“Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story. Who you choose to be.” --Soothsayer, Kung Fu Panda 2
“I didn’t see my mother nor my father. I haven’t met them. No picture. No memories. I’ve been raised by strangers.”
“If only my father was gentle to my mother. They could have stayed together and we might not be here.”
“My mother left me. She even never said goodbye. I don’t know the reason.”
“The couple who fostered me and gave me home have shattered the very idea of home.”
Beginning. Once upon a time.
These are the stories of the beginnings of some of the older residents in CSC. Flipping the pages of their lives into the past would take a lot of courage and relationship. Some chose to seal those pages; while others are open about their once-upon-a-times. In counseling, children often share about their days, their dreams, as well as their past. For a child to paint these stories allows us to help them craft their life story.
“Life story is essential in developing one’s personality, values, and meaning. It’s the integration of reconstructed past and imagined future to provide life with some degree of unity and purpose.” --McAdams & McLean, Narrative Identity, 2013
Although this process may resurface the phantoms of the past, it helps the older resident embrace his/her whole story. By embracing his/her painful once-upon-a-time, it paves the way to acceptance and forgiveness. For some older residents, it was a privilege to hear them express how they acknowledge that no matter how painful their past was, it happened, it happened, it happened. It happened and they saw the collateral beauty of that pain. They are here. They are here with people who love them; who cares for them; who believes in them; who brought back the cape of their childhood; who gives them wings to soar the new horizon.
As our older residents navigate the new waters of independent living, they are more open to building bridges to their past. For some, they have birth families that they can return to; while others are starting to put together the pieces of their beginning. Their new journey is a navigation of mirth and melancholy; hopes and despair; and success and failures. They are now in the process of writing the new chapter, or perhaps, the sequel of their stories. Seeing the collateral beauty, they now have the power to restructure their future and have the power to direct their own narrative— narrative of an iridescent hope.
The Waiting Game
The other day Marlys and I were waiting to talk to Jenny's doctor. We had been told that she was in and that we could see her at 3:00. We waited and waited. It wasn't until 4:50 that we finally were able to see the doctor, after almost two hours of agonizing boredom.
As I was sitting there on the hard bench, I thought about Marlys, and the hundreds and thousands of hours that she has spent waiting in doctors' offices, laboroatories, hospital rooms and various other waiting rooms over the years. The number of times that she waited for several hours would be too many to count. Most doctors in the Philippines do not take appointments, so its first come, first served. And many times the doctors get delayed and are very late in arriving. Another factor is that we have always tried to provide our children with the very best doctors available in Cebu City. And these quality doctors are usually the busiest. So she often had to wait. Sometimes for most of a day. These days we have several nurses on our medical team that can share the waiting time. But Marlys still is one of our "waiters," sitting in crowded and noisy waiting rooms, holding babies or trying to keep active children occupied. She does it for the sake of these kids, and I'm amazed at how she has been able to do that for all these years.
A few minutes at CSC
The best time to visit CSC is between 3:30 pm (kids get out of school) and 5:00 pm (the bells ring for the kids to do chores or go in the house for bathtime and getting ready for supper.) If you are here between these times you will see a yard full of kids doing an amazing number of different things. It never ceases to impress me how many things can be going on in our playground at one time!
I took a few minutes to take some photos this afternoon. I know I missed some of the action but we had kids busy playing with basketballs, soccerballs, foam bats and baseballs, frisbees, playing the infamous "rubber band game", catching bugs, swinging, climbing, practising their gymnastic skills, biking, taking some time to be alone, visiting, and last, but certainly not least, trying to decide if a tantrum was in order or not....
Spoiler alert - apparently it was.
The History of Wishing
We've got a great history of wishing at CSC. Even before web sites, Amazon.com and e-mail announcements, we had lots of things that we wanted for the ministry. It was just that we didn't have a way to make those wishes known to lots of people - certainly not in a timely way. We usually just put an occasional blurb in our quarterly newsletter or mentioned these things in personal letters to our families and friends.
It has been fun watching how people have responded to our special projects list on our CSC website. But this isn't just a recent phenomenon. Since the very beginning of the ministry we have seen people respond in amazing ways to the things that we have needed and wanted:
- Way back in 1980 Sandy mentioned in a letter to her family that we really could use a vehicle to get around in. We were starting to take in kids with medical and mobility needs, and public transportion was not working well for us. Sandy's brothers responded by providing the money for us to buy a brand new Ford Fiera jeep. It lasted us for more than 20 years!
