Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Typhoon Hagiput (Ruby) Update
Typhoon Hagiput (Ruby) is heading out of the Philippines. It closely followed the path Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda) took last year, passing north of Cebu City. Children’s Shelter of Cebu braced for the worst over the weekend. Fortunately, Typhoon Hagupit continued to weaken as it traveled across the Philippines. The wind and rain were minimal in Cebu City.
Thank you for all your prayers of safety for CSC and Cebu City. Continue to pray for all the people affected by the storm.
Recital 2014
People enjoy music because it can
be a way of expressing themselves, showing what they feel. Last week the CCHS
kids expressed their God- given talents at a recital praise night. It was a
very exciting and surprising night for everyone. The kids couldn’t wait to
perform and were so excited for the program, even the smaller ones. As one
student, Jhaycob, approached me he said, “Dugay pako teacher”? (How long will I
wait?)
CSC staff, teachers, and other
invited guests were also excited and wanted to hear what the kids had been
learning in music class and lessons. Many of the children are relatively new to
the shelter, so it was their first time playing an instrument. I can truly say
that it was really something out of nothing. Earlier in the school year, the kids
had no idea what music is all about or how to play an instrument. The kids were
amazing as they performed their pieces in front of an audience. It was also an
opportunity to really appreciate the effort of the music teacher teaching the
students in order for them to play the different instruments. With proper
guidance and training, the kids were able to show what they have learned with
style. Everyone was entertained and excited, especially with the drummers.
What happened at the recital was
not just entertainment. There is something that we need to ponder out of that
event. It's really a good thing seeing our kids glorifying God with their talents.
An example of this was Pretchy who composed a song about our Saviour, Jesus
Christ and sang it for us. We're also glad to see them standing in front of
many people with courage.
It is important for each person at
the school and shelter to help build the kids’ courage because it is a positive
attitude for them to have. The kids learned so much from the entire experience
and we can learn from them as well. Music
is pleasant to one's ear and it influences many people. We can be music also by
touching others’ lives for God. As
we inspire them, we're building up their courage. We can make a change in others’
lives if there is proper guidance. At the beginning, one takes a risk on how to
teach the kids, but they will really excel if there’s guidance. And it was proven
with our praise night.
God is working in our midst. He
heals the broken hearted and blesses each one of us. Let us be music that
touches others’ hearts.
-Abigail Oblianda, Instructional Assistant
Trade-offs
Life is full of trade-offs.We enjoy some things at the expense of others. That is really true for our CSC staff. And Marlys and I are feeling it in a big way. This is a great time of year, and we are enjoying spending lots of time with our family. But Christmas is an especially fun time of year at CSC in Cebu. We have lots of fun activities for the children and it is so great to spend Christmas with the CSC family. We will miss that greatly this year. Its a trade-off. Another is the weather. We miss the tropical warmth of Cebu but like the changes of seasons and the snow that Minnesota offers. We like being involved in the promotion of the ministry and fund raising efforts that support the ministry, but miss the daily work on the Cebu side.
Although the past 35 years of ministry have had a good share of difficulties, and we have missed out on a lot with our families, we wouldn't trade them for anything. We have had exciting lives directing CSC, and we have been blessed greatly seeing God's hand in the ministry. We have met so many terrific people, and had a chance to invest in the lives of hundreds of kids. We thank him regularly for giving us the opportunity to serve Him in Cebu!
Men's Fellowship
CSC is full of great people caring for the children. Child care workers, house parents, counselors, teachers, social workers, office workers, therapists, management, nurses, and guards come together each day for the children. I am one of these workers, and, as a man, I realize that the men are outnumbered. For every man working at the shelter, there are five women.
Over the years, the men have started a Bible study just for the men. It usually takes some creativity to find a good time to meet since each person’s schedule varies. At times it has been a weekly meeting. Holidays that land on a weekday are also good days to do something a little different than a Bible study. When we are lucky to get this, the men usually join together for basketball and food. These mornings are a lot of fun. It is always good to spend time with co-workers outside of work hours.
When Matt Buley was in Cebu a while ago, the men were able to organize a morning of playing basketball. It was fun to see a part-time guard on the same basketball team as the president. No one in this group is a PBA (Philippines Basketball Association) star. We just enjoyed ourselves. Good plays were acknowledged by both teams. Mistakes were laughed off by both sides.
After several hours of grown men with mediocre basketball skills playing all out, it was time for food. The morning feast was spread out on banana leaves. This is a called a boodle fight. No utensils or plates. Hands were all you needed to get the food from the banana leaf to your mouth. It was a fitting way for a group of men to culminate a morning of fellowship.
Read. Eat. Play, Sleep.
When I was a kid, my family did not have the luxury of buying me books. I only received a book for my birthday or as a Christmas present—and even that was not every year.
The kids at the shelter are very blessed to have books within reach. From toddlers to teenagers, these kids are exposed to the beauty of what books have to offer. It is amazing to see how engrossed they are when they start looking at and reading books.
One of the kids I work with in therapy enjoys books. A lot. It is easy to tell how much he enjoys books just by looking at his facial expressions. Some of the physical therapy stuff I introduce when working with him is not received well. He thinks it is hard, uncomfortable or boring. But when we get to floor time and I incorporate books into the therapy, he does not care what he is asked to do. He will go on all fours, kneel, or sit cross-legged as long as he gets to touch, look at the books, and flip the pages.
Yes, this toddler’s day looks like this—Read. Eat. Play. Sleep.