How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard, easy to be cold
How can people have no feelings?
How can they ignore their friends?
Easy to be proud, easy to say no.
Songwriters: Ragni, Gerome / Rado, James / Mac Dermot, Galt
The words of this song from the late 60s were brought to mind recently when a 12 year-old boy was referred to us. His story reveals the heartlessness and cruelty of people, and the ways that some children have to suffer at their hands. We'll call this boy Roberto and his younger brother, Michael.
Roberto and Michael were brought to an orphanage in Cebu City when they were babies. The orphanage, which was connected to a Protestant church, was not a good place. When the boys were older they were abused. Punishment was severe, sometimes cruel. The lady who was in charge of the place was the one dealing out the beatings. Luckily, the place was closed down and the children were parceled out to other child caring institutions. CSC got three girls from that place, but we did not have room for boys at the time, so Roberto and his brother, then nine and 10, went to live at a home for children on a neighboring island. Shortly after there arrival there, one of the boys threatened Roberto. (The home catered to older kids, and their residents included some who had lived on the streets and were used to fighting and intimidation.) On the second night they were there, Roberto decided to run away. Michael was afraid to go out into the dark night, but Roberto was able to find a young boy, just five years old, to go with him. The gate was always left open so they had no trouble getting away.
Roberto only knew one place to go, back to the church where he had lived. He didn't know that it was 18 miles from where they were starting out. And they had to cross a long bridge that led to Cebu island. But he knew he wanted to leave that place, so off they went into the night.
It took two days and nights to get to the church. They slept along the road, wherever they could find a spot that looked safe. On the second morning Roberto woke up and discovered that his little companion was gone. Without a trace. All he could do was keep going. When he finally got to the church he found that it was closed up. The gate was locked. One of the former orphanage workers said that he could be their family's houseboy, but that didn't last for long. One day that family packed up and left, and Roberto had no place to go.
Out of desperation, he found a big piece of cardboard which became his bed for the next months. He slept just outside the locked gate of the former church/orphanage. He would look for food wherever he could find it, in garbage cans or occasional handouts from neighbors. Other times he would steal food to feed his hungry stomach, which enraged people in the community. He was often beaten by neighborhood boys. One family took pity on him and would stop the boys from beating him, and would give him food. Life was hard for Roberto. No place to live. Nobody to take him in. He missed his brother and worried about the boy who had disappeared along the way. How can people be so heartless? How can they be so cruel?
One of the compassionate neighbors knew about CSC and informed us about the situation of Roberto. We get lots of referrals and can not respond immediately to all of them. Eventually our social worker and counselor went to visit Roberto and hear his story. They were overwhelmed by the things that had happened to him. In the next few days we made contact with the place where Michael was staying and arranged a meeting with their social worker. Two of our social workers, Chris and our new Social Worker Director, Klaris, and our counselor, Eldie, made the trip to the neighboring island to discuss the boys' case. Michael was relieved to hear that Roberto was okay. He hadn't heard anything about him for a year and a half. Both boys wanted to be reunited and it was determined that this should happen the next day at CSC.
The reunion was so sweet for the boys. They were more than a little amazed at the facilities of CSC and the course of events that had brought them back together. After more counseling and some medical tests, and a talk with a representative of the place where Michael was living, our staff made the decision to admit Michael and Roberto. The boys would no longer be separated and Roberto's days of homelessness would end. It was an exciting day for all of us. They boys needed to go back to their respective places, get the few things they owned, and say goodbye before becoming official CSC kids. But first we brought them to Jollibee, a fast food restaurant near CSC. It was so much fun to watch the boys eat and laugh. It must have seemed a little surreal to them to be together at that place with a group of adults who were concerned about them and wanted them to be together in a nice and safe place. Roberto was not able to finish his chicken and we were surprised when he asked if he could have a bag for "take-home."
When they got to the place where Roberto had been staying, he ran to one of the houses near the church, the place where one of the people who had protected him from the cruel boys lived. This was the first person who had shown concern for him, maybe in his whole life. Roberto wanted to give this guy the leftover chicken from Jollibee! It was one of the most touching things that we have known about in our many years of working with kids. A few acts of kindness had made a huge difference in Roberto's life and he wanted to say "thank you" in the only way he knew how.
