Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Boomerang
boo·mer·ang
/ˈbo͞oməˌraNG/
noun
- 1. a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower, traditionally used by Australian Aborigines as a hunting weapon
verb
- 1. (of a plan or action) return to the originator
Over the last few years, former CSC children have been returning for visits with increasing frequency. Some families have brought their children back to the country of their birth, and to see one of their first homes, for a heritage tour. Other children---actually young adults now---have made the journey on their own, for a more independent experience.
One former child, who was the youngest ever to leave for adoption (at age 9 months) requested to celebrate his 10th birthday with the kids of CSC; it was his birthday wish! Another young lady, who was adopted as a toddler, was here this past October. She is now a senior in college, studying Early Childhood Development, and wanted to return to CSC to see firsthand how the children of CSC are cared for and loved on, since she was one of them too! Last month, CSC was happy to have one of its very first children return for her 3rd visit back to CSC; this time she and her husband were excited to show their little girl where her mom came from. And most recently, about 2 days ago, CSC welcomed back a young boy who left as a toddler exactly 4 years ago. His family brought him back to once again play on the playground with some of the same kids he used to play with (though he made plenty of new friends too!) and to spend time with his former houseparents.
For each returning child, their story is of course uniquely theirs. They all have different circumstances that bring them to CSC and they all have different life experiences once they leave CSC. However, there is a pull, like that of a boomerang, for many kids to return to CSC. To see a place that they might only have pictures of but for which they have no vivid memories. They want to see first-hand former caregivers that put band-aids on their skinned knee, read stories to them or rocked them to sleep at night.
CSC is happy to welcome back former kids because really, once you are in the CSC family, you are always in the CSC family!
KCC
Kurume Christ Church, hence KCC, is a church in the city of Higashi Kurume in the greater Tokyo area in Japan. KCC is significant for a number of reasons, but one reason is that it is the only church in Asia that supports CSC on an on-going basis. Kurume Christ Church became aware of CSC many years ago through the friendship of Paul and Shari Reasoner and Taizo and Kimiko Morimoto. Taizo is the pastor of Kurume Christ Church. Pastor Morimoto wanted his church members to broaden their experience of helping people in need, so he suggested a team of people go to Cebu to see the shelter. Since that initial trip, a number of people who attend KCC have visited and volunteered at the shelter. A nurse came to help the nurses at the shelter, t-shirts were given to all of the workers and children at the shelter, a high school student volunteered in the medical department to enhance her pursuit of a career in medicine, and the church sponsors CSC children through the Foster Friends program. So KCC has been creative in its involvment with CSC.
Next week the Reasoner clan in Cebu (Joel, Jinkee, Ethan, Shari and Paul) is heading up to Japan to visit friends, family, Morimotos, and KCC. It will be great to update and thank the church people in person for their continued support of the shelter.
We're baack!
We are back in Cebu safe and sound. It has been a joy to see the kids and staff and re-learn how to navigate here. Lots of changes, but the ministry remains the same. Thanks to all who prayed for us and gave encouragement during our extended furlough.
How Does My Hair Look?
“How does my hair look? Does it look cool?” As I turn around, I see hair standing straight up, styled with gel, and filled will many different colors. Underneath it all, there is a young boy’s smile staring up at me. Many of the boys at the shelter enjoy styling their hair (sometimes even more than the girls do!). It has been fun to see all the “cool” hairstyles at the shelter. Even more than the hairstyles, the smiles on each face are priceless. Enjoy these pictures of some of the coolest hairstyles here at CSC!
Coloring and styling each other's hair
Purple hair!
That hair stands up so tall!
Look at those orange streaks!
The Dream Class
The school days after Sports Fest have been filled with preparation for third quarter tests. Teachers are busy preparing for the exams and pupils are busy studying their previous lessons.
During one review session, one pupil told me, “Teacher, I am so excited to know who will get the highest score on our exams in all the subjects and, hopefully, it will be me.”
I smiled and told her, “Oh, that’s good. Maybe you will get the highest score or maybe one of your classmates will get the highest score. All of you have a great chance of getting the highest score if you listen to the teachers during the review and study hard.”
This conversation happened in Level A-1 (kindergarten). The Level A-1 pupils are very amazing. We call them “the dream class.” These eight little girls follow instructions, listen attentively, and they are adorable. It’s stress-free teaching. They’ll do a great job on their quarter tests!