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Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek Screenshot_2024-05-09_at_5.21.37PMinside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.

Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.

Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.

Screenshot_2024-05-09_at_5.21.51PMAt CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:

"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
 For they have their own thoughts.
 You may house their bodies but not their souls,
 For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
 You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
 For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
 You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
 The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
 Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
 For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children

Lost and "Found"

Jun. 15, 2015By: Ruth Ohlendorf

For quite some time, I tried finding ways to see someone who left Children’s Shelter of Cebu’s custody in 2007.  He was ten years old when he and his older sister left CSC.  It was everybody’s understanding, according to the agreement between CSC and the mother, that they would all live in the province.  It was not until a while later that we heard they came back to the city.  The sister was taken care of by the mother.  The boy, once again, lived in the same place he had lived before he had come to CSC.  It was hard knowing he would again be left on his own.  

I tried following up on him through his mother and older sister.  I asked many times to meet with him at the office.  For years, his mother did not have nice things to say about him.  The older sister, who was (and still is) under their mother’s care, seemed not to know how he was doing either.  She would only say she did not know what he was up to, or she did not know how he was doing.  She knew, though, that he was still living in the house near the market.  It’s not that she did not care for him, she just did not want to do anything to displease her mother.

I tried for years to get him to come to the yearly outreach Christmas party.  I even resorted to withholding his Christmas gift one year so he would come and get it at the office.  He did not come.  One year, when he was enrolled in grade four at a nearby school, I got him to come see me because I would not give him shoes if he were not the one to come get them.  So, I brought him to the store and got him the shoes and socks.  I even brought him back to the place he called home.  That was the last time I saw him.  

It has been quite some time.  I thought I lost that young boy.  But, God answered prayers.  Early this year, I heard of a place that caters to out-of-school youth that want to better themselves.  I talked, sent text messages, and visited some of CSC’s former kids whom I thought would benefit from the program.  And I sent a message and talked to this boy’s mother, too.  She told me she would tell him about this opportunity.  And praise God, she did!  I was very happy and thankful when he came to see me at the office to talk about the program and what it would mean for him.

I also could not believe it was him when he introduced himself.  The negative reports from the mother had colored my perception of him.  How could a drug-abusing kid look so clean cut and well-mannered as this young man seemed to be?  But I was glad he finally came back.  After all these years, he finally came back!

Now, this seventeen-year-old young man has been in training since the second week of May.  And as part of his training, he is working part time (and earning a half-day’s wage) through the social enterprise project of the organization.  He is also enrolled in the GED-like alternative school.  He hopes to pass the exams to either graduate from high school or to get into the high school level.  He only has a grade four education.  His main goal is to become a Filipino Marine.  He wants to serve his country and at the same time, help his family while doing it.

John Henry still has a long way to go.  Please pray with us for him.

Thank you, Lord, for this little miracle and answered prayers.   

Steps

Jun. 10, 2015By: Joel Reasoner

Steps can be big or small and both big and small at the same time.  Baby steps are big.  Sometimes big kids make slow, hesitant steps.

There are always babies at the shelter.  First steps for a baby are always achievements.  Eyes are full of concentration.  Hands are doing all they can to balance and anticipate a fall. Feet are planted with a shakiness and uncertainty.  These steps are so far from mastery of balance and coordination, but they are some the biggest steps this child will take in the entirety of his life.  Congrats to him!

Big kids can make big steps in ways that might fly under the radar.  At CHS graduation, all the students received an award for some achievement or contribution.  They ranged from Best in Math to Most Helpful, from Best in Music to Most Cheerful.  The Most Improved in grade 4 went to his boy.  He had put in a lot of work this past year and it was bearing fruit.  He is more than capable, but lacked motivation and direction at times.  His teachers have helped guide and challenge him.  They expected more from him and he stepped up!

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The Most Improved student in grade 3 was a girl who arrived at the shelter part way through the school year.  The shelter, school, everything was new to her and it was overwhelming.  At times when things in class got difficult, she would just stop participating.  Slowly over the second half of the year, she opened up and felt more comfortable.  She stepped out of her comfort zone!

Steps_2235294b788Thank you for praying for all the steps, big and small, that are taken every day.

