In this season marked by gift giving and receiving, I've been reflecting about a significant gift that I received earlier this year. In July, I travelled to the Philippines and had the opportunity to spend 6 days visiting CSC.
While I've had connections to CSC for almost 15 years, this was my first actual trip there – not for lack of desire to have made the trip earlier, but working within the realities of parenting and being an at-home mom with our 4 young kids. Being there was, of course, amazing, and a true gift. The life-giving ministry that takes place there came alive for me in a whole new way. I don't want to lose that deepened sense of connectedness that I brought back to Minnesota with me, and as part of that desire to hold onto connection I recently revisited some of the journaling that I'd done during my week at CSC. I'd like to share a few excerpts from my journal with you – in hopes that you also will feel a rekindled sense of connectedness to the truly life-altering work that takes place every day, hour by hour and minute by minute at CSC.
From our first day at the shelter – Wednesday, July 19th
It is emotional to be here with the kids! To see little babies who don't belong to anyone-yet here belong to everyone, sweet toddlers who remind me of Berit (our 2 year old daughter) who have already lost someone for a lifetime, preschoolers coming close or slipping in a hand to be held who don't know what it's like to be someone's child, busy elementary schoolers curiously and boldly saying hello – their life stories already so complicated, and tall, growing-up pre-teens who act like they are at camp, yet don't have family to return home to. I've gotten lots of tears welling up in my eyes – for the kids, when seeing Paul being tender and familiar with kids of all ages, and in thinking about life and all of its complexity. So thankful to be here, and so aware that life can be hard.
From Thursday, July 20th
I've seen lots of poverty today while driving, especially on the city tour with Marlys. It's so surreal to drive by it and then to be done with it, while it is remains someone's total life and story. I like to imagine that all of the kids I see who are way too close to the moving cars in the street have a parent close by, or that they are just going for a walk, but I know that isn't true. Especially aware today of CSC as a SHELTER.
From Tuesday, July 25th
CSC is impressive. The physical campus, the stories behind the campus coming to be, the contrast for the kids between what was and what is – as well as new potential for what might be, the many aunties and uncles, the holistic set up that addresses so many important parts of each child's experience, the team of leaders that is both forward thinking and evaluative... and of course the kids themselves. I'm struck today by the RESILIENCY of the kids. Each child here carries with them a heavy, heart-breaking story, but they keep going.
While on the airplane as I journeyed home, as part of my processing of the days at CSC, I made two lists in my journal. One of the lists was titled "Hard Things", and the other was titled "Joyful Things". I'll share a few of the items that were part of each list.
Hard Things – Hearing kids who had been matched for adoption talk about where they would be going when they joined their new families (Australia, Tennessee, Italy), knowing that other kids listening had no adoption plan. Seeing endearing, funny, smart and talented older kids who don't have much time left until their adoption window closes – knowing that their amazing personalities could never be captured on paper and that their age would likely be what would speak loudest to potential adoptive families. Wondering if the CSC kids were wondering if I was "sizing them up" and considering the possibility of adding them to our family, and even choosing what to say about themselves based on that. Thinking about how quickly childhood passes, and "biding time" while waiting for a family. Hearing babies cry and seeing toddlers sitting in highchairs... even when being carefully tended to by aunties, as Paul would say, "It's not the same as being in a family."
Joyful Things – Bright smiles and sparkling brown eyes. Hearing the house parents lead the kids in devotions before breakfast and after dinner. Listening to the kids sing songs of worship – the sound of their voices floating out from the homes and through the campus. Seeing the kids smartly dressed in their matching school uniforms and getting to walk with them up the hill to school. Visiting Jacob and Ginda's rooms, specially created for them, and seeing how CSC is absolutely committed to them as valued family members. Getting to pray a prayer of thanks and blessing with the overnight workers one night as they started their shift. Being surrounded by a group of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls who just wanted to hang out and talk. Genuinely feeling that there are capable, thoughtful leaders in place. Seeing the employees call out, hug and playfully tease the kids. Sensing real openness from the staff to work together for the children.
Those are some excerpts from my CSC experience. It was truly such a gift to be able to spend those 6 days in July immersed in the daily life of CSC. I'm grateful in a deeper, broader way for this ministry as I'm reminded of both hard and joyful parts of CSC. As a CSC board member, I am especially thankful for the community that supports CSC. To know that children's lives are being changed each day is truly amazing and inspiring, and I'm so thankful for all of you who make that possible!
These are your friends, too.
The last time I was in Cebu I brought a picture with me to give one of our children, a little girl in our Duterte Home. She has lived at CSC since June, 2011 with her two brothers. They came out of extreme poverty, and have made great strides in our care.
The picture I carried was from a group that sponsors this little one as a part of our Foster Friends program. They contribute a monthly amount to provide care for her as a partner of CSC. We have families and individuals who do so through Foster Friends, and in this case, we have a Kiwanis club who gives love across the ocean.
She was in awe of the picture as I explained who this group of people were to her. I had recently spoken to the group and gave them an update on their sponsored child. What a privledge it was to pass along a picture from them and tell this little girl, "all these people care about you." Her eyes lit up and she held the picture with great care as she scanned the faces of the people who give something of themselves to love her. Here she is proudly displaying the photo with two of her friends.
Every day the children at CSC see people who love them: the auntie helping them dress, the house parent leading devotions and the teacher answering a question. There are many people acting as the hands and feet of Jesus in Cebu. And, there are people all over the world making up those hands and feet along with them. What an honor it was to witness one of our CSC kids getting a glimpse of them.
