God's grace shows itself to me in many ways. Some are glorious and some are not. By the grace of God, for instance, I have enough to eat, a good place to live, money for my diabetes medications and meaningful work that provides many emotional, material and spiritual blessings. But just 0utside my office are children who go to sleep hungry, who wake up with nobody to say "good morning," and with only bleak prospects for having their basic needs met. This noon I drove to McDonalds for a late lunch and was heading back to the office to eat. At the stoplight a little boy approached my car, tapped on my window and held out a deformed hand to ask for money. He motioned to his stomach to indicate that he was hungry. In his eyes was a hunger that went beyond his need for something to eat to indicate a hopelessness at life in general. But he doesn't have the luxury of looking at his life reflectively. He was hungry, and was looking at the food that I had purchased at the drive through that was on the seat next to me, food that I could easily do without. I gave him a handful of fries and drove off. On other occasions I might have just shook my head and not given him anything. Nutritionists might say that he was better off with nothing than a greasy fry, I don't know. But as I drove away my mind came up with many questions that I have considered often in my 38 years in Cebu, questions that don't really have answers but weigh heavily on my heart on occasions such as this.
- Why does this little guy have nothing and I have everything? Is there a single thing about how I have lived my life that qualifies me for advantage? Has this little guy done anything wrong to deserve a withered arm and a hungry tummy?
- Why didn't I just give him my whole lunch instead of a few paltry fries? By suppertime I would be dining on a good meal and he would be hungry again. Likely, I just wanted him to go away from my car.
- What does he think about me and what I represent?
- If he ever does look to the future, does he have a shred of hope that things will get better for him? With little or no positive family or other adult influence, with no access to health care or decent education, and with daily exposure to the many dangers from living on the street, is there any chance whatsoever that he will? What will be different for him, his eventual children and theirs?
- What is life like without hope? Can I even begin to understand that?
The disparities of life in a country like the Philippines are hard to grasp. Living here provides graphic proof that God's grace has nothing to do with merit. Not a thing. That kid deserves a break much more than I ever do or will. All I can do, perhaps, is to think about why God called me to live much of my life here and not in the country of my birth. Some people think that, in choosing to live here, I forsook the luxuries of life for the difficulties of the third world. But I live in the lap of luxury here, too. I just have to pay an emotional price for doing so as I come face to face with people who struggle just to stay alive.
I've been dealing with these same questions for 38 years! At CSC we have been able to help lots of little guys like the one I saw today. We have taken in the hungry, the lame, the disfigured, the homeless. We have dispensed food, medicine, knowledge, even hope. But we aren't helping this little guy at all. Except for a fistfull of fries. Of course we can't help everyone, I know that. But that knowledge doesn't remove his image from my mind or, on the other hand, make his life one ounce better.
I pray for wisdom, to accept the things that I cannot change, to be an agent of positive change where I can, and to know the difference, even though knowing that difference does not provide emotional relief from the confrontations with hopelessness that are a part of life in a place like this. I guess the best way to accomplish the dictates of the above-cited Serenity Prayer is to focus on the things that I can change, not on what I cannot. On the tree, not the forest. But I'm very sure that there are things that I can change if I open my mind to them, to see people not as an inconvenience but an opportunity. Maybe I can use some of the incomprehensible advantages that have been bestowed on me to offer some measure of relief and, maybe, even hope to people like the little boy who I cannot get out of my head.
Farewell Pacadas
Recently we bid farewell to Amy, Marcel and Emily Pacada, who left for the U.S. The party included great food, a slide show and words of love and appreciation and love from staff, co-workers at the school and some of the kids. And, of course, they were serenaded with our traditional farewell song, "God Will Take Care of You." Amy was a teacher in our Children of Hope School since it began 18 years ago. Marcel joined the CSC team a few years ago in the HR department. They will be missed. We wish them well as they locate in North Dakota and start a new chapter in their lives. Thanks, Pacadas, for what you have contributed to CSC. God bless you.
That Can't Be Right!
Those were the words I said when the accounting team added up the donations at our recent banquet. We had a lower attendance this year: 650 instead of our usual 750-800 people. Statistically, the offering should have been substantially lower than usual.
The day of the banquet, the staff and volunteers gathered and prayed for the event. We prayed that God would work in the hearts of those who were attending and those who couldn’t attend, that the night would be honoring to God and that the donations received, whatever amount, would be what we needed to sustain this part of the ministry.
And then all of you showed up. You stepped up to sponsor the event, gave donations that night, and many of you gave gifts despite the fact that you could not attend the banquet. So at 8:30 pm, when the accounting team gave the total of $142,820.90, we weren’t sure what to believe. Could it be possible that even with fewer people in the room, we broke a record for our banquet offering? Yes, it was possible.
