In this season marked by gift giving and receiving, I've been reflecting about a significant gift that I received earlier this year. In July, I travelled to the Philippines and had the opportunity to spend 6 days visiting CSC.
While I've had connections to CSC for almost 15 years, this was my first actual trip there – not for lack of desire to have made the trip earlier, but working within the realities of parenting and being an at-home mom with our 4 young kids. Being there was, of course, amazing, and a true gift. The life-giving ministry that takes place there came alive for me in a whole new way. I don't want to lose that deepened sense of connectedness that I brought back to Minnesota with me, and as part of that desire to hold onto connection I recently revisited some of the journaling that I'd done during my week at CSC. I'd like to share a few excerpts from my journal with you – in hopes that you also will feel a rekindled sense of connectedness to the truly life-altering work that takes place every day, hour by hour and minute by minute at CSC.
From our first day at the shelter – Wednesday, July 19th
It is emotional to be here with the kids! To see little babies who don't belong to anyone-yet here belong to everyone, sweet toddlers who remind me of Berit (our 2 year old daughter) who have already lost someone for a lifetime, preschoolers coming close or slipping in a hand to be held who don't know what it's like to be someone's child, busy elementary schoolers curiously and boldly saying hello – their life stories already so complicated, and tall, growing-up pre-teens who act like they are at camp, yet don't have family to return home to. I've gotten lots of tears welling up in my eyes – for the kids, when seeing Paul being tender and familiar with kids of all ages, and in thinking about life and all of its complexity. So thankful to be here, and so aware that life can be hard.
From Thursday, July 20th
I've seen lots of poverty today while driving, especially on the city tour with Marlys. It's so surreal to drive by it and then to be done with it, while it is remains someone's total life and story. I like to imagine that all of the kids I see who are way too close to the moving cars in the street have a parent close by, or that they are just going for a walk, but I know that isn't true. Especially aware today of CSC as a SHELTER.
From Tuesday, July 25th
CSC is impressive. The physical campus, the stories behind the campus coming to be, the contrast for the kids between what was and what is – as well as new potential for what might be, the many aunties and uncles, the holistic set up that addresses so many important parts of each child's experience, the team of leaders that is both forward thinking and evaluative... and of course the kids themselves. I'm struck today by the RESILIENCY of the kids. Each child here carries with them a heavy, heart-breaking story, but they keep going.
While on the airplane as I journeyed home, as part of my processing of the days at CSC, I made two lists in my journal. One of the lists was titled "Hard Things", and the other was titled "Joyful Things". I'll share a few of the items that were part of each list.
Hard Things – Hearing kids who had been matched for adoption talk about where they would be going when they joined their new families (Australia, Tennessee, Italy), knowing that other kids listening had no adoption plan. Seeing endearing, funny, smart and talented older kids who don't have much time left until their adoption window closes – knowing that their amazing personalities could never be captured on paper and that their age would likely be what would speak loudest to potential adoptive families. Wondering if the CSC kids were wondering if I was "sizing them up" and considering the possibility of adding them to our family, and even choosing what to say about themselves based on that. Thinking about how quickly childhood passes, and "biding time" while waiting for a family. Hearing babies cry and seeing toddlers sitting in highchairs... even when being carefully tended to by aunties, as Paul would say, "It's not the same as being in a family."
Joyful Things – Bright smiles and sparkling brown eyes. Hearing the house parents lead the kids in devotions before breakfast and after dinner. Listening to the kids sing songs of worship – the sound of their voices floating out from the homes and through the campus. Seeing the kids smartly dressed in their matching school uniforms and getting to walk with them up the hill to school. Visiting Jacob and Ginda's rooms, specially created for them, and seeing how CSC is absolutely committed to them as valued family members. Getting to pray a prayer of thanks and blessing with the overnight workers one night as they started their shift. Being surrounded by a group of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls who just wanted to hang out and talk. Genuinely feeling that there are capable, thoughtful leaders in place. Seeing the employees call out, hug and playfully tease the kids. Sensing real openness from the staff to work together for the children.
Those are some excerpts from my CSC experience. It was truly such a gift to be able to spend those 6 days in July immersed in the daily life of CSC. I'm grateful in a deeper, broader way for this ministry as I'm reminded of both hard and joyful parts of CSC. As a CSC board member, I am especially thankful for the community that supports CSC. To know that children's lives are being changed each day is truly amazing and inspiring, and I'm so thankful for all of you who make that possible!
Sweet Reward!
Being a teacher implies that when I am inside the classroom, I possess various roles. I may be a model, a facilitator, a motivator, a surrogate-parent and so on. Being a teacher at CCHS is a fulfilling job for me because I know every student has some specific learning need. I may not be able to totally fulfill all their needs, but I can help each child attain more.