The best kind of visitors
Actually these are not visitors, but family members coming back home. We have a fairly constant flow of visitors coming to CSC, we have people who find us online and want to visit to see if we are who we say we are, we have supporters who make a once in a life time journey to see where their money has been going all these years, we have adoptive families coming to claim their long awaited son and/or daughters from us, many other mission groups in Cebu enjoy bringing their visitors to see us, we have our own biological family members come to visit…the list goes on and on.
The best kind of visitors for all of us is when our own CSC KIDS come back home to CSC. This has been happening a lot and is always a wonderful time.
Siblings Joe, Roxanne and Carlo are here with us now! They left us for adoption 11 years ago and are back to visit us as well as their birth family. We also have Erna, another one of our own CSC kids back here working in our school for a couple of months. We all love seeing our kids come back, but it is an extra special blessing for all the CSC aunties and uncles to see the kids return. I get to see many of our CSC kids when I am in the States, but our Filipino aunties and uncles only get to see the kids if they return here. It is so fun to see their faces when they see the kids that they cared for many years ago back in the home that they lived in while at CSC. It was hard for them to say goodbye many years ago. These kids return visit helps our aunties and uncles to be able to continue caring for the kids here now, and to keep saying goodbye…we need our CSC kids to keep coming back!
We have had lots of kids come back, some of the things that they remember are precious, some are embarrassing and some are just plain funny. I only recently learned that Joemar (who has lived with us almost 30 years) was the willing recipient of quite a few of the kid’s vegetables; no wonder everyone loved Joemar; he was eating their vegetables for them! We have certainly noticed common reactions and comments for kids coming back; we hear many things like ”I remember the playground being bigger than this!” and “I am taller than the aunties, did they shrink?”
What a blessing our CSC kids are…we hope they keep coming back home to visit!
We're Off!
We have about forty-five minutes left in the first day of school. Whew! The kids came this morning with new hair cuts and new shoes, all spruced up for the occasion. Of course, the kids were wondering who their teachers were going to be in the morning and afternoon classes. "Who is Teacher Lyrah?" "Who do I have for Civics?" After the kids went home for lunch, the teachers breathed a collective sigh, thankful the morning had gone relatively well. With six new teachers, that was a good sign. The day has not been perfect with one minor disagreement between two boys and a couple of scheduling snafus, but everyone seems happy to be here. Carpe diem!
Shared Birthday
I know many of you readers are quite familiar with birthday parties and how CSC works to make each child feel special on their big day. Did you know that staff often feels special as well when they celebrate their birthdays?
I definitely felt that last night as it was my birthday!
I share a birthday with these two ladies and enjoyed my time with them. My family is also visiting and they were able to share in the birthday party, which made for a very special night for me! There’s really nothing like being able to celebrate your birthday with a bunch of kids AND your family on the other side of the world. I was greeted by many kids and heard echoes shouting through the playground as we walked up of “Happy Birthday Auntie Megan!” I received numerous hugs and even a card with a poem!
As I reflected back on this time and think about the various and heart wrenching life situations the kids came from, I’m humbled by how they are joyful beyond measure. The kids are kids. They know how to play, run, learn, and explore even though they may not have had that opportunity before coming to CSC. They also have an uncanny way of making adults feel special, whether or not its their birthday. Almost anytime I’m hanging around with the kids, a hug or a greeting is one of the best things I receive. Acceptance and love exudes from their demeanors, and that was true even last night as these twins shared their birthday celebration. It takes a special personality for some kids to be excited about sharing the lime-light with an adult and well, these girls are definitely set apart and special!
I may never have another birthday like this one due to the fact that I’m living in the Philippines and experiencing life in a new way. I am joyful and grateful that God placed me here for this time in my life and that he has allowed me to experience the joy and love of these children!
Sly Smiles and Fake Tears
Most of the kids at CSC speak some level of English which is great for me because I don’t speak much Cebuano. I’ve noticed that when one of the kids doesn’t want to answer a question or try to figure out how to say something to me in English, they appear to forget how to speak it altogether. They know I get lost in that language and they can usually squirm out of a question like “Did you just get called inside for bath time?”
The children here are very well behaved so this isn’t a huge issue, but I’m pretty sure a cute little kid smile and my lack of language skills have gotten me conned into letting a few youngsters get away with something they probably shouldn’t have.
I was playing around with a number of the kids the other day. We were running, chasing, playing tag, and giving piggyback rides. We were having a great time. At one point my friend here started stomping around and was beginning to speak loudly in whiny, mumbly half Cebuano half English. I knew she wanted a piggyback ride but I didn’t want to reinforce her behavior. In an unusual moment of how-to-deal-with-little-kid clarity I got down to her level and said “Please stop whining and tell me what you want”.
It was incredible…in about 2 seconds the embellished poor-me behavior stopped. No more stomping, she opened the squinting eyes that were trying to produce tears and in perfectly clear English she said that she would like a piggyback ride. I thanked her and she rode off all smiles and joy (I had to ask her to stop screaming in my ear though)!
I get blown away at moments like that; when I can step aside from the look on a child's face and realize that sometimes its a false indignation meant to produce a result! I'm sure the practiced parents out there are laughing at my lack of skill here but it is clear to me that while I may be the adult, it’s usually the 4 year olds that have me figured out. At least, every now and then, I can peak around the curtain and realize how much I have to learn!