Just over a week later, when the online donations have been processed, all the checks have been double and triple checked, and a few other gifts arrived in the mail from those who wanted to contribute to the banquet offering, our total is now sitting at $144,686.43. It is amazing and is only possible because God used all of you to make this happen. We certainly aren’t in the clear for the rest of this year. The banquet total is about 14% of our budget for the year. But we know we will be all right because with God all things are possible.
Surgeons!
They can do pretty much anything! It's amazing! OK, they're not your regular surgeons. They are CSC's construction surgeons and they can create or reconfigure almost anything to make it better or different.
So we (Principal Cris and I) had this idea to rearrange the principal's office during the summer break to open up the space and make it useable for a resource room when kids needed behavioral or academic help away from their peers. The trouble is that the office is tiny and has built-in cabinets across the middle of it, dividing the space into two little rooms. We asked Jerry, the head surgeon (aka CSC Facilities Director), if he could reconfigure the office to make it one space, taking out the cabinets and mounting them on a different wall so they could still be used. Another idea was to have sliding doors made to still have the option of closing off the office when more privacy is needed.
School ended last week, so Jerry and his team of surgeons got going right away. Cio (CSC construction and maintenance) is the main surgeon when it comes to these kinds of projects, so he started to carefully extract the shelves without wreaking them. Verhilio (CSC maintenance and plumbling) was support surgeon and Bobong (school maintenance) helped with moving the shelves once they were cut out.
And so before our very eyes, we can now envision a new function for the principal's office. These guys are great. They tackle projects without hesitation and think anything is possible. I guess it is!
Kites
Kite season is underway at CSC. The kids are excitedly looking for plastic bags, sticks, and string. They are creative in their design and can't wait to get their kite flying in the air. The aunties are even excited to help the younger children make kites. You have to be careful walking around CSC these days as you might trip on string or be ran into by someone trying to get their kite in the air. Unfortunately the trees at CSC seem to collect a lot of kites these days. That doesn't matter though or stop the fun from happening at CSC. I would encourage you to go out and fly a kite. It's a lot of fun no matter what age you are.
Blessed Decisions
I sat in a referral meeting the other day. We have these meetings to discuss children for potential admittance. Often in these meetings the list of children in need is greater than what our homes can house. The list is long because poverty is destructive; it untangles families when there are more mouths to feed than there is food to give. The list is long because of poverty, violence, abuse, neglect, drugs, sickness, and death. All of our children come to CSC for one or several of these reasons.
Our top priority was to discuss a 6-week-old baby boy very much in need of loving care and proper nourishment, some things he had not had much of yet. He was so tiny, not even four pounds yet. He had spent these first weeks of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit fighting off sepsis and trying his best to grow but not receiving enough nourishment to do so. His young mother had her own struggles, battling mental health issues and cognitive delays; she was also doing her best to be a good mom but was unable to do what was needed.
Here he is. He is such a small little guy, barely able to keep his eyes open most of the time.
Our decision to admit this child or not might seem
like a no-brainer. He needs good care;
he needs the kind of care that can be provided at CSC. But he is so young, only six weeks old. Doctors have met him, observed him, and run
tests to try to figure out what is keeping him from growing and
developing. Because of his age, there is
little they can know for sure. The
unknowns regarding his future are many.
Of course, the same could be said about every child admitted to CSC and that would be true. But with a child who has had such a rough start to life, permanent damage could have already been done. The type of permanent damage that could prevent him from being adopted. And that is what it inevitably comes down to. CSC is a temporary place for children to come to for stability, healing and growth before continuing all of that in their forever family. We need to admit children that will be adopted so there is space for others to come after.
Big decisions. And they are not made lightly. We seek and pray for God’s wisdom regarding which children we admit. We take all of the information given to us by the social workers, our medical team, physical therapists and doctors in the community and cover it in prayer. Individually and collectively. These decisions are made easier when we spend time in the referral meetings talking about how so many times before, staff members have had these same conversations, sharing valid concerns about taking in a certain child with unknown needs. And we have been blessed to see God's hand at work, healing children in miraculous ways.
One such story stands out to me. A little 7-month-old girl was referred to us, weak and malnourished and her limbs were so floppy. They lacked muscle tone for such a while that doctors suspected she might never walk. Fast forward 2.5 years and we have a rambunctious and mischevious little girl on our hands. And oh how she RUNS! And next week a family is arriving to take her home! She is a testament to God sitting with us in those meetings and honoring CSC's commitment to venture into the unknown. She is a living and breathing example that God heaps blessings on those who walk in faith!
I am so happy to report that the little guy above recently had a major test, the results of which we were expecting to be poor, but which were normal. We are already seeing God's hand at work in his life. We felt confident and happy to make him the newest member of the Eicher Home! :)