"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: "I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write." Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to "give away" on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches."
"Oh that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll..."
JOB 19:23 (NIV)
https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/writing-reveals-what-is-alive-in-us/
I don't write for the CSC blog all that often, but I thought it was interesting that the above devotion came to my email inbox just a little over a week ago. It makes me think that what I write down is a deeper expression of not only what is in my mind, but what is in my heart. I'm grateful for those who choose to read our updates and trust that you will find a nugget somewhere in all this to apply to your own lives.
Another school year has begun at CSC at our Cebu Children of Hope School. I received some pictures over the last couple of weeks that seem like priceless classics to commemorate the beginning of our school year. Much like last year, our school is adapting to new spaces where our kids learn in order to keep them safe and sheltered from the effects of the pandemic. Our actual school building is still being used as a quarantine facility for teachers and other employees who are rotating in an out of the shelter.
["My Hopes and Dreams": Don't you just want to know what he's writing for his hopes and dreams?]
[If you are able, Zoom in on the computer screen. Can't you just imagine what these kids are saying they're looking forward to at the beginning of the school year?]
Jesus' words from Matthew chapter 7 are at the heart of why we do what we do. Jesus says, "'Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'" We believe that God has far greater gifts to give to us and our CSC kids, and we will do our best to continue to give all that we have for their care, including their education.
The pandemic continues to rage on in Cebu with daily cases at all-time highs, even compared to last year. We had hoped to pull back on our restrictions, but that won't be able to occur until more of our employees have been vaccinated. The vaccines are coming to Cebu, but they are slow in coming with only a few doses available to our employees each week. Please continue to pray with us for good health and safety.
Grace and Peace,
Kirby Stoll
P.S. It is my honor to be able to write periodically for our CSC blog. It is my hope that these words and the words from all those who share from time to time will draw you in to the amazing work we get to do at CSC and that your relationship with the Lord will be strengthened. Learn more about CSC at https://cebushelter.org.
Lost and "Found"
For quite some time, I tried finding ways to see someone who left Children’s Shelter of Cebu’s custody in 2007. He was ten years old when he and his older sister left CSC. It was everybody’s understanding, according to the agreement between CSC and the mother, that they would all live in the province. It was not until a while later that we heard they came back to the city. The sister was taken care of by the mother. The boy, once again, lived in the same place he had lived before he had come to CSC. It was hard knowing he would again be left on his own.
I tried following up on him through his mother and older sister. I asked many times to meet with him at the office. For years, his mother did not have nice things to say about him. The older sister, who was (and still is) under their mother’s care, seemed not to know how he was doing either. She would only say she did not know what he was up to, or she did not know how he was doing. She knew, though, that he was still living in the house near the market. It’s not that she did not care for him, she just did not want to do anything to displease her mother.
I tried for years to get him to come to the yearly outreach Christmas party. I even resorted to withholding his Christmas gift one year so he would come and get it at the office. He did not come. One year, when he was enrolled in grade four at a nearby school, I got him to come see me because I would not give him shoes if he were not the one to come get them. So, I brought him to the store and got him the shoes and socks. I even brought him back to the place he called home. That was the last time I saw him.
It has been quite some time. I thought I lost that young boy. But, God answered prayers. Early this year, I heard of a place that caters to out-of-school youth that want to better themselves. I talked, sent text messages, and visited some of CSC’s former kids whom I thought would benefit from the program. And I sent a message and talked to this boy’s mother, too. She told me she would tell him about this opportunity. And praise God, she did! I was very happy and thankful when he came to see me at the office to talk about the program and what it would mean for him.
I also could not believe it was him when he introduced himself. The negative reports from the mother had colored my perception of him. How could a drug-abusing kid look so clean cut and well-mannered as this young man seemed to be? But I was glad he finally came back. After all these years, he finally came back!
Now, this seventeen-year-old young man has been in training since the second week of May. And as part of his training, he is working part time (and earning a half-day’s wage) through the social enterprise project of the organization. He is also enrolled in the GED-like alternative school. He hopes to pass the exams to either graduate from high school or to get into the high school level. He only has a grade four education. His main goal is to become a Filipino Marine. He wants to serve his country and at the same time, help his family while doing it.
John Henry still has a long way to go. Please pray with us for him.
Thank you, Lord, for this little miracle and answered prayers.
Steps
Steps can be big or small and both big and small at the same time. Baby steps are big. Sometimes big kids make slow, hesitant steps.
There are always babies at the shelter. First steps for a baby are always achievements. Eyes are full of concentration. Hands are doing all they can to balance and anticipate a fall. Feet are planted with a shakiness and uncertainty. These steps are so far from mastery of balance and coordination, but they are some the biggest steps this child will take in the entirety of his life. Congrats to him!