Thumb Wrestling

Jun. 9, 2015By: Joel Reasoner

Growing up, I learned several little games that could be played with two people anywhere, games like thumb wrestling.  I do not claim to be an expert in thumb wrestling, but I have learned a lot from the kids are the shelter.  They have taught me tricks and techniques to give the littler kids a fighting chance. 

My mind was blown one night a birthday party while the kids around me and I were waiting for our turn to get food.  One kid challenged me to a game of thumb wrestling.  I accepted the challenge.  Soon another kid and another kid wanted to challenge me.  Of course I told them to wait their turn.  The first boy said something like, “They don’t have to wait.  We can all play.”  I was confused and before I could correct him, he started arranging all four hands.  All of a sudden, he said, “Okay, we are ready.  GO!”  It was magic.  I looked down at our hands and we were playing four way thumb wrestling! 

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I do not even remember who came out on top of this mass of hands.  All I could think of was, “What else did I miss out on in my childhood.”  This ingenuous inclusion of others had never occurred to my friends or I.  The rest of the night, a smile came to my face whenever I thought of the four way thumb wrestling and brilliance of the kids who surrounded me.   

They are all in His hands

Jun. 7, 2015By: Grace Anderson

As a staff member at CSC, I have the privilege of witnessing many amazing events in the lives of our kids. From birthdays, to graduation, to adoption...the staff and workers at CSC are constantly reminded of how God is working in this world. Many of the things we observe are often behind the scenes, and invisible to the eyes of the children. In July, I will have completed my year working on the Child Development team, and will be heading home to Minnesota. When I think about the eminent goodbye to come, it takes all that I have to hold it together. In reflection, here are some things that I have learned while being here:

1. You don't have to own much to be joyful. The kids at the shelter come from some pretty rough backgrounds, and many of them no longer have parents to speak of. Though we provide many things for them here at the shelter, it by no means replaces the need they have for a family. However, despite all the things going against them, the children are joyful. I have never seen anyone so contented with a few sticks, a plastic bag and some string...but of course that means hours and days of fun making and flying kites. And who ever knew paper could be so entertaining? But of course it is when it is formed into a paper airplane! The kids here don't have video games, or ipods, or cell phones to play with - things that many children in the U.S. see as necessities - yet that doesn't stop them from finding a way to have joy in each moment. 

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2. The last point kind of leads into this one. Hope is abundant in the lives of the children at CSC. Every night, the kids pray to be given a mom and a dad. Some kids have just started praying this prayer, and some have been praying it for years and years. For the later group, it is especially hard. Some of the children here have seen many friends adopted, and yet they have heard nothing of parents of their own. Though this is discouraging for them, they never let it get them down long. The prayers never stop. The hope is real. 

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I came to CSC with many preconceived notions about what I would be doing, and how I would impact the lives of the children around me. However, as time goes on, and as I look back, I realize the opposite has occurred. Yes I have made an impact, but I believe the greatest impact has been the one impressed upon my own heart by the kids. The way these kids live their lives is incredible, and if I can learn even one thing from the example they show, I will become a better person. It is going to be very hard to leave all these kids behind, but I find comfort in knowing that God has a plan for each and every one of them, and they are all in His hands. 

Celebrating our fathers!

Jun. 3, 2015By: Lindsay Hoeft

In honor of Father's Day this coming June 21, I'd like to ask you to say a prayer of thanksgiving for the amazing housefathers we have with us at CSC.  They are not able to clock out at the end of their day---they are 24/7.  They lead devotions in their home, intervene when discipline is necessary, comfort hurting children, emcee at birthday parties, laugh and joke, play, serve as expert lechon carver or Christmas elf upon request (see below!), instruct, be consistent, be present and teach.  They have such important jobs and we are blessed that they understand this!  Additionally, I would like to ask you to pray for them and the significant work God has called them to.  I know that they would appreciate your prayers as well, for they will be the first to admit that they lean heavily on God's grace, wisdom, patience and love every day.  And truthfully, we wouldn't have it any other way.

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Thank you, Lord, for our amazing housefathers.  Advanced Happy Father's Day to all and to all a good night!  :)