Staff Blog
In this season marked by gift giving and receiving, I've been reflecting about a significant gift that I received earlier this year. In July, I travelled to the Philippines and had the opportunity to spend 6 days visiting CSC.
While I've had connections to CSC for almost 15 years, this was my first actual trip there – not for lack of desire to have made the trip earlier, but working within the realities of parenting and being an at-home mom with our 4 young kids. Being there was, of course, amazing, and a true gift. The life-giving ministry that takes place there came alive for me in a whole new way. I don't want to lose that deepened sense of connectedness that I brought back to Minnesota with me, and as part of that desire to hold onto connection I recently revisited some of the journaling that I'd done during my week at CSC. I'd like to share a few excerpts from my journal with you – in hopes that you also will feel a rekindled sense of connectedness to the truly life-altering work that takes place every day, hour by hour and minute by minute at CSC.
From our first day at the shelter – Wednesday, July 19th
It is emotional to be here with the kids! To see little babies who don't belong to anyone-yet here belong to everyone, sweet toddlers who remind me of Berit (our 2 year old daughter) who have already lost someone for a lifetime, preschoolers coming close or slipping in a hand to be held who don't know what it's like to be someone's child, busy elementary schoolers curiously and boldly saying hello – their life stories already so complicated, and tall, growing-up pre-teens who act like they are at camp, yet don't have family to return home to. I've gotten lots of tears welling up in my eyes – for the kids, when seeing Paul being tender and familiar with kids of all ages, and in thinking about life and all of its complexity. So thankful to be here, and so aware that life can be hard.
From Thursday, July 20th
I've seen lots of poverty today while driving, especially on the city tour with Marlys. It's so surreal to drive by it and then to be done with it, while it is remains someone's total life and story. I like to imagine that all of the kids I see who are way too close to the moving cars in the street have a parent close by, or that they are just going for a walk, but I know that isn't true. Especially aware today of CSC as a SHELTER.
From Tuesday, July 25th
CSC is impressive. The physical campus, the stories behind the campus coming to be, the contrast for the kids between what was and what is – as well as new potential for what might be, the many aunties and uncles, the holistic set up that addresses so many important parts of each child's experience, the team of leaders that is both forward thinking and evaluative... and of course the kids themselves. I'm struck today by the RESILIENCY of the kids. Each child here carries with them a heavy, heart-breaking story, but they keep going.
While on the airplane as I journeyed home, as part of my processing of the days at CSC, I made two lists in my journal. One of the lists was titled "Hard Things", and the other was titled "Joyful Things". I'll share a few of the items that were part of each list.
Hard Things – Hearing kids who had been matched for adoption talk about where they would be going when they joined their new families (Australia, Tennessee, Italy), knowing that other kids listening had no adoption plan. Seeing endearing, funny, smart and talented older kids who don't have much time left until their adoption window closes – knowing that their amazing personalities could never be captured on paper and that their age would likely be what would speak loudest to potential adoptive families. Wondering if the CSC kids were wondering if I was "sizing them up" and considering the possibility of adding them to our family, and even choosing what to say about themselves based on that. Thinking about how quickly childhood passes, and "biding time" while waiting for a family. Hearing babies cry and seeing toddlers sitting in highchairs... even when being carefully tended to by aunties, as Paul would say, "It's not the same as being in a family."
Joyful Things – Bright smiles and sparkling brown eyes. Hearing the house parents lead the kids in devotions before breakfast and after dinner. Listening to the kids sing songs of worship – the sound of their voices floating out from the homes and through the campus. Seeing the kids smartly dressed in their matching school uniforms and getting to walk with them up the hill to school. Visiting Jacob and Ginda's rooms, specially created for them, and seeing how CSC is absolutely committed to them as valued family members. Getting to pray a prayer of thanks and blessing with the overnight workers one night as they started their shift. Being surrounded by a group of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls who just wanted to hang out and talk. Genuinely feeling that there are capable, thoughtful leaders in place. Seeing the employees call out, hug and playfully tease the kids. Sensing real openness from the staff to work together for the children.
Those are some excerpts from my CSC experience. It was truly such a gift to be able to spend those 6 days in July immersed in the daily life of CSC. I'm grateful in a deeper, broader way for this ministry as I'm reminded of both hard and joyful parts of CSC. As a CSC board member, I am especially thankful for the community that supports CSC. To know that children's lives are being changed each day is truly amazing and inspiring, and I'm so thankful for all of you who make that possible!
The first question
Marlys, Jenny and I are in MN for one year. When I see people for the first time (on this stay) they will invariably ask,
"When do you go back?" Sometimes before saying "hi" or asking how I'm doing, they will inquire as to our return date. I think the reason is that we have been living in Cebu for so long that people just imagine us being there. And for some, we are their link to the Philippines and CSC. Seeing us in Minnestoa seems out of place.