Big kids can make big steps in ways that might fly under the radar. At CHS graduation, all the students received an award for some achievement or contribution. They ranged from Best in Math to Most Helpful, from Best in Music to Most Cheerful. The Most Improved in grade 4 went to his boy. He had put in a lot of work this past year and it was bearing fruit. He is more than capable, but lacked motivation and direction at times. His teachers have helped guide and challenge him. They expected more from him and he stepped up!
The Most Improved student in grade 3 was a girl who arrived at the shelter part way through the school year. The shelter, school, everything was new to her and it was overwhelming. At times when things in class got difficult, she would just stop participating. Slowly over the second half of the year, she opened up and felt more comfortable. She stepped out of her comfort zone!
Thank you for praying for all the steps, big and small, that are taken every day.
Thumb Wrestling
Growing up, I learned several little games that could be played with two people anywhere, games like thumb wrestling. I do not claim to be an expert in thumb wrestling, but I have learned a lot from the kids are the shelter. They have taught me tricks and techniques to give the littler kids a fighting chance.
My mind was blown one night a birthday party while the kids around me and I were waiting for our turn to get food. One kid challenged me to a game of thumb wrestling. I accepted the challenge. Soon another kid and another kid wanted to challenge me. Of course I told them to wait their turn. The first boy said something like, “They don’t have to wait. We can all play.” I was confused and before I could correct him, he started arranging all four hands. All of a sudden, he said, “Okay, we are ready. GO!” It was magic. I looked down at our hands and we were playing four way thumb wrestling!
I do not even remember who came out on top of this mass of hands. All I could think of was, “What else did I miss out on in my childhood.” This ingenuous inclusion of others had never occurred to my friends or I. The rest of the night, a smile came to my face whenever I thought of the four way thumb wrestling and brilliance of the kids who surrounded me.
They are all in His hands
As a staff member at CSC, I have the privilege of witnessing many amazing events in the lives of our kids. From birthdays, to graduation, to adoption...the staff and workers at CSC are constantly reminded of how God is working in this world. Many of the things we observe are often behind the scenes, and invisible to the eyes of the children. In July, I will have completed my year working on the Child Development team, and will be heading home to Minnesota. When I think about the eminent goodbye to come, it takes all that I have to hold it together. In reflection, here are some things that I have learned while being here:
1. You don't have to own much to be joyful. The kids at the shelter come from some pretty rough backgrounds, and many of them no longer have parents to speak of. Though we provide many things for them here at the shelter, it by no means replaces the need they have for a family. However, despite all the things going against them, the children are joyful. I have never seen anyone so contented with a few sticks, a plastic bag and some string...but of course that means hours and days of fun making and flying kites. And who ever knew paper could be so entertaining? But of course it is when it is formed into a paper airplane! The kids here don't have video games, or ipods, or cell phones to play with - things that many children in the U.S. see as necessities - yet that doesn't stop them from finding a way to have joy in each moment.
2. The last point kind of leads into this one. Hope is abundant in the lives of the children at CSC. Every night, the kids pray to be given a mom and a dad. Some kids have just started praying this prayer, and some have been praying it for years and years. For the later group, it is especially hard. Some of the children here have seen many friends adopted, and yet they have heard nothing of parents of their own. Though this is discouraging for them, they never let it get them down long. The prayers never stop. The hope is real.
I came to CSC with many preconceived notions about what I would be doing, and how I would impact the lives of the children around me. However, as time goes on, and as I look back, I realize the opposite has occurred. Yes I have made an impact, but I believe the greatest impact has been the one impressed upon my own heart by the kids. The way these kids live their lives is incredible, and if I can learn even one thing from the example they show, I will become a better person. It is going to be very hard to leave all these kids behind, but I find comfort in knowing that God has a plan for each and every one of them, and they are all in His hands.
Celebrating our fathers!
In honor of Father's Day this coming June 21, I'd like to ask you to say a prayer of thanksgiving for the amazing housefathers we have with us at CSC. They are not able to clock out at the end of their day---they are 24/7. They lead devotions in their home, intervene when discipline is necessary, comfort hurting children, emcee at birthday parties, laugh and joke, play, serve as expert lechon carver or Christmas elf upon request (see below!), instruct, be consistent, be present and teach. They have such important jobs and we are blessed that they understand this! Additionally, I would like to ask you to pray for them and the significant work God has called them to. I know that they would appreciate your prayers as well, for they will be the first to admit that they lean heavily on God's grace, wisdom, patience and love every day. And truthfully, we wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you, Lord, for our amazing housefathers. Advanced Happy Father's Day to all and to all a good night! :)