"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: "I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write." Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to "give away" on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches."
"Oh that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll..."
JOB 19:23 (NIV)
https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/writing-reveals-what-is-alive-in-us/
I don't write for the CSC blog all that often, but I thought it was interesting that the above devotion came to my email inbox just a little over a week ago. It makes me think that what I write down is a deeper expression of not only what is in my mind, but what is in my heart. I'm grateful for those who choose to read our updates and trust that you will find a nugget somewhere in all this to apply to your own lives.
Another school year has begun at CSC at our Cebu Children of Hope School. I received some pictures over the last couple of weeks that seem like priceless classics to commemorate the beginning of our school year. Much like last year, our school is adapting to new spaces where our kids learn in order to keep them safe and sheltered from the effects of the pandemic. Our actual school building is still being used as a quarantine facility for teachers and other employees who are rotating in an out of the shelter.
["My Hopes and Dreams": Don't you just want to know what he's writing for his hopes and dreams?]
[If you are able, Zoom in on the computer screen. Can't you just imagine what these kids are saying they're looking forward to at the beginning of the school year?]
Jesus' words from Matthew chapter 7 are at the heart of why we do what we do. Jesus says, "'Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'" We believe that God has far greater gifts to give to us and our CSC kids, and we will do our best to continue to give all that we have for their care, including their education.
The pandemic continues to rage on in Cebu with daily cases at all-time highs, even compared to last year. We had hoped to pull back on our restrictions, but that won't be able to occur until more of our employees have been vaccinated. The vaccines are coming to Cebu, but they are slow in coming with only a few doses available to our employees each week. Please continue to pray with us for good health and safety.
Grace and Peace,
Kirby Stoll
P.S. It is my honor to be able to write periodically for our CSC blog. It is my hope that these words and the words from all those who share from time to time will draw you in to the amazing work we get to do at CSC and that your relationship with the Lord will be strengthened. Learn more about CSC at https://cebushelter.org.
These are your friends, too.
The last time I was in Cebu I brought a picture with me to give one of our children, a little girl in our Duterte Home. She has lived at CSC since June, 2011 with her two brothers. They came out of extreme poverty, and have made great strides in our care.
The picture I carried was from a group that sponsors this little one as a part of our Foster Friends program. They contribute a monthly amount to provide care for her as a partner of CSC. We have families and individuals who do so through Foster Friends, and in this case, we have a Kiwanis club who gives love across the ocean.
She was in awe of the picture as I explained who this group of people were to her. I had recently spoken to the group and gave them an update on their sponsored child. What a privledge it was to pass along a picture from them and tell this little girl, "all these people care about you." Her eyes lit up and she held the picture with great care as she scanned the faces of the people who give something of themselves to love her. Here she is proudly displaying the photo with two of her friends.
Every day the children at CSC see people who love them: the auntie helping them dress, the house parent leading devotions and the teacher answering a question. There are many people acting as the hands and feet of Jesus in Cebu. And, there are people all over the world making up those hands and feet along with them. What an honor it was to witness one of our CSC kids getting a glimpse of them.
The best kind of visitors
Actually these are not visitors, but family members coming back home. We have a fairly constant flow of visitors coming to CSC, we have people who find us online and want to visit to see if we are who we say we are, we have supporters who make a once in a life time journey to see where their money has been going all these years, we have adoptive families coming to claim their long awaited son and/or daughters from us, many other mission groups in Cebu enjoy bringing their visitors to see us, we have our own biological family members come to visit…the list goes on and on.
The best kind of visitors for all of us is when our own CSC KIDS come back home to CSC. This has been happening a lot and is always a wonderful time.
Siblings Joe, Roxanne and Carlo are here with us now! They left us for adoption 11 years ago and are back to visit us as well as their birth family. We also have Erna, another one of our own CSC kids back here working in our school for a couple of months. We all love seeing our kids come back, but it is an extra special blessing for all the CSC aunties and uncles to see the kids return. I get to see many of our CSC kids when I am in the States, but our Filipino aunties and uncles only get to see the kids if they return here. It is so fun to see their faces when they see the kids that they cared for many years ago back in the home that they lived in while at CSC. It was hard for them to say goodbye many years ago. These kids return visit helps our aunties and uncles to be able to continue caring for the kids here now, and to keep saying goodbye…we need our CSC kids to keep coming back!