Sometimes I do feel out of place in the U.S. In getting situated here we have so much learning to do about technology: phones, internet, new forms of information and communication. It hit us the other night when some of our former CSC residents came over for a visit. They had to show us how our new phones worked. It was a little embarassing, but when we reflected on it we thought it was pretty cool. Kids we helped to rescue from poverty and homelessness several years ago are now our mentors for life in the States!
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A song for Jacob
“I’m overdoing this song.” That was my inner voice the other day. I had fallen for a song and ran the risk of ruining it if I didn’t stop pressing repeat. I ended up restricting myself to one listen per day. Ever had to do that?
The song is by Digital Age, and it’s called “Break Every Chain.”
The truth is, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it at first. The chorus repeats a simple refrain: “There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain.” That sounds wonderful to me. It rings of freedom, joy and hands raised high, and I believe it to be true.
But something about the words kept bugging me. I kept thinking about my friend, Jacob, who lives at CSC. How would Jacob feel listening to this song?
Jacob is quite a guy. There is life dancing in his eyes. It can make your heart soar to get him laughing. He brings joy into a room with him and you can see how much he cares for people.
Jacob also deals with limits. If he wanted, he could focus on what he can’t do all day. Jacob can’t walk. He can’t feed or bathe himself. He can’t speak clearly. Every day is full of reminders to Jacob of the things others can do that he can’t.
Would a song about Jesus breaking every chain bother Jacob? Maybe it would for a time. Perhaps it would cause him to remind Jesus about all the chains he feels, and how much he wishes to be free of them. Maybe he would list the other kids in his home and wonder why he can’t be free like them.
We all feel like that some days, and, let’s be honest, it usually happens when we are comparing ourselves to others. We have those moments of wondering why we can’t be more than we are.
Thanks be to God, one day Jacob will be free of his chains. So will we. What is to come will be a freedom we can’t yet fathom. There will be no more hurt, despair or need to compare ourselves to others. Those broken chains will feel incredible. Maybe even a little extra incredible to my friend Jacob.
When I play that song today I won’t feel guilty about what Jacob would feel listening to it. Instead I think I’ll blast it for him.
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Philippine Independence Day
The Filipino flags were flying from each house. The jello and maha was in the shape of the same flag. CSC celebrated Filipino Independence Day on Thursday.
It was a fun evening full of food and laughter. The kids kept going back for more hot dogs, jello and maha, and chips. Even though the stuffed themselves, they still found room for ice cream.
Each home gave a patriotic presentation. Eicher home presented a speech. Cherne sang a patriotic song. Duterte reenacted the history of Filipino Independence Day.
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In God's Hands
When I got up in the morning, out the window was an interesting site. A rainbow was hanging low over Banawa, Cebu City. The arch that usually spans the sky was down among the people. I walked toward the next room, again looking out the window. Now I noticed something amazing. The end of the rainbow was resting over the shelter. Well, there are many buildings, homes, and business in that line of sight, but naturally I noticed the shelter situated just beyond the orange and yellow cranes.
God has the shelter in His hand. He holds so much in his hand. New children arrived at the shelter just last week, finding a safe place. Children who were sick have regained their strength. Children who were burdened not so long ago with responsibility beyond their years are laughing and playing on the shelter’s playground.
The shelter is a special place because God is holding it in the palm of His hand.
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Arleen sings her heart out
You gave me time when no one gave me the time of day,
You looked deep inside while the rest of the world looked away,
You smiled at me when there were just frowns everywhere,
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.
Chorus:
That's why I call You Saviour ..... that's why I call You Friend,
You touched my heart ..... You touched my soul,
And helped me start all over again,
That's why I love You, Jesus ..... that's why I'll always care,
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.
You gave me laughter after I cried all my tears,
You heard my dreams while the rest of the world closed it's ears,
I looked in Your eyes, and I found the tenderness there,
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.
Chorus:
That's why I call You Saviour ..... that's why I call You Friend,
You touched my heart ..... You touched my soul,
And helped me start all over again.
That's why I love You, Jesus ..... that's why I'll always care,
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.
Arlene stood up in church today and sang this song. She sang beautifully. The song, You Gave Me Love, is especially meaningful for Arleen's life. She came to CSC as a five year-old orphan whose mom had just died. She is blind, and had nobody to take care of her. But as the song says, God, through CSC,touched her heart and her soul, and gave her love when society simply wasn't able to provide her with anything. In many ways, she didn't have a prayer.
As she stood up there singing I thought of the blessing that she has been to so many people over the years, using her musical talents to inspire, convict and bless.
Please pray for Arleen as she is waiting for a job as a music teacher. She has recently graduated from college and is very much hoping to get a job soon. Thanks for all who have supported her over the years through gifts and prayers.
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