God's grace shows itself to me in many ways. Some are glorious and some are not. By the grace of God, for instance, I have enough to eat, a good place to live, money for my diabetes medications and meaningful work that provides many emotional, material and spiritual blessings. But just 0utside my office are children who go to sleep hungry, who wake up with nobody to say "good morning," and with only bleak prospects for having their basic needs met. This noon I drove to McDonalds for a late lunch and was heading back to the office to eat. At the stoplight a little boy approached my car, tapped on my window and held out a deformed hand to ask for money. He motioned to his stomach to indicate that he was hungry. In his eyes was a hunger that went beyond his need for something to eat to indicate a hopelessness at life in general. But he doesn't have the luxury of looking at his life reflectively. He was hungry, and was looking at the food that I had purchased at the drive through that was on the seat next to me, food that I could easily do without. I gave him a handful of fries and drove off. On other occasions I might have just shook my head and not given him anything. Nutritionists might say that he was better off with nothing than a greasy fry, I don't know. But as I drove away my mind came up with many questions that I have considered often in my 38 years in Cebu, questions that don't really have answers but weigh heavily on my heart on occasions such as this.
- Why does this little guy have nothing and I have everything? Is there a single thing about how I have lived my life that qualifies me for advantage? Has this little guy done anything wrong to deserve a withered arm and a hungry tummy?
- Why didn't I just give him my whole lunch instead of a few paltry fries? By suppertime I would be dining on a good meal and he would be hungry again. Likely, I just wanted him to go away from my car.
- What does he think about me and what I represent?
- If he ever does look to the future, does he have a shred of hope that things will get better for him? With little or no positive family or other adult influence, with no access to health care or decent education, and with daily exposure to the many dangers from living on the street, is there any chance whatsoever that he will? What will be different for him, his eventual children and theirs?
- What is life like without hope? Can I even begin to understand that?
The disparities of life in a country like the Philippines are hard to grasp. Living here provides graphic proof that God's grace has nothing to do with merit. Not a thing. That kid deserves a break much more than I ever do or will. All I can do, perhaps, is to think about why God called me to live much of my life here and not in the country of my birth. Some people think that, in choosing to live here, I forsook the luxuries of life for the difficulties of the third world. But I live in the lap of luxury here, too. I just have to pay an emotional price for doing so as I come face to face with people who struggle just to stay alive.
I've been dealing with these same questions for 38 years! At CSC we have been able to help lots of little guys like the one I saw today. We have taken in the hungry, the lame, the disfigured, the homeless. We have dispensed food, medicine, knowledge, even hope. But we aren't helping this little guy at all. Except for a fistfull of fries. Of course we can't help everyone, I know that. But that knowledge doesn't remove his image from my mind or, on the other hand, make his life one ounce better.
I pray for wisdom, to accept the things that I cannot change, to be an agent of positive change where I can, and to know the difference, even though knowing that difference does not provide emotional relief from the confrontations with hopelessness that are a part of life in a place like this. I guess the best way to accomplish the dictates of the above-cited Serenity Prayer is to focus on the things that I can change, not on what I cannot. On the tree, not the forest. But I'm very sure that there are things that I can change if I open my mind to them, to see people not as an inconvenience but an opportunity. Maybe I can use some of the incomprehensible advantages that have been bestowed on me to offer some measure of relief and, maybe, even hope to people like the little boy who I cannot get out of my head.
Taking time for God
It isn't often that we can assemble all our employees in one
place at the same timel And we didnt accomplish that the other night at the
school. But we did get half of them at a time for a spiritual emphasis program
that featured visitors from Cambridge, MN, Erna Ahlmann, a former CSC resident
who is volunteering at our school this summer, and former Head Nurse Warlita
Manlon. The services, planned by Joel Reasoner and myself, started after school
on Tuesday, July 26, and again at 6:00 pm, with a nice meal served in between.
Dan and Andrea DeRushia from the First Baptist Church in Cambridge, MN, who are
visiting CSC with Dennis and Sharon Eicher, led the singing, Rianne Nijzink of
our staff sang "Children Need the Lord," and Erna Ahlmann gave a
testimony of her life before, during and after CSC, which was a great
encouragement to our workers. This was reinforced as Dan sang a special number
and talked about how impressed he was with their work and dedication. Warlita
talked about Moses, the first adopted child in biblical history and the way
that god spared him and blessed those who cared for him. She finished with a
short salvation message.
