Staff Blog
Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek 
inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Party Party Party
There are many parties at CSC in December. December 5 was the CSC workers party. A fun evning of games, prizes, a short meditation, food and fun was had by everyone.
Saturday December 11, was the CSC Outreach party. Many former CSC residents came for an afternoon of games, a gift from Santa Claus, singing of Christmas carols, hearing the Christmas story and a meal from Jollibee. It's always fun to see some of our former CSC kids and their families.
There are still many upcoming CSC parties! The individual department parties, the school program, progressive dinnner, Christmas Eve and Christmas day activities.
Thank you to everyone who helps make the Christmas Season so special for all of the CSC kids and workers.
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Haircuts
With a house full of kids, what to do about haircuts? The solution is simple. Bring the barbershop to the house.
Many Saturday mornings at the shelter, a barber shop is set up somewhere near one of the homes. A local barber brings his tools of the trade and spends the morning snipping, trimming, cutting, and buzzing. This past Saturday the Duterte boys all got a trim.
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Giving generously and with a cheerful heart
The Christmas decorations are up and holiday tunes can be heard wherever you go! It is almost Christmas, only 15 days away! One of my absolute favorite CSC Christmas events is Junel's box. Maybe you have already heard the story, but for those of you who haven't...
Junel used to live at CSC. His generous spirit was his legacy and it inspired a wonderful CSC tradition. Before coming to CSC, Junel was not treated very well in his previous home. He was not allowed to eat with the rest of the members of his household and he was only able to eat if there was food left over. When he came to CSC, he expected it to be much the same. When it was mealtime, he went and sat in a corner instead of in a chair at the table, where all of the other children were. He needed reminders that he was just as special and loved just as much as the other CSC children.
Junel's most prized possession seemed to be a small film canister with a few coins in it. He loved to shake the canister to hear the coins jingle and he did so frequently! That noise signaled his caregivers of his presence and it became part of the background noise in the home. It was so much a part of the din that one day when it was not heard, the caregivers became concerned. "Where is Junel?! He should be upstairs! Everyone is home from school!" The caregivers rushed upstairs and sure enough he was there, and so was his canister, but it no longer made any noise. It was empty.
In school that day, Junel's teacher had told the story of children on another island not having any slippers to wear on their feet. He was so moved and compelled to help them that he gave all of his money, every last coin, each "noise-maker" he had.
Sacrifice. Giving everything you have. Giving what you cherish the most. That is truly what this season is all about.
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17
Every year at this time, all of CSC's children hear the story of Junel. For some of them they have heard it before, but for many, it is a story they are hearing for the first time. For children new to CSC, they are not so far away from the life they lived before. They can still remember begging on the street, or when their stomach hurt so much because it had been so long since they had eaten. They have vivid memories of being in need. The kids hear the story of Junel and then they hear of a family in their community that needs help. They see pictures of the family and the home. Maybe they see themselves. The kids are then told they have the opportunity to give money from their allowance to help that family this Christmas. The contributions will be used to buy food, and other household items to meet the needs of the family. The family this year needs a home so if enough funds are raised, building materials could be purchased.
Every year, I am astounded at the generosity of our children. So many of them, when told how much money is in their bank and asked how much they would like to give say, "Tanan." Meaning everything. They will give it all. And they do so with big smiles on their face.
For they were once in need and now they can help others. 'Tis the season, indeed. Merry Christmas!
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Tree of History
The Christmas tree is up at the school. The kids use their pictures to make star ornaments for the tree. New and old ornaments hang and twist in the breeze.
The many pictures draw in the kids. The kids like to see how they have changed and grown from their ornament pictures of past years.
On this one side of the tree there is a kid who has been at CSC 14 years, the next star ornament is a kid who arrived last month, and so many others in between.
The kids can
see a part of their history on this tree.
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Big Hearts
CSC loves making new friends, and we made a few yesterday. I received an email about two women who were interested in visiting us in Cebu and learning more about shelter work in the Philippines. They feel called by God to explore this and potentially start a shelter. I got to spend some time talking with them.
It was a very exciting conversation! I was asked a lot of questions about how we do our work. Their hearts were big, but I was especially thrilled to learn about the careful consideration with which they are approaching this idea. According to my limited wisdom, Cebu could certainly use more people who are working to benefit the poor but that doesn’t mean it’s what God has in store for these two ladies. Big hearts can sometimes become so excited to give that they begin to serve because of what they get out of it, or because the need seems so great, instead of because God deserves the glory of our service. It’s okay to feel good serving others and the need is HUGE, but the point behind any ministry should be to bring glory to God. A big heart is an amazing first step. Being patient, listening carefully, and working hard in order to learn and grow are next steps.
It was an honor to be part of the next steps with our two visitors yesterday. I hope they will continue to listen to God and follow the path he has for them. Maybe that’s to Cebu!
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