We have had lots of kids come back, some of the things that they remember are precious, some are embarrassing and some are just plain funny. I only recently learned that Joemar (who has lived with us almost 30 years) was the willing recipient of quite a few of the kid’s vegetables; no wonder everyone loved Joemar; he was eating their vegetables for them! We have certainly noticed common reactions and comments for kids coming back; we hear many things like ”I remember the playground being bigger than this!” and “I am taller than the aunties, did they shrink?”
What a blessing our CSC kids are…we hope they keep coming back home to visit!
We're Off!
We have about forty-five minutes left in the first day of school. Whew! The kids came this morning with new hair cuts and new shoes, all spruced up for the occasion. Of course, the kids were wondering who their teachers were going to be in the morning and afternoon classes. "Who is Teacher Lyrah?" "Who do I have for Civics?" After the kids went home for lunch, the teachers breathed a collective sigh, thankful the morning had gone relatively well. With six new teachers, that was a good sign. The day has not been perfect with one minor disagreement between two boys and a couple of scheduling snafus, but everyone seems happy to be here. Carpe diem!
Shared Birthday
I know many of you readers are quite familiar with birthday parties and how CSC works to make each child feel special on their big day. Did you know that staff often feels special as well when they celebrate their birthdays?
I definitely felt that last night as it was my birthday!
I share a birthday with these two ladies and enjoyed my time with them. My family is also visiting and they were able to share in the birthday party, which made for a very special night for me! There’s really nothing like being able to celebrate your birthday with a bunch of kids AND your family on the other side of the world. I was greeted by many kids and heard echoes shouting through the playground as we walked up of “Happy Birthday Auntie Megan!” I received numerous hugs and even a card with a poem!
As I reflected back on this time and think about the various and heart wrenching life situations the kids came from, I’m humbled by how they are joyful beyond measure. The kids are kids. They know how to play, run, learn, and explore even though they may not have had that opportunity before coming to CSC. They also have an uncanny way of making adults feel special, whether or not its their birthday. Almost anytime I’m hanging around with the kids, a hug or a greeting is one of the best things I receive. Acceptance and love exudes from their demeanors, and that was true even last night as these twins shared their birthday celebration. It takes a special personality for some kids to be excited about sharing the lime-light with an adult and well, these girls are definitely set apart and special!
I may never have another birthday like this one due to the fact that I’m living in the Philippines and experiencing life in a new way. I am joyful and grateful that God placed me here for this time in my life and that he has allowed me to experience the joy and love of these children!
Sly Smiles and Fake Tears
Most of the kids at CSC speak some level of English which is great for me because I don’t speak much Cebuano. I’ve noticed that when one of the kids doesn’t want to answer a question or try to figure out how to say something to me in English, they appear to forget how to speak it altogether. They know I get lost in that language and they can usually squirm out of a question like “Did you just get called inside for bath time?”
The children here are very well behaved so this isn’t a huge issue, but I’m pretty sure a cute little kid smile and my lack of language skills have gotten me conned into letting a few youngsters get away with something they probably shouldn’t have.
I was playing around with a number of the kids the other day. We were running, chasing, playing tag, and giving piggyback rides. We were having a great time. At one point my friend here started stomping around and was beginning to speak loudly in whiny, mumbly half Cebuano half English. I knew she wanted a piggyback ride but I didn’t want to reinforce her behavior. In an unusual moment of how-to-deal-with-little-kid clarity I got down to her level and said “Please stop whining and tell me what you want”.
It was incredible…in about 2 seconds the embellished poor-me behavior stopped. No more stomping, she opened the squinting eyes that were trying to produce tears and in perfectly clear English she said that she would like a piggyback ride. I thanked her and she rode off all smiles and joy (I had to ask her to stop screaming in my ear though)!
I get blown away at moments like that; when I can step aside from the look on a child's face and realize that sometimes its a false indignation meant to produce a result! I'm sure the practiced parents out there are laughing at my lack of skill here but it is clear to me that while I may be the adult, it’s usually the 4 year olds that have me figured out. At least, every now and then, I can peak around the curtain and realize how much I have to learn!