We are concerned with the spiritual health of our workers, and these services were inspiring and faith-building as they consider their important roles in the ministry of CSC.
Saying Yes and No
We've taken in a few new kids in recent days. And we have had to say no to a few referrals, too. The fact is that we can't help every child who needs us. That is easy to say but tough to live with when the child is especially needy. But we only have so many beds, so much personpower and so much money. Sometimes its a matter of timing. Maybe we could have said "yes" to the tiny premature baby in the government hospital who needs an incubator and one-on- one care, probably for months, if the referral had come before we took in the malnourished baby from the other government hospital in town. He also needs one on one care. But we could say "yes" to two small sisters who were abandoned in downtown Cebu City and who were living in a drop-in center with other street kids. And we were able to take in a brother and sister who were living in the city dumpsite and whose parents were nowhere to be found. There is a lot of joy at CSC when we are able to take in new children. Not for the circumstance that led to our being needed for them, but for the opportunities to make crucial interventions in their lives and reverse some of the fear, abuse or malnutrition that they have endured. Thanks to the deal people who stand with us as we admit these kids to CSC, providing the material and prayer support that helps change their lives for the better.
I'm Just a Kid
“I’m just a kid and you are a teacher.”
I laughed and I was amazed at the same time when I heard this statement from one of my students. We were doing our oral development activity when one of my students refused to make his own sentence using the new words we had learned that day. Other students were thinking hard and constructing sentences using the words, but this student was struggling.
I called on him and at first he
was very hesitant to share because he was not ready. He hadn’t formulated even
one sentence in his mind, so I gave him few more minutes to think. The class discussion had been really good;
other students were enjoying the activity and sharing their sentences.
Again I called on the student and I said, “Hey buddy, I think you’re ready to share your sentence with us. You look like you have been thinking hard.” He smiled and looked at his classmates. They cheered for him and encouraged him by saying, “Try lang.” (English-Cebuano for “try please”)
I stood beside him, cheering him on and praising him as well. He stared at me and said in a nervous voice, “Teacher, I’m just a kid and you are a teacher.” I caught myself beginning to laugh when he uttered these words.
Then I stopped and told the student and all of his classmates, “Yes, you are all kids and you’re still young and I was once a kid too. But let me ask you these questions: Where are you right now? Why are we here? Have you thought that maybe we both have the same goal and purpose?
We are here in school to study and to learn. This doesn’t mean that I’m a teacher and I know everything. It’s not as simple as that. Learning is a two-way process. You learn from me and I also learn from you. I’m here to help, teach, guide and mold you to be a better person in the future.”
After our conversation, the student was able to formulate his own sentence and everybody clapped for him. In the back of my mind I told myself I’m lucky to be a teacher. I may not be rich with jewels, but I’m rich with good and happy memories because of my experiences. I have a lot of memories already to ponder in the future.
Fil-Am Friendship Day
A Day of Friendship
Every 4th of July is Friendship Day at Cebu Children of Hope School. On this day, there is always a special time set aside for everyone to gather together and have fun.
This year, the celebration was great. Everybody, especially the students, had fun. There were a lot of friendship games that taught them good values like cooperation and considering others. The highlight of the celebration was a parade as a finale with candy tossed to the kids. It was very special for the students. They all had fun picking up the candies and sharing with each other. It was a joyful celebration.
Meetings galore
Meetings. Our ministry relies on lots of meetings. These mostly involve internal matters: staff and leadership meetings; school faculty meetings; social work, child development and nursing departmental meetings; referral meetings; counselor and house parent meetings and meetings with all the child care workers. We meet with adoptive parents when they come to get their children, highlighting their medical histories and developmental and behavioral progress . The other day our Social Work Director Klaris and I met to discuss a needed meeting with the Social Workers to prepare for another meeting. Wow. And sometimes, meetings just kind of happen. The other day I popped my head into Joel’s office and we got to talking about a bunch of stuff, and Willard joined in and pretty soon we had an unscheduled buta full-fledged meeting. We also have meetings outside of CSC, with government officials, adoption workers and sales persons.
But there are so many things to discuss and decide upon at CSC: case management; behavioral issues with the kids; schedules; health matters; counseling strategies and decisions about which children we should admit. Having meetings means that we value the input of others and that we need their counsel to make the best decisions possible. Our staff consists of people with wisdom, experience, enthusiasm and dedication - good participants in the meetings that help us steer a proper course for the ministry of CSC.