They said that time heals. True. However, time alone could not do all the stitches. Most of the children here in CSC have a myriad of wounds to heal from their past. A wound on their knees would only take a week to heal but a wound made when no one helped them to get up would take years, a hundred of CSC outings, and relationships. Some have spent most of their childhood here. And that's a lot of time yet most of them are still haunted by the ghosts of their past— the phantom of neglect, rejection, abandonment, and the monstrous impact of separation from their significant others. Time is not enough.
I've been working with these children for three years and I've witnessed how these ghosts have influenced their behaviors and perspective of their own selves and their lives. Despite these, I've also observed how the love and care provided by the houseparents, aunties (caregivers), and other staff in CSC have greatly lessened the grip of these ghosts in their lives. Because of this, children have retaken the cape of their childhood. Trust has sprouted again and has blossomed into friendship and family. It is truly magical to witness how a child trusts an adult again. A positive and healthy relationship is, for me, the greatest healing the child could have. In counseling, we highly value relationships as this always precedes any counseling techniques. Although it has always been a challenge gaining the children's trust, art has paved the way for us, counselors, to see and hear their stories. It has been a great tool for us to deal with resistant children in counseling. Art allows the child to express himself/herself in ways he/she is most comfortable to. It allows the child to "reflect their inner worlds, depicting various feelings" (Malchiodi, 1998). Art helps the children share their stories to us in a non-threatening way. It allows the child to have full control of their creation. Painting, drawing, music, and photography are the usual art modalities chosen by the boys.
The pictures above are just some of the ways to utilize art in helping children become aware of the ghosts of their past. Some, especially the older ones, have slowly faced their past in a more positive and hopeful way. I am hoping that the time they spend here in CSC would help them see the collateral beauty in pain.
They said that time heals. True. It is true but time is not enough to do all the stitches. Instead, time allows our crushed spirit to get up; to acknowledge pain and becomes familiar to it; to understand that our pain has an ending; to have relationships blossom; to ignite a new dream; to see that all along God has been stirring the wheel. And time helps the children to better understand that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28, NKJV).
Sweet Reward!
Being a teacher implies that when I am inside the classroom, I possess various roles. I may be a model, a facilitator, a motivator, a surrogate-parent and so on. Being a teacher at CCHS is a fulfilling job for me because I know every student has some specific learning need. I may not be able to totally fulfill all their needs, but I can help each child attain more.
Young kids always love to play and be imaginative. Recently one day in Civics class was a particularly good day of fun and learning for me and my students. Our topic on that day was studying about the various beautiful, historical, and well-known places in the Philippines.
I told the kids we were going on a trip. I started our class with, “Kids I want you to close your eyes. Pretend we are going to ride an airplane to Manila. We’ll start in Cebu and go visit the beautiful places in Luzon.” Then the kids opened their eyes and looked at the pictures of different places in Luzon. We “visited” Rizal Park, Fort Santiago, the Rice Terraces, and a lot more.
I was amazed at the interaction during the lesson. The students asked a lot of questions and were curious about each place. They wanted to know more about different places in our country, the Philippines.
And as I finished the class that day, I knew the kids had learned a lot and I felt fulfilled as their Civics teacher.
Stepping out alone...kind of
We are constantly working at CSC to do things like a regular family. It’s impossible to get that exactly right with 90-95 children, but we work hard at it.
One of the wisest decisions we’ve made is to schedule enough childcare workers so that our “aunties” have time to connect with the children in our care. All of us run the risk of moving from task to task in our jobs, and we hope to prevent that at CSC when it comes to the care of our children. Time for bonding is critically important to a child's development so there are consistent aunties around, assigned to each home, at low enough ratios that connections can develop.
The picture below portrays the kind of thing we witness each day in Cebu. A child is stepping out on his own, but he’s not alone. There nearby is a loving auntie ready to catch him if he falls. Some aunties take time to push our kids in a wheelchair, others push little ones on a swing. Sometimes they stand under a basketball hoop to rebound balls, other times they stand behind tentative little steps. We believe there are times the most important work an auntie can do is simply to play, come alongside or listen and let a child know they are worthy of time and attention. They and the House Parents are the frontline family to the children so many of us care about at CSC.
Lemonade, used clothing and the CSC kids
Families support the ministry of CSC in many ways. In recent weeks the Stoll family had a lemonade stand outside their home, with the proceeds going to CSC. These are the kids of Kirby and Shana Stoll, longtime friends of the ministry. Kirby is a CSC Board member. The kids have done this fundraising project before, and have joyfully and enthusiastically given the profits for the kids that they regularly pray for at CSC.
Just today the Bonnett family had a big garage sale for CSC. This is a family that includes seven adopted children from CSC! Having a garage sale is a lot of work, but the efforts were a labor of love for the kids in Cebu. This is a form of volunteerism that is humbling to Marlys and me, and an indication of just how deeply people feel about CSC and the work that we are doing in Cebu.
Thanks to these two families for caring deeply and working hard to help us provide quality care for the kids that come to live with us at CSC. You are the greatest!
Measure of Success
CSC had a busy week last week. Among a whole line up of other things we played host to two families who had previously adopted children from CSC and were back for a visit as well as having a family come and meet their newly adopted son for the first time!
It was fascinating for me to see these families who are in very different places on the spectrum of adoption and child-raising all gathered at CSC. I like the idea that CSC is place people can come back to and not a place people want to get away from. We’re sheltering kids during a pretty tough time in their lives and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if they wanted to forget a lot of the challenges before and even during their lives at CSC. Some probably do want to forget, but I’ve met several who are excited to come back, who have stories to share, and are very proud to be from this place.
I like being part of an organization that measures success in terms of lifelong relationships.
Skype
The kids pray every night. One thing on their list and that everyone is eager to pray for is a mom and dad, a family to call their own. Some have been waiting a short time, while others have been waiting for years. In the midst of waiting, we learn patience and reflect on God's perfect timing. The waiting continues to happen, even when kids receive the news that they have a mom and dad and a new home and sometimes brothers and sisters. They have a few more months to wait before their parents come to bring them home as paperwork still needs to be processed.
In the midst of waiting, most of the kids have an opportunity to virtually "meet" their families over Skype. This is a great blessing for the kids as they have the opportunity to become acquainted with their families and can often help ease the transition for them. The parents also benefit from this experience as they can finally meet their child(ren) who they have been waiting for for a long time.
Recently I've helped facilitate a few of these calls, and it has been amazing and joyful to be involved in these interactions. The giggles, smiles, goofy faces, and conversations that take place are absolutely priceless. It's clear the kids and the adoptive families enjoy this time. As I was reflecting on a few recent interactions over Skype, it was clear to me that God was connecting these hearts and lives from miles and miles away. I am blessed to be involved in these situations and to see, first hand, how God is continuing to work in the lives of so many people who are connected to CSC in so many different ways. As you feel prompted, please be in prayer for the children and the adoptive families who are waiting for that first moment when they physically see one another for the first time. And while you're at it, lift up a "thank you" for this little piece of technology called "Skype" that can make preparation for adoption a little bit easier!