“Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story. Who you choose to be.” --Soothsayer, Kung Fu Panda 2
“I didn’t see my mother nor my father. I haven’t met them. No picture. No memories. I’ve been raised by strangers.”
“If only my father was gentle to my mother. They could have stayed together and we might not be here.”
“My mother left me. She even never said goodbye. I don’t know the reason.”
“The couple who fostered me and gave me home have shattered the very idea of home.”
Beginning. Once upon a time.
These are the stories of the beginnings of some of the older residents in CSC. Flipping the pages of their lives into the past would take a lot of courage and relationship. Some chose to seal those pages; while others are open about their once-upon-a-times. In counseling, children often share about their days, their dreams, as well as their past. For a child to paint these stories allows us to help them craft their life story.
“Life story is essential in developing one’s personality, values, and meaning. It’s the integration of reconstructed past and imagined future to provide life with some degree of unity and purpose.” --McAdams & McLean, Narrative Identity, 2013
Although this process may resurface the phantoms of the past, it helps the older resident embrace his/her whole story. By embracing his/her painful once-upon-a-time, it paves the way to acceptance and forgiveness. For some older residents, it was a privilege to hear them express how they acknowledge that no matter how painful their past was, it happened, it happened, it happened. It happened and they saw the collateral beauty of that pain. They are here. They are here with people who love them; who cares for them; who believes in them; who brought back the cape of their childhood; who gives them wings to soar the new horizon.
As our older residents navigate the new waters of independent living, they are more open to building bridges to their past. For some, they have birth families that they can return to; while others are starting to put together the pieces of their beginning. Their new journey is a navigation of mirth and melancholy; hopes and despair; and success and failures. They are now in the process of writing the new chapter, or perhaps, the sequel of their stories. Seeing the collateral beauty, they now have the power to restructure their future and have the power to direct their own narrative— narrative of an iridescent hope.
Mothers to the motherless
Mothers' Day is a time to focus on our moms, their love and the great contributions they have made to our lives. Let's take some time to think about the aunties at CSC who take on the role of substitute mothers for our children. Most of these women have children of their own, so their work with the CSC kids is a testimony to the depth of their reservoir of love. CSC relies so heavily on the contributions of these workers, women to mother the motherless children of CSC. God bless them, especially on this Mother's Day.
Places unseen
Last week I was walking into the Duterte House and was struck with what an incredibly beautiful building it is. It made me realize that you, the blog reader (or Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube follower), have probably never seen some of the "nooks and crannies" of CSC. So I decided to do a photo walk yesterday to try and capture some of these "places unseen." Hopefully these pictures help to communicate (1) how well CSC takes care of their facalities (2) how safe, secure, and protected these kids are and (3) that the only way these buildings and walls could have been built was with the generous donations from CSC supporters all around the world.
The Duterte House
The Cherne House
The Eicher House
Trees in the yard (the colored specks are kites).
The walkway that connects the infirmary with the Duterte House (and three boys flying kites).
The view from the infirmary.
The infirmary.
Iso, short for isolation - This is the place kids stay when the are first admitted to CSC (or are sick). As you can see, it sounds worse than it actually is. :)
The water tower in the back yard of the infirmary.
All of the walls around CSC have barbed wire to keep intruders out.
The main gate to CSC.
The hallway into the Children of Hope School. Daniel, one of the CCHS guards, is writing my name down in the "log book." Every person that comes and leaves CCHS is recorded in this book.
The main area in CCHS. This area is partitioned into classrooms during the school year.
The guard house and motorcycle parking at CCHS.
