Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Books! Books! Books!
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.” Dr. Seuss
Kind, generous people send all sorts of needed things to the shelter and school. Earlier in the summer a couple of boxes arrived with an assortment of clothes, toiletries, shoes, toys, books and more. BOOKS! We’re always happy to get books at school. We were curious as to who sent the books since we had not been expecting lots of books. We were told that, once again, a wonderful friend who is a media specialist in a school had “secretly” given the books.
The kids noticed the books up high on a shelf right away when they came for library and asked if they could check them out. Since the books needed to be entered into the library system and the usual person who does that work was on maternity leave, the kids have had to wait a bit to check out the new books. Well, the books are ready now! Thank you for giving these beautiful books. We are so blessed to have tons and tons of books.
“There is more treasure in BOOKS than in all the PIRATES’ LOOT on Treasure Island.” Walt Disney
Saying Goodbye
Hellos and goodbyes are rather routine at CSC. We welcome new kids into our homes, and then serve them in a variety of ways including teaching, playing, sitting, poking at bugs, listening, hugging, healing, caring, and many other things. Eventually, we have to stop and say farewell to these kids. This is one of those bittersweet pieces of serving at CSC. I don't like saying goodbye because these are kids I've grown to know and love. And yet, I am grateful to know God has answered prayers by providing a family, in his perfect timing and way. Sometimes it takes a lot longer than we would hope or expect, but God does a lot in the lives of the kids and families during this time. It's a season of preparation and patience.
But here we are, reaching a time soon when we will say farewell to a sibling group of 3, after years of waiting. These are the same kids I took to Manila back in January. I've also had the opportunity to facilitate their Skype phone calls with their adoptive family, and teach them American Studies. As a result, I've gotten to know them well. In the midst of it all, I know that God has ordained them to continue on their way to the next chapter of their lives. I've been able to witness growth and change in the lives of these 3 young kids and I know they will be a blessing to their adoptive parents and the community where they will live. While they will certainly be missed around CSC, I know they will be loved and cared for by capable and loving parents. I have been able to witness the bond the children have with their adoptive family over Skype and I am eager to see them fit together as a family, in the unique ways God has prepared for them. So while the goodbye may be challenging in the short term, the long term trust and knowledge that God has prepared them for a new life in a different country is what brings comfort and excitement. I know God will continue to work in this family and use both the parents and the children to bring honor and glory to himself.
Hanging out on the Basketball Court
Most of my day is spent working in the office doing HR responsibilities. At the end of the day I look forward to going to the shelter and hanging out with the kids. One of my favorite things to play with them is basketball. Basketball is popular at CSC and you can always find someone playing on the basketball court. I enjoy getting to know the kids through shooting baskets, playing one on one, or a team game. Basketball is always fun at CSC. It’s a great way to end my day!
A Solution
Teacher Cris’ class was working on ordering numbers in math class recently. She had taken her students through the steps of comparing two three-digit numbers to figure out which one was the least and which one was the greatest. They had worked on the skill together using many different number pairs.
Then when it came to independent practice, things got a bit more confusing. Right away one student piped up and said, “The numbers are different!” Teacher Cris reassured the student that the process was the same even if the numbers had changed. She said, “Look at the numbers in the hundreds place value and see if they are the same or different.” And so on.
When Teacher Cris looked up next, the same student was clutching his paper to his chest, walking around the room and singing the worship song 10,000 Reasons:
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship His holy name.
He went back to his seat and continued to work on his math as he sang. Teacher Cris was humbled by her student’s response to his problem. What a sweet reminder to call on God when we need help.
Continuing the Commitment
The past week was a little intense for our inspirational speaker. If you remember, last year Jacob had his launching as an inspirational speaker at Cebu Children of Hope School. He then spoke at one of the local colleges. After a long rest of not giving speeches, Jacob got booked at two different schools last week; Baptist Theological College (BTC) and Southwestern University’s (SWU) Physical and Occupational Therapy Department.
The 3rd and 4th year students and teachers of BTC lingered around after the short program. They told Jacob how blessed they were hearing his testimony. It was an awesome experience not only for Jacob but for Ginda, Joemar and Wilmar who attended the program as well.
Wilmar was asked to give a sample of his singing voice. Without any hesitation, he stood up, grabbed the microphone and sang “One Way.” It was amazing to see him singing with so much confidence. Ginda and Joemar, on the other hand, were surrounded by students and teachers talking and asking them questions.
The 4th and 5th year students at SWU also had a lot of good questions to ask. They were interested to know what kind of physical therapy exercises Jacob receives. Some were also interested to hear more about CSC itself. Others recognized Joemar as a server at a fast food chain. Wilmar graciously sang “Let It Go” from the movie Frozen.
The therapy department at CSC continues to do its best to pursue this endeavor—exposing our special needs kids to the community and in turn teaching the community through this effort. Keep us in your prayers as we look for new avenues for these special needs young adults.