Staff Blog
God's grace shows itself to me in many ways. Some are glorious and some are not. 
By the grace of God, for instance, I have enough to eat, a good place to live, money for my diabetes medications and meaningful work that provides many emotional, material and spiritual blessings. But just 0utside my office are children who go to sleep hungry, who wake up with nobody to say "good morning," and with only bleak prospects for having their basic needs met. This noon I drove to McDonalds for a late lunch and was heading back to the office to eat. At the stoplight a little boy approached my car, tapped on my window and held out a deformed hand to ask for money. He motioned to his stomach to indicate that he was hungry. In his eyes was a hunger that went beyond his need for something to eat to indicate a hopelessness at life in general. But he doesn't have the luxury of looking at his life reflectively. He was hungry, and was looking at the food that I had purchased at the drive through that was on the seat next to me, food that I could easily do without. I gave him a handful of fries and drove off. On other occasions I might have just shook my head and not given him anything. Nutritionists might say that he was better off with nothing than a greasy fry, I don't know. But as I drove away my mind came up with many questions that I have considered often in my 38 years in Cebu, questions that don't really have answers but weigh heavily on my heart on occasions such as this.
- Why does this little guy have nothing and I have everything? Is there a single thing about how I have lived my life that qualifies me for advantage? Has this little guy done anything wrong to deserve a withered arm and a hungry tummy?
- Why didn't I just give him my whole lunch instead of a few paltry fries? By suppertime I would be dining on a good meal and he would be hungry again. Likely, I just wanted him to go away from my car.
- What does he think about me and what I represent?
- If he ever does look to the future, does he have a shred of hope that things will get better for him? With little or no positive family or other adult influence, with no access to health care or decent education, and with daily exposure to the many dangers from living on the street, is there any chance whatsoever that he will? What will be different for him, his eventual children and theirs?
- What is life like without hope? Can I even begin to understand that?
The disparities of life in a country like the Philippines are hard to grasp. Living here provides graphic proof that God's grace has nothing to do with merit. Not a thing. That kid deserves a break much more than I ever do or will. All I can do, perhaps, is to think about why God called me to live much of my life here and not in the country of my birth. Some people think that, in choosing to live here, I forsook the luxuries of life for the difficulties of the third world. But I live in the lap of luxury here, too. I just have to pay an emotional price for doing so as I come face to face with people who struggle just to stay alive.
I've been dealing with these same questions for 38 years! At CSC we have been able to help lots of little guys like the one I saw today. We have taken in the hungry, the lame, the disfigured, the homeless. We have dispensed food, medicine, knowledge, even hope. But we aren't helping this little guy at all. Except for a fistfull of fries. Of course we can't help everyone, I know that. But that knowledge doesn't remove his image from my mind or, on the other hand, make his life one ounce better.
I pray for wisdom, to accept the things that I cannot change, to be an agent of positive change where I can, and to know the difference, even though knowing that difference does not provide emotional relief from the confrontations with hopelessness that are a part of life in a place like this. I guess the best way to accomplish the dictates of the above-cited Serenity Prayer is to focus on the things that I can change, not on what I cannot. On the tree, not the forest. But I'm very sure that there are things that I can change if I open my mind to them, to see people not as an inconvenience but an opportunity. Maybe I can use some of the incomprehensible advantages that have been bestowed on me to offer some measure of relief and, maybe, even hope to people like the little boy who I cannot get out of my head.
These are your friends, too.
The last time I was in Cebu I brought a picture with me to give one of our children, a little girl in our Duterte Home. She has lived at CSC since June, 2011 with her two brothers. They came out of extreme poverty, and have made great strides in our care.
The picture I carried was from a group that sponsors this little one as a part of our Foster Friends program. They contribute a monthly amount to provide care for her as a partner of CSC. We have families and individuals who do so through Foster Friends, and in this case, we have a Kiwanis club who gives love across the ocean.
She was in awe of the picture as I explained who this group of people were to her. I had recently spoken to the group and gave them an update on their sponsored child. What a privledge it was to pass along a picture from them and tell this little girl, "all these people care about you." Her eyes lit up and she held the picture with great care as she scanned the faces of the people who give something of themselves to love her. Here she is proudly displaying the photo with two of her friends.
Every day the children at CSC see people who love them: the auntie helping them dress, the house parent leading devotions and the teacher answering a question. There are many people acting as the hands and feet of Jesus in Cebu. And, there are people all over the world making up those hands and feet along with them. What an honor it was to witness one of our CSC kids getting a glimpse of them.
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The best kind of visitors
Actually these are not visitors, but family
members coming back home. We have a
fairly constant flow of visitors coming to CSC,
we have people who find us online and want to visit to see if we are who
we say we are, we have supporters who
make a once in a life time journey to see where their money has been going all
these years, we have adoptive families
coming to claim their long awaited son and/or daughters from us, many other mission groups in Cebu enjoy
bringing their visitors to see us, we
have our own biological family members come to visit…the list goes on and on.