Later that day the boys were officially admitted, and spent the night in the infirmary while we waited for their lab results. The next morning they moved into the Cherne Home, where house parents Tarex and Pureza and the children welcomed them. It was the biggest day in their lives, so far. And there are many big days ahead. They will be making a lot of new friends and will soon be enrolled in our Children of Hope School. They won't be apart. They won't be hungry. If they are sick they will be provided with the best medical care available in the Philippines. If they are sad they'll be comforted. And they will get the chance to learn about a loving Heavenly Father and a friend and Savior who will never abandon them.
Yes, its easy to be heartless. Easy to be cruel. But its also easy to be kind. Easy to be a needed friend. Kids need a friend. Thanks to all who make it possible for us to say yes to kids like these two and the many others who need the love and care of our Shelter.
Lost and "Found"
For quite some time, I tried finding ways to see someone who left Children’s Shelter of Cebu’s custody in 2007. He was ten years old when he and his older sister left CSC. It was everybody’s understanding, according to the agreement between CSC and the mother, that they would all live in the province. It was not until a while later that we heard they came back to the city. The sister was taken care of by the mother. The boy, once again, lived in the same place he had lived before he had come to CSC. It was hard knowing he would again be left on his own.
I tried following up on him through his mother and older sister. I asked many times to meet with him at the office. For years, his mother did not have nice things to say about him. The older sister, who was (and still is) under their mother’s care, seemed not to know how he was doing either. She would only say she did not know what he was up to, or she did not know how he was doing. She knew, though, that he was still living in the house near the market. It’s not that she did not care for him, she just did not want to do anything to displease her mother.
I tried for years to get him to come to the yearly outreach Christmas party. I even resorted to withholding his Christmas gift one year so he would come and get it at the office. He did not come. One year, when he was enrolled in grade four at a nearby school, I got him to come see me because I would not give him shoes if he were not the one to come get them. So, I brought him to the store and got him the shoes and socks. I even brought him back to the place he called home. That was the last time I saw him.
It has been quite some time. I thought I lost that young boy. But, God answered prayers. Early this year, I heard of a place that caters to out-of-school youth that want to better themselves. I talked, sent text messages, and visited some of CSC’s former kids whom I thought would benefit from the program. And I sent a message and talked to this boy’s mother, too. She told me she would tell him about this opportunity. And praise God, she did! I was very happy and thankful when he came to see me at the office to talk about the program and what it would mean for him.
I also could not believe it was him when he introduced himself. The negative reports from the mother had colored my perception of him. How could a drug-abusing kid look so clean cut and well-mannered as this young man seemed to be? But I was glad he finally came back. After all these years, he finally came back!
Now, this seventeen-year-old young man has been in training since the second week of May. And as part of his training, he is working part time (and earning a half-day’s wage) through the social enterprise project of the organization. He is also enrolled in the GED-like alternative school. He hopes to pass the exams to either graduate from high school or to get into the high school level. He only has a grade four education. His main goal is to become a Filipino Marine. He wants to serve his country and at the same time, help his family while doing it.
John Henry still has a long way to go. Please pray with us for him.
Thank you, Lord, for this little miracle and answered prayers.
Steps
Steps can be big or small and both big and small at the same time. Baby steps are big. Sometimes big kids make slow, hesitant steps.
There are always babies at the shelter. First steps for a baby are always achievements. Eyes are full of concentration. Hands are doing all they can to balance and anticipate a fall. Feet are planted with a shakiness and uncertainty. These steps are so far from mastery of balance and coordination, but they are some the biggest steps this child will take in the entirety of his life. Congrats to him!
Big kids can make big steps in ways that might fly under the radar. At CHS graduation, all the students received an award for some achievement or contribution. They ranged from Best in Math to Most Helpful, from Best in Music to Most Cheerful. The Most Improved in grade 4 went to his boy. He had put in a lot of work this past year and it was bearing fruit. He is more than capable, but lacked motivation and direction at times. His teachers have helped guide and challenge him. They expected more from him and he stepped up!
