Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Books Galore!
During the summer months two retiring teachers and one charter school donated a BUNCH of books to the shelter and school. What a windfall! About 850 books (500 lbs!) were boxed and sent to Cebu in early August. All five boxes arrived intact at Children of Hope School in late September. We had a lot of excited kids and teachers when they saw all of the new (to us) books.
About half of the books went into the house mini-libraries at the shelter so the kids have new books to read at home. One fourth were added to the mini-libraries in each of the classrooms at school for the kids to read during the school day. And one fourth were catalogued into the school library so the kids can check them out from the library.
We are so thankful to the individuals and school who thought of CSC and CCHS for their donations of all the great books. There are a lot of happy readers!
Hibiscus
Hibiscus are blooming outside the school library windows. Gold, yellow, red, pink, and white. These vibrant tropical plants flourish in this hot, humid climate. In colder environs like Minnesota where I live most of the year, some people buy potted hibiscus plants in the summer and nurture them along outside before maybe trying to keep them alive during the winter months inside. But here in Cebu they grow like weeds into lush large plants that bloom almost constantly.
I guess that is sort of like what we do with a lot of things in life. We nurture some things along that need more attention and we leave other things alone. And that changes over time. People, projects, jobs.
Sometimes it’s a bit tricky to know exactly how to tend to or nurture a person or situation. It takes prayer, teamwork and wisdom. Lately some kids have needed more attention during school hours as they wrestle with making choices in positive ways. I guess that’s s bit like Uncle Al (in the green hat) tending to the hibiscus plants. A little pruning here, a little pruning there. Something we all need every now and then.
Can it be?
Can it really be that Carmelita Baya will not be working for CSC in a few weeks? Since 1985 she has been an integral part of our team here in Cebu. She is the first Social Worker we ever hired, and has been such a strong and vital advocate for our children for 31 years. She has traveled throughout the Philippines in managing the cases of our children. She has escorted children to the United States and been to Japan to represent CSC. Everywhere she goes she exudes love for our children and dedication and perseverance. So many of our children are in families today because of the work of Carmelita. For the past months she has been mentoring our new social workers who will strive to carry on the tradition of quality that she brought to CSC. She has so much knowledge and experience that it will be impossible to replace her. We thank dear Carmelita for all her great work over the years. She has inspired all of us here in Cebu.
A Very Special Event
The night of the 23rd day of September was a special one for everyone at Cebu Children of Hope School. It was full of excitement and laughter. Teachers and students gathered together at the shelter for the Reading Challenge Culminating Activity. It started with games followed by the awarding of contest winners, s’mores-making and punch drinking.
The highlight of the event was the awarding time. The winners received books as their prize and all the students who met the reading goals got to throw a whip cream pie at their teacher’s face. It was REALLY fun for everyone, especially the students. It was also a GREAT experience for the teachers. This year’s Reading Challenge was a SUCCESS!
Advocasy
When we take in children at CSC we become important advocates for them. We advocate for them in government offices, courtrooms and with social workers and others who have the power to decide whether they will be given the chance to be adopted. We attend meetings, write letters and affadavits and travel all around the Philippines in support of the children under our care. Our social workers, in handling the case management for them, are equal parts lawyers, counselors, writers and interveners. They work with the birth families, solicit support and cooperation from officials in the communities where they live, gather information, file birth registrations, write social case studies and letters, and attend many, many meetings.
We recently hired two new workers for our social work department. Neither Catherine nor Mardie came to us with exerience in our type of cases. Very few agencies do pre-adoptive case management, so there has been much for them to learn about the legal and procedural requirements in preparing our children's papers for legal adoption. Luckily, we have two veteran social workers, Carmelita and Chris, who have many years of experience advocating for CSC children. Carmelita is soon to retire so it becomes very important for CSC that she spend time mentoring our young and inexperienced social workers in the "tricks of the trade."
The head of our Social Work Department is Klaris, who is also new to CSC, though she has lots of experience as a social worker. She is learning very fast, and does much of the editing of case studies, serves as the liaison with government offices and assigns cases to our social workers.
Please pray for our Social Work team as they advocate for our children in many different ways and settings. They are on the front lines of service to our children and represent all of us with the people who have a lot of influence over their lives. They need perseverance, insight, tact, commitment, patience and lots of compassion for the needs of our precious kids.