- Shortly thereafter, one of our board members was visiting Cebu and he noticed how badly we needed another bathroom. Perhaps he had to stand in line with the kids and staff to use the one bathroom that we had in our only home. We figured that we would need $1,000 to build a new one, and when he got back to Minnesota the money had already been donated!
- As our ministry grew, our list of supporters also grew. Our stateside office was in need of some software to help us manage our address list and keep track of donations. Software was very expensive in those days, but a dear friend of CSC gave $6,000 so we could get the very best software available at the time.
- Another time, a generous supporter asked us to make a wish list of items that were not on our budget, but that we felt would really help the ministry. We made a pretty long list of things, including recreational equipment, a computer, a vehicle, books and bunch of other items. After receiving the list he told us that he would buy everything on the list!
- We had a visit several years ago from a supporter who lives in Manila. He asked us to name a current need for the school. Shari Reasoner thought for a few minutes and mentioned some curriculum needs at the school. When pressed for an amount, she made a educated guess of $11,000. Our friend said he'd double that amount!
- We were invited to join a baseball league in the city but we didn't have any gloves, bats, or other equipment. A supporter who loved our kids and baseball saw to that need, and donated everything we needed to outfit a team. And a generous lady in Cebu had fancy Twins uniforms made for us for free! We were the best looking team in the league.
- The mere mention of the need for things like a televisions/VCR, growth hormone medications and wheelchairs resulted in donations of each of these items. One lady heard that we needed a wringer washing machine and she gave us hers and had it shipped to Cebu! One short-term missionary had come out with two computers, huge portable units that were the most streamlined models available back in that day. When he went back to the States he left one of them for us. Need any musical instruments? Well, a xylophone would be great. Ok, I'll send you one!
Each step of the way, for 34 years, God has given us the basic needs of the ministry, and the desires of our hearts for special things that have enabled us to offer our children the very best care possible. We have had a long history of wishing, and seeing those wishes fulfilled by generous friends who hear and respond.
Teacher Tam
Tammy Vosika is closing out her time at Children of Hope School after teaching here for eight years. Tammy started at CCHS in June of 2005, but her relationship with CSC started a long time before that. She had visited CSC a number of times and her family adopted four brothers in the late 90s, so she had deep connections before even starting her teaching time in Cebu. Now she is leaving, heading back to Minnesota to start a new chapter in her life. Wow! Will she be missed!
Tammy has touched hundreds of kids' lives throughout her time here (she counted about 250 kids have passed through the doors during the time she has worked in Cebu), but Tammy has made the biggest impression on the older kids. Tammy taught in level C (grades 4-6), so she had the kids as they studied the harder stuff at the elementary level and as they headed into their teenage years. She taught American Studies to the kids after they were matched with their forever families, contributing to the kids' transitions to their new country. Tammy became known as the cool science teacher. Truth be told, Tammy was terrified to teach science at first, but she grew to really enjoy it and she helped develop the curriculum for our school.
Tammy is a fun person and she loves games, so she often has been the one to encourage the school staff or kids to try a new game. Tammy's gentle spirit has been an encouragement to her fellow teachers. Her pure love for the children has been evident each day. Thank you, Tammy. God's peace to you as you go...
Opening up
Our kids have been opening up a lot lately. A dental team from Lindstrom, Minnesota has been here taking care of their teeth, and it has been an interesting time of bravery, fear, trembling and lots of hard work. Dentist and great friend of CSC Matt Struve, reports that they treated 250 teeth, with fillings and extractions, and cleaned the teeth of most of the children. All in all Dr. Struve and his team did thousands of dollars of free dental work and blessed us all with their compassion, generosity and friendship. On their last night at CSC, Matt gave demonstrations to the kids and staff on proper brushing technique, and gave out awards in three categories: Clean Mouth Club, Bravest and Most Helpful. Many thanks to Matt Struve, his son, Evan, and his two assistants, Anne Renaker and Brenda Birk. Anne, Brenda and the Struves attend Lakes Evangelical Free Church in Lindstrom.
Check out some additional photos posted by Matt Struve.