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Imagine what it would be like to wake up knowing today is the last day you will see your child. I wonder how carefully you would choose their clothes or the last words to share with them. I wonder how hollow it would feel to stand on the sidewalk as they are driven away. 

Imagine returning home without your children in tow. They were with you when you walked out of the neighborhood, but now you walk alone. Your world is upended. You’ve lost the title “mom” or “dad.” To make matters worse everyone is watching you from their front step or window. Secrets don’t keep long where you live—especially secrets like this.

Phil_road586075be46

People know what you’ve done and they don’t restrain themselves from staring. This is a lonely walk back to an empty home.

You can’t believe it got to this point. How could it? You didn’t have children to abandon them. But then he left, and there were no jobs to be found. The life you dreamed of isn’t visible anymore, and you don’t have anywhere to turn. Somehow the best option became giving them away.

Sometimes when I’m speaking to a group a person will ask how our kids end up in the care of the Children's Shelter of Cebu. I’ll confess that for most of the children a parent is still alive. “How could their parents just abandon them,” they wonder. It’s hard to explain. In our good-Christian mentality, you just don’t ever give up on your kids.

It’s hard to describe the straight jacket that is total poverty and utter hopelessness. It’s hard to explain not being able to protect or provide for your child. I can’t pretend to understand, but I know it’s easier to demonize the mom who couldn’t care for her baby than to put myself in her shoes. She doesn’t deserve to be understood because of what she’s done. Right?

I don’t know. High horses are easy to climb on when you’re propped up in a world of options. Judgment comes easy on this, but judgment has always been easier than understanding, including when a mom concludes her child is better off without her.  Judgment isn't our job at CSC. Our job is to love that child the best we can. It's the least we can do for those moms whose seperation is not the mark of selfishness, but of sacrifice.

 

Starting with the Right Mindset

Oct. 2, 2015By: Joel Reasoner

How do you get in the right mindset when you take on a task?  Teacher Cora’s class knows what to do.  When the students return to class after lunch they start with singing praises to the Lord.

Take some time before you start your next task to start with the right mindset.  Praise the Lord!

English Language Learners

Sep. 30, 2015By: Amanda Kliora

The students at the Children of Hope School always amaze me.  Primary instruction is given in English, a second language for them. Learning a second language is not easy. The English language is one of the most difficult languages to learn because of the multiple pronunciations for words, rules, and many exceptions to the rules. I admire these students for their perseverance and courage in the classroom as they learn English.

In our class, we have a morning routine. We gather our materials, pray, say “Good morning!” to one another, occasionally do a few stretches to calm our bodies down for class (including one of their favorite stretches called “warrior pose”), and do an activity that focuses on developing the students’ oral language in English. As a teacher, I will often give a word and ask one of the students to use this word in a sentence. Just the other day, we were doing this activity, and I asked the class if anyone could use the word “oppose” in a sentence. One student (pictured below) raised his hand with confidence. He was sure that his sentence would be correct.  With excitement in his voice, he said, “I do a warrior pose!” He had heard “a pose” instead of the word “oppose”.  It was a funny moment that allowed for further learning. By the time I asked the students to use a different word in a sentence, his hand was raised with just as much excitement.  He does not give up when he makes a mistake; he faces each new challenge with enthusiasm. IMG_0119

 


Responsibility

  • I will keep my promises.
  • I will not make excuses.
  • I will do all my work to the best of my ability.
  • I will make things right when I do wrong.
  • I will know my duty and do my duty.

(Character First! Education Series 2, booklet 1)

The statements mentioned above are not early New Year resolutions.  They are some helpful tips students have been learning in order to form responsible habits.

The question is: what is responsibility?  Responsibility means knowing and doing what is expected of me. (Character First! Education Series 2, booklet 1)

Wow! Sounds simple and easy, right?  That’s what the Group 4 Bible Class students thought at first, but they soon realized the words “easier said than done” are quite true.  Amazing!  As their teacher, I never expected those words would come from my young students.

Michelles_picture Great realization kids!  Keep it up!

New Friends

Sep. 28, 2015By: Joel Reasoner

Friends are great!  It is wonderful to know that someone is excited to see you and spend time with you.  You can share stories, ideas, laughter, and so much more.

 

Within the past two weeks, six new children of arrived at shelter.   They are excited to be here, but also a little apprehensive about the who will be their friends.  Luckily for them, all the other children know exactly what it is like to be the new kid. 

 

The older girls in Cherne home were having a hard time waiting for their new housemate to come out of isolation.  She had a cough and needed to wait a couple days.  The girls would sit on the stairs to the infirmary and get to know the new girl. 

new_friends_1When she finally was given the all clear to join the home, she was accompanied by her new friends to her new home.

 

Sometime adults worry about how younger children will get along with each other.  One of the new boys has an older sister.  She is in school all day and he is preschool so he is only in school for a couple hours.  Will he be all right without his sister by his side all afternoon?

new_friends_2With the help of his new friend on the left, there are no worries.

 

The adults of CSC show love to the children and teach them trust.  Sometimes the adults forget just how much the children can do for each other.  The love and care for fellow children just as important.

 

Pray the children will continue to share love with their fellow children.  Pray the new children will settle in and make friends.  Pray all the children will be able to feel God’s love for them—whether it is from an auntie or uncle or fellow child.

Bisan Saging, Basta Loving

Sep. 26, 2015By: Ruth Ohlendorf

Most Cebuanos my age grew up with a saying that goes “Bisan saging, basta loving.”  This saying means that even when the family is eating bananas all the time, as long as they love each other, the family is okay.

The passage, Proverbs 15:17, “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred” reminds me of that old saying.  It also reflects on the situations CSC’s children came from.  Not the whole, but the part about bananas and hatred.  The kids at CSC have come from different situations of poverty, neglect, abuse, and abandonment.  Some of the kids came from loving situations that deteriorated because one parent died suddenly. The one parent left behind could not cope up with trying to earn a living while taking care of the children at the same time.  Some of the kids came from broken families.  Most of them were abused before being cast aside when a parent got involved in a new relationship.

Bisan saging basta loving.  Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.  Some of these children did not have anything at all, no bananas, no vegetables, no fattened calf, no one to turn to, and most of all, no love, but had an abundance of hatred at times.  

Kindness, understanding, patience, hope, faith, joy, grace, and most of all, love.  This brings to mind that this is what CSC is all about.  It is not because of the beautifully maintained houses, medical building, and school, nor the playground and other things, though all of these have helped.  But, it is the people that made the shelter what it is.  Feelings of warmth and welcome are created by people who are kind, generous, patient, hopeful, understanding, even-tempered, and most of all, loving. Different backgrounds, educated to the less educated, Americans and Filipinos, people who answered God’s call to pray, give generously, volunteer their time during mailings, and serve on the CSC Boards both here in Cebu and in the US.  They came together to serve in a ministry that not only provided a roof over the heads of these children, but the loving-kindness and the grace of God that the children had not experienced before.

At CSC, there is no “bisan saging basta loving,” and  “no better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.” CSC is a big home, a big family that God has blessed with His love and grace.  Thank you Lord for the people who answered Your call to serve in this ministry.