might be wondering what this picture is all about!
Each morning I have the privilege of meeting with this boy for 30 minutes of speech therapy exercises. Because of his cleft palate, he needs additional help with pronunciation and confidence with his speaking skills.
There are many activities that we do each day, but Jeepers Peepers is the last activity (and the funnest)! The rules of the game are as follows: one player at a time wears the “magic” glasses with a picture of an unknown object attached. The one wearing the glasses can ask as many questions as needed to identify the object, but they can only be “yes” or “no” questions.
Most of the time, this game involves quite a few giggles! At times, he asks for clues to help him guess. For instance, for this particular object, he asked if it was something his caregivers would use. When told that they would, he asked if the picture was of an umbrella. He is quite observant because umbrellas are a daily accessory for his caregivers; they of course use umbrellas when it’s raining but they also use umbrellas to protect them from the heat of the sun.
It’s amazing how good he is now at asking questions. He usually correctly guesses half of the pictures given to him, and the questions he asks are much more appropriate and on the right track. Also, this kid has such an upbeat personality---even if he doesn’t get it right, he still enjoys the game!
Charting the course forward
We recently had our annual board retreat. In a historical home on the edge of downtown Minneapolis, the board gathered to plan for the future of our ministry.
(Thank you World Mission Prayer League for the donated space)
These meetings don’t hold the emotional appeal that the kids in Cebu do. There are new residents finding their place at the shelter, and down-to-the-wire adoption dreams being worked on. Even the daily activity in the homes and at school trumps the appeal of a group of professionals gathering to pray, discuss and discern big-picture decisions. But, we also know how important that work is. As people who care about CSC you and I both want to know the ministry is charting a course towards the future that is hopeful and wise. I can see that we are.
Had you sat in on those board meetings, I trust you would have been impressed. Our members ask good, hard questions and wrestle with the direction they provide. We count on their wisdom, trust their collective savvy and lean on their prayers.
If you give to CSC to actively participate in providing a home to children, you give to a place that takes its leadership seriously. Everything that happens at CSC happens under a board that views themselves as stewards of God’s work. This is the best perspective we could ask for!