The Most Improved student in grade 3 was a girl who arrived at the shelter part way through the school year. The shelter, school, everything was new to her and it was overwhelming. At times when things in class got difficult, she would just stop participating. Slowly over the second half of the year, she opened up and felt more comfortable. She stepped out of her comfort zone!
Thank you for praying for all the steps, big and small, that are taken every day.
Thumb Wrestling
Growing up, I learned several little games that could be played with two people anywhere, games like thumb wrestling. I do not claim to be an expert in thumb wrestling, but I have learned a lot from the kids are the shelter. They have taught me tricks and techniques to give the littler kids a fighting chance.
My mind was blown one night a birthday party while the kids around me and I were waiting for our turn to get food. One kid challenged me to a game of thumb wrestling. I accepted the challenge. Soon another kid and another kid wanted to challenge me. Of course I told them to wait their turn. The first boy said something like, “They don’t have to wait. We can all play.” I was confused and before I could correct him, he started arranging all four hands. All of a sudden, he said, “Okay, we are ready. GO!” It was magic. I looked down at our hands and we were playing four way thumb wrestling!
I do not even remember who came out on top of this mass of hands. All I could think of was, “What else did I miss out on in my childhood.” This ingenuous inclusion of others had never occurred to my friends or I. The rest of the night, a smile came to my face whenever I thought of the four way thumb wrestling and brilliance of the kids who surrounded me.
They are all in His hands
As a staff member at CSC, I have the privilege of witnessing many amazing events in the lives of our kids. From birthdays, to graduation, to adoption...the staff and workers at CSC are constantly reminded of how God is working in this world. Many of the things we observe are often behind the scenes, and invisible to the eyes of the children. In July, I will have completed my year working on the Child Development team, and will be heading home to Minnesota. When I think about the eminent goodbye to come, it takes all that I have to hold it together. In reflection, here are some things that I have learned while being here:
1. You don't have to own much to be joyful. The kids at the shelter come from some pretty rough backgrounds, and many of them no longer have parents to speak of. Though we provide many things for them here at the shelter, it by no means replaces the need they have for a family. However, despite all the things going against them, the children are joyful. I have never seen anyone so contented with a few sticks, a plastic bag and some string...but of course that means hours and days of fun making and flying kites. And who ever knew paper could be so entertaining? But of course it is when it is formed into a paper airplane! The kids here don't have video games, or ipods, or cell phones to play with - things that many children in the U.S. see as necessities - yet that doesn't stop them from finding a way to have joy in each moment.
2. The last point kind of leads into this one. Hope is abundant in the lives of the children at CSC. Every night, the kids pray to be given a mom and a dad. Some kids have just started praying this prayer, and some have been praying it for years and years. For the later group, it is especially hard. Some of the children here have seen many friends adopted, and yet they have heard nothing of parents of their own. Though this is discouraging for them, they never let it get them down long. The prayers never stop. The hope is real.
I came to CSC with many preconceived notions about what I would be doing, and how I would impact the lives of the children around me. However, as time goes on, and as I look back, I realize the opposite has occurred. Yes I have made an impact, but I believe the greatest impact has been the one impressed upon my own heart by the kids. The way these kids live their lives is incredible, and if I can learn even one thing from the example they show, I will become a better person. It is going to be very hard to leave all these kids behind, but I find comfort in knowing that God has a plan for each and every one of them, and they are all in His hands.
Celebrating our fathers!
In honor of Father's Day this coming June 21, I'd like to ask you to say a prayer of thanksgiving for the amazing housefathers we have with us at CSC. They are not able to clock out at the end of their day---they are 24/7. They lead devotions in their home, intervene when discipline is necessary, comfort hurting children, emcee at birthday parties, laugh and joke, play, serve as expert lechon carver or Christmas elf upon request (see below!), instruct, be consistent, be present and teach. They have such important jobs and we are blessed that they understand this! Additionally, I would like to ask you to pray for them and the significant work God has called them to. I know that they would appreciate your prayers as well, for they will be the first to admit that they lean heavily on God's grace, wisdom, patience and love every day. And truthfully, we wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you, Lord, for our amazing housefathers. Advanced Happy Father's Day to all and to all a good night! :)