The best kind of visitors for all of us is when our own CSC KIDS come back home to CSC. This has been happening a lot and is always a wonderful time.
Siblings Joe, Roxanne and Carlo are here with us now! They left us for adoption 11 years ago and are back to visit us as well as their birth family. We also have Erna, another one of our own CSC kids back here working in our school for a couple of months. We all love seeing our kids come back, but it is an extra special blessing for all the CSC aunties and uncles to see the kids return. I get to see many of our CSC kids when I am in the States, but our Filipino aunties and uncles only get to see the kids if they return here. It is so fun to see their faces when they see the kids that they cared for many years ago back in the home that they lived in while at CSC. It was hard for them to say goodbye many years ago. These kids return visit helps our aunties and uncles to be able to continue caring for the kids here now, and to keep saying goodbye…we need our CSC kids to keep coming back!
We have had lots of kids come back, some of the things that they remember are precious, some are embarrassing and some are just plain funny. I only recently learned that Joemar (who has lived with us almost 30 years) was the willing recipient of quite a few of the kid’s vegetables; no wonder everyone loved Joemar; he was eating their vegetables for them! We have certainly noticed common reactions and comments for kids coming back; we hear many things like ”I remember the playground being bigger than this!” and “I am taller than the aunties, did they shrink?”
What a blessing our CSC kids are…we hope they keep coming back home to visit!
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We're Off!
We have about forty-five minutes left in the first day of school. Whew! The kids came this morning with new hair cuts and new shoes, all spruced up for the occasion. Of course, the kids were wondering who their teachers were going to be in the morning and afternoon classes. "Who is Teacher Lyrah?" "Who do I have for Civics?" After the kids went home for lunch, the teachers breathed a collective sigh, thankful the morning had gone relatively well. With six new teachers, that was a good sign. The day has not been perfect with one minor disagreement between two boys and a couple of scheduling snafus, but everyone seems happy to be here. Carpe diem!
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Shared Birthday
I know many of you readers are quite familiar with birthday parties and how CSC works to make each child feel special on their big day. Did you know that staff often feels special as well when they celebrate their birthdays?
I definitely felt that last night as it was my birthday!
I share a birthday with these two ladies and enjoyed my time with them. My family is also visiting and they were able to share in the birthday party, which made for a very special night for me! There’s really nothing like being able to celebrate your birthday with a bunch of kids AND your family on the other side of the world. I was greeted by many kids and heard echoes shouting through the playground as we walked up of “Happy Birthday Auntie Megan!” I received numerous hugs and even a card with a poem!
As I reflected back on this time and think about the various and heart wrenching life situations the kids came from, I’m humbled by how they are joyful beyond measure. The kids are kids. They know how to play, run, learn, and explore even though they may not have had that opportunity before coming to CSC. They also have an uncanny way of making adults feel special, whether or not its their birthday. Almost anytime I’m hanging around with the kids, a hug or a greeting is one of the best things I receive. Acceptance and love exudes from their demeanors, and that was true even last night as these twins shared their birthday celebration. It takes a special personality for some kids to be excited about sharing the lime-light with an adult and well, these girls are definitely set apart and special!
I may never have another birthday like this one due to the fact that I’m living in the Philippines and experiencing life in a new way. I am joyful and grateful that God placed me here for this time in my life and that he has allowed me to experience the joy and love of these children!
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Sly Smiles and Fake Tears
Most of the kids at CSC speak some level of English which is
great for me because I don’t speak much Cebuano. I’ve noticed that when one of
the kids doesn’t want to answer a question or try to figure out how to say
something to me in English, they appear to forget how to speak it altogether.
They know I get lost in that language and they can usually squirm out of a
question like “Did you just get called inside for bath time?”
The children here are very well behaved so this isn’t a huge issue, but I’m pretty sure a cute little kid smile and my lack of language skills have gotten me conned into letting a few youngsters get away with something they probably shouldn’t have.
I was playing around with a number of the kids the other
day. We were running, chasing, playing tag, and giving piggyback rides. We were
having a great time. At one point my friend here started stomping around and
was beginning to speak loudly in whiny, mumbly half Cebuano half English. I
knew she wanted a piggyback ride but I didn’t want to reinforce her behavior. In
an unusual moment of how-to-deal-with-little-kid clarity I got down to her
level and said “Please stop whining and tell me what you want”. 
It was incredible…in about 2 seconds the embellished poor-me behavior stopped. No more stomping, she opened the squinting eyes that were trying to produce tears and in perfectly clear English she said that she would like a piggyback ride. I thanked her and she rode off all smiles and joy (I had to ask her to stop screaming in my ear though)!
I get blown away at moments like that; when I can step aside from the look on a child's face and realize that sometimes its a false indignation meant to produce a result! I'm sure the practiced parents out there are laughing at my lack of skill here but it is clear to me that while I may be the adult, it’s usually the 4 year olds that have me figured out. At least, every now and then, I can peak around the curtain and realize how much I have to learn!
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