They said that time heals. True. However, time alone could not do all the stitches. Most of the children here in CSC have a myriad of wounds to heal from their past. A wound on their knees would only take a week to heal but a wound made when no one helped them to get up would take years, a hundred of CSC outings, and relationships. Some have spent most of their childhood here. And that's a lot of time yet most of them are still haunted by the ghosts of their past— the phantom of neglect, rejection, abandonment, and the monstrous impact of separation from their significant others. Time is not enough.
I've been working with these children for three years and I've witnessed how these ghosts have influenced their behaviors and perspective of their own selves and their lives. Despite these, I've also observed how the love and care provided by the houseparents, aunties (caregivers), and other staff in CSC have greatly lessened the grip of these ghosts in their lives. Because of this, children have retaken the cape of their childhood. Trust has sprouted again and has blossomed into friendship and family. It is truly magical to witness how a child trusts an adult again. A positive and healthy relationship is, for me, the greatest healing the child could have. In counseling, we highly value relationships as this always precedes any counseling techniques. Although it has always been a challenge gaining the children's trust, art has paved the way for us, counselors, to see and hear their stories. It has been a great tool for us to deal with resistant children in counseling. Art allows the child to express himself/herself in ways he/she is most comfortable to. It allows the child to "reflect their inner worlds, depicting various feelings" (Malchiodi, 1998). Art helps the children share their stories to us in a non-threatening way. It allows the child to have full control of their creation. Painting, drawing, music, and photography are the usual art modalities chosen by the boys.
The pictures above are just some of the ways to utilize art in helping children become aware of the ghosts of their past. Some, especially the older ones, have slowly faced their past in a more positive and hopeful way. I am hoping that the time they spend here in CSC would help them see the collateral beauty in pain.
They said that time heals. True. It is true but time is not enough to do all the stitches. Instead, time allows our crushed spirit to get up; to acknowledge pain and becomes familiar to it; to understand that our pain has an ending; to have relationships blossom; to ignite a new dream; to see that all along God has been stirring the wheel. And time helps the children to better understand that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28, NKJV).
Gifts for a King
Christmas is coming! All of the children are becoming more excited as each day passes. During Christmas, we remember the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ. We think about giving and receiving gifts as we remember the most precious Gift to this world.
Each of the students at the Children of Hope School were asked what they want to give Jesus for Christmas. Here are a few of their responses:
"Dear Jesus, My gift for you Jesus is I will dance."
"Dear Jesus, My gift for you is a flower."
"I will give Jesus my heart."
"Dear Jesus, I will give my love to you."
"I will give Jesus a house."
"love my friends"
"Dear Jesus, I will honor you with my voice."
"obey the teachers"
"I will give Jesus my life. I will also give Him my talent to draw."
"My gift for Jesus is I want to be a missionary and to spread the word of God."
"I will give Jesus a crown."
Thanksgiving Season All Year Long
Our Thanksgiving celebration has come and gone, but giving thanks at CSC is not done. We have so much to be thankful for every day. We give thanks for the opportunities we have to be a part of each child’s life that comes through our doors. We give thanks that we can be God’s hands and feet to do the things we do each day for the children. And most of all, we give thanks for the families who make our children a part of their own family through adoption.
A week ago, Mitch and I had the opportunity to host Thanksgiving dinner at our home for the staff and some of the children from the shelter. Before we ate, Mitch asked everyone to share one or two things we were grateful for. One child said she was thankful for life. One can just imagine what her life would be like if her parents had not entrusted her and her siblings to CSC’s care. Another child, one of the winners in the turkey coloring contest, was shy to say what she was thankful for. But everybody knew she was thankful for her adoptive family whose pictures she had just received a few days before.
Yesterday we said goodbye to a handsome two-year-old boy. He came to CSC when he was just six days old. Everyone, especially the aunties and uncle in his home, will surely miss his laughter, screams of joy, and affectionate hugs. We will miss him calling us, using the last syllables of our names. But the joy of knowing he is now a part of a family that loves and trusts God beats the sadness of saying and waving goodbye.
Thank you, Lord, for the miracles of families You are blessing our children with!
What's in a Name?
Heart, a new girl, came to the shelter the other day and I was immediately struck by her name. It’s different. And it seems like there might be a story behind the name. I wonder what it is.
There is often a reason behind why a name is chosen for a child. Maybe you know the story behind your name. Sometimes parents just liked the name. Sometimes it was chosen to remember a family member or carry on a tradition. Other times a name is picked for its meaning.
Of course, most of the kids at CSC have names already when they arrive at the shelter. The variety of the names is kind of fascinating. There are plenty of “normal” names like Grace, Cris, Mark, Carlo, Hannah, Raphael, and Juliet. There are also names that are a bit more unusual or less common like Chosar, Trexie, Jemarie, and Lerma. Many families in the Philippines seem to like to name children using alliteration, so there have been lots of sibling groups with names all starting with the same first letter like seven kids with all “M” names, six kids with all “J” names. Then there is the fairly common practice of naming twins with the same or very similar first names and different second names like Nina Kylie and Nina Kaye or Marky and Marty with the accent on the second syllable.
Some of the babies are named after arriving at the shelter because they do not have a name yet. Sometimes, if a child has been abandoned, we do not know the full name and are unsuccessful in finding out the child’s name. Princess Apple got her name because she was found on a boat bearing that name. One little boy knew his first name, but not his last name and efforts to find out proved unsuccessful, so he was given the last name of Maxilom for the street where he was found. One girl told me she liked her name a lot because it was a combination of her birth parents’ first names.
Names have stories behind them, reasons why a name was chosen for a child. Our names make us unique. I wonder what the story is behind Heart’s name.
CSC's Cornucopia
Webster defines a cornucopia as "a curved goat's horn overflowing with fruit and ears of grain that is used as a decorative motif emblematic of abundance." For most of our children, the concept of abundance is a foreign one. They grew up always on the deficit side of things, not having enough food, clothing, safety, medicine, shelter, love. Abundance was something that the rich people had. Their cornucopia was "overflowing." They had more than they needed while our kids struggled to stay alive.
At CSC, these same kids have experienced abundance in ways they never dreamed possible. Enough food, enough clean water, enough safety, attention and love. What a miracle! Our dear supporters are God's agents of abundance at CSC. In our 37 years of ministry in Cebu we have never missed a single meal for our kids!That is hundreds of thousands of meals without a disruption. And we have never had to deny any CSC child needed medicines or medical care. Never. Thanks to the faithful giving and praying of our CSC family, we have had a cornucopia of blessings to share with children who need us so very much.
Thanks to all who have given to CSC out of their abundance over the years. Thanks for making a huge difference in the lives of so many kids. Happy Thanksgiving.
Donor retirement
CSC has experienced the retirement of Sandy Swanson recently, and some of our Filipino staff have also retired. Others will be coming to retirement soon. It is very evident to our staff and board of directors that we need to find new staff to replace those who will be ending their time with CSC, so recruitment is an important task.
But it isn't just staff who are retiring. Often I hear from faithful supporters who tell me that they have retired from their jobs, are on a fixed income, and cannot continue to give at the level they could while they were still working. As our donors age, this will be a more common situation. So just as with our staff situation, donor recruitment will be a crucial activity for the ministry if we are to make it into the future. We must find new donors who can help us compensate for those whose giving is curtailed by retirement.
Pray with us that this will happen. And if you have any leads on people who might be interested in our ministry to homeless children in the Philippines, let Matt or Jill from our stateside office know.