An interesting side note - It's rare to see a motorcycle bigger than 125cc here. Lindsay and I have a Honda XRM. It doesn't go very fast, but on an average week we spend around $2 on gas. :)
While these buildings and structures are incredible, it's what they hold that is truly beautiful:
H-U-G-S
hug - [pronounciation: hugh]
verb; used with object
1. To clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace.
2. To cling firmly or fondly to; cherish.
Synonyms:
verb : embrace - clasp - cuddle - enfold - inarm
noun : embrace - cuddle - clasp - squeeze - grip
And there ends the English lesson on parts of speech and definitions. It was really just a refresher course... :)
I'm writing about hugs because they are an everyday occurence for me and have been since I arrived August 2011. They were an unanticipated perk of the job and are a daily blessing! How love and care is communicated through their hugs is so touching to me for many reasons. Firstly, I am away from the friends and family who would normally hug me. It is honestly hard to feel lonely when you have 5 children waiting in line for a hug from you! :) Secondly, they mean it. We have some of the sweetest kids here. Despite the things they have seen or the things that have been done to them, they have learned to trust and love others. That is the third reason. And they want it too--the fourth reason. When I am able to comfort a hurting or sad child by my presence or with a hug, I am so humbled. I am so grateful that God has allowed me to serve in this way, to love on these kids, and for some it is the first time they have been treated this way. Check out the pictures below of some of our most stellar huggers! :)
This lil' dear hugs me whenever she sees me and rubs my back---can you say heart-melter?
One of our newest tikes---he is a cuddler! And I am just fine with that...
This sweet girl, everyday, yells out a greeting to me from wherever she may be and then runs with arms open wide!!!
If I am sitting anywhere, this one is likely to be in my lap! :)
Legs count, don't they?! :)
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13
A Day Not Forgotten
Today is a day that has significance for only a few people. May 4 was the day in 1979 when three young Minnesotans stepped off the plane in Cebu City, to a blast of incredibly hot air on perhaps the hottest day of that year, to begin their plan of starting a ministry for homeless children. There was nobody to welcome us, no brass band or flower leis. But it was an exciting day for Kathy, Marlys and me. We had been thinking, dreaming and praying for this day. May 4, 1979.
Or was it May 5? Sometimes we debate that. We are at the age now where we sometimes get a little fuzzy on details. It was one of those two days, I'm almost certain. I guess it doesn't matter. I've never been a slave to details. There we were, three young people without much in the way of experience or training about how to live in a tropical country, how to fix up a house or, more significantly, how to take care of children. I've got a feeling that there were a few people back home and here in Cebu who thought that we were destined for failure. In fact, I know its true because some of those folks have admitted it to me. I guess I can't really blame them. But we had one thing going for us. We were convinced that God had called us to go to Cebu and that, having done that, He would be with us. Through thick and thin.
There has been some thin over the last 34 years, but its mostly been thick. The excitement of stepping out in faith as we climbed down those airplane steps is still there for our staff. Much has changed in terms of facilities, staff, the number of children we care for, and the size of our annual budget. (Our first year we got by on about $6,000!) But mostly its the same. We get up in the morning, we do the work of taking care of children who do not have families, and we go to bed again. There is no drudgery in this work, and it is as fun and exciting as it was when we took in our first child in 1979.
May 4th or 5th or whatever day it was doesn't seem to matter much in terms of the big picture, and the challenges we face today in caring for 90 children in Banawa Hills. But it will always be important to those of us old timers who stepped out of that plane and into a life that has meant so much to us and to many other people, including almost 900 children.
Thanks to all who have had a part in it!
The week that was.....
Every week has it's own excitement, and it's own joys and problems to deal with. This week was no exception. We have had a fun week with the kids. Summer vacation is on, summer school and summer fan classes have started. We have recently admitted seven new kids ages three to nine; so we have lots of behavior to observe and respond to with them. One of our little guys had the experience of having his very excited adoptive family emerge from the van....a family was made. We have had birthday parties to celebrate and spent one afternnoon cooling off with the little swimming pools. We were concerned about our Jacob, he had to be hospitalized, but as of a few minutes ago Jacob's very happy room mate (that would be Joemar) came running to my office to report that Jacob was home! Kites are still the afternoon activity of choice for the boys. Sidewalk chalk art was one days project. Roselyn found a way to keep her newly claimed kitten close to home.... We do admit to complaining about how hot is it about every 13 seconds, but, over all it was a good week!