Young kids always love to play and be imaginative. Recently one day in Civics class was a particularly good day of fun and learning for me and my students. Our topic on that day was studying about the various beautiful, historical, and well-known places in the Philippines.
I told the kids we were going on a trip. I started our class with, “Kids I want you to close your eyes. Pretend we are going to ride an airplane to Manila. We’ll start in Cebu and go visit the beautiful places in Luzon.” Then the kids opened their eyes and looked at the pictures of different places in Luzon. We “visited” Rizal Park, Fort Santiago, the Rice Terraces, and a lot more.
I was amazed at the interaction during the lesson. The students asked a lot of questions and were curious about each place. They wanted to know more about different places in our country, the Philippines.
And as I finished the class that day, I knew the kids had learned a lot and I felt fulfilled as their Civics teacher.
Stepping out alone...kind of
We are constantly working at CSC to do things like a regular family. It’s impossible to get that exactly right with 90-95 children, but we work hard at it.
One of the wisest decisions we’ve made is to schedule enough childcare workers so that our “aunties” have time to connect with the children in our care. All of us run the risk of moving from task to task in our jobs, and we hope to prevent that at CSC when it comes to the care of our children. Time for bonding is critically important to a child's development so there are consistent aunties around, assigned to each home, at low enough ratios that connections can develop.
The picture below portrays the kind of thing we witness each day in Cebu. A child is stepping out on his own, but he’s not alone. There nearby is a loving auntie ready to catch him if he falls. Some aunties take time to push our kids in a wheelchair, others push little ones on a swing. Sometimes they stand under a basketball hoop to rebound balls, other times they stand behind tentative little steps. We believe there are times the most important work an auntie can do is simply to play, come alongside or listen and let a child know they are worthy of time and attention. They and the House Parents are the frontline family to the children so many of us care about at CSC.
Lemonade, used clothing and the CSC kids
Families support the ministry of CSC in many ways. In recent weeks the Stoll family had a lemonade stand outside their home, with the proceeds going to CSC. These are the kids of Kirby and Shana Stoll, longtime friends of the ministry. Kirby is a CSC Board member. The kids have done this fundraising project before, and have joyfully and enthusiastically given the profits for the kids that they regularly pray for at CSC.
Just today the Bonnett family had a big garage sale for CSC. This is a family that includes seven adopted children from CSC! Having a garage sale is a lot of work, but the efforts were a labor of love for the kids in Cebu. This is a form of volunteerism that is humbling to Marlys and me, and an indication of just how deeply people feel about CSC and the work that we are doing in Cebu.
Thanks to these two families for caring deeply and working hard to help us provide quality care for the kids that come to live with us at CSC. You are the greatest!
Measure of Success
CSC had a busy week last week. Among a whole line up of other things we played host to two families who had previously adopted children from CSC and were back for a visit as well as having a family come and meet their newly adopted son for the first time!
It was fascinating for me to see these families who are in very different places on the spectrum of adoption and child-raising all gathered at CSC. I like the idea that CSC is place people can come back to and not a place people want to get away from. We’re sheltering kids during a pretty tough time in their lives and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if they wanted to forget a lot of the challenges before and even during their lives at CSC. Some probably do want to forget, but I’ve met several who are excited to come back, who have stories to share, and are very proud to be from this place.
I like being part of an organization that measures success in terms of lifelong relationships.
Skype
The kids pray every night. One thing on their list and that everyone is eager to pray for is a mom and dad, a family to call their own. Some have been waiting a short time, while others have been waiting for years. In the midst of waiting, we learn patience and reflect on God's perfect timing. The waiting continues to happen, even when kids receive the news that they have a mom and dad and a new home and sometimes brothers and sisters. They have a few more months to wait before their parents come to bring them home as paperwork still needs to be processed.
In the midst of waiting, most of the kids have an opportunity to virtually "meet" their families over Skype. This is a great blessing for the kids as they have the opportunity to become acquainted with their families and can often help ease the transition for them. The parents also benefit from this experience as they can finally meet their child(ren) who they have been waiting for for a long time.
Recently I've helped facilitate a few of these calls, and it has been amazing and joyful to be involved in these interactions. The giggles, smiles, goofy faces, and conversations that take place are absolutely priceless. It's clear the kids and the adoptive families enjoy this time. As I was reflecting on a few recent interactions over Skype, it was clear to me that God was connecting these hearts and lives from miles and miles away. I am blessed to be involved in these situations and to see, first hand, how God is continuing to work in the lives of so many people who are connected to CSC in so many different ways. As you feel prompted, please be in prayer for the children and the adoptive families who are waiting for that first moment when they physically see one another for the first time. And while you're at it, lift up a "thank you" for this little piece of technology called "Skype" that can make preparation for adoption a little bit easier!