The mysteries of God are a part of the Christian life that can often lead to confusion, doubt and even discouragement for believers.
- For some, it's a pride thing. We want to have answers – we want to understand, to be able to grasp the complexities of Biblical truth and God's plan for mankind.
- For some, God's mysteries – the unexplained things of life – are stumbling blocks to faith:
1. Why do bad things happen to good people?
2. Why does He allow pain, suffering and evil to thrive in our world?
Several months ago we were witnesses to the aftermath of the tragedy in Pennsylvania involving the Amish community, where, good, decent, hard working, non violent people were subjected to unspeakable cruelty towards their children. How can this happen?
3. One of our CSC children, who grew up in the worst poverty imaginable in Cebu City, was adopted into a family in the United States several years ago. Well meaning people would tell her how lucky she was and how God obviously had a wonderful plan for her life. She had a hard time with that and would sometimes ask her parents, "But what about all the kids who are still there, who weren't adopted, and who are still suffering and dying? What is God's wonderful plan for their lives? Why me and not them?
For many of us, we celebrate the goodness of God in our lives, we praise him for his healing, for material comforts, for blessing our efforts – even as we observe people who remain sick or disabled, who suffer in poverty – those who efforts and initiatives end in disappointment and ruin.
There are two extremes in terms of people's reactions to the things about God and life that are not understood.
1. There are those who try in vain to grasp the ungraspable – to be able to reduce the mysteries to understandable formulas or explanations. I remember a young seminarian who came to Cebu and who filled the pulpit of our church on a Sunday evening. He preached for an hour on the "peace of God that passes all understanding." Perhaps he felt that if he preached long enough he could crack that nut and open our understanding!
We all know those who have reduced the book of Revelation to precise charts and timetables, giving us easy to understand categories for all of human history and, most especially, the times to come.
2. A second category are those who shake their heads and say, "We'll only know these answers when we get to heaven." They suspend inquiry, not bothering to seek answers to the perplexing questions of life.
Living and working in a Third World country like the Philippines brings some of these mysteries to the front of our lives. Poverty, and all that goes with it, is "in your face." People often ask me "How do you like living in the Philippines?" That's a tough one to answer. Life anywhere has its highs and lows. Some days are great, others are difficult. I often answer this way:
1. When I'm sitting down to a nice breakfast I am aware that, within a few meters of my house are families that have no breakfast.
2. When I'm driving to the office or the Shelter I often pass people walking along the road who, for lack of a few cents can not even afford public transportation and must walk.
3. When I stop to buy medicine for my family or the CSC kids, there are people standing nearby whose children are dying for lack of that very same medicine.
Why am I blessed and they are not?
I recall a conversation with a missionary a few days after Cebu was hit by a strong typhoon. Many of our CSC workers lost their roofs or their entire homes. The houses of the poor were devastated by the high winds and torrential rains. The missionary said that it had been such a miracle how God spared the missionary homes from damage, holding his hands of protection around us during the storm. I remember wondering whether it wasn't more a matter of our having cement houses and strong metal roofs.
Why did our CSC kids have to suffer so much? And how much more, those who live on the street and cannot be admitted to CSC?
These are tough questions. When it comes to trying to understand our own suffering, the Bible gives some answers. For example, Romans 5:3-4 tells us that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope. And the Bible gives us additional hope that we will someday come to see God's purpose and mysteries:
"But now we see through a glass dimly, but then face to face."
And we hear the testimonies of Christian brothers and sisters who have lived through terrible times and have turned negatives into positives in their lives.
Several months ago I was attending a conference in Bismark, North Dakota. One of the featured speakers was Steve Saint, Steve's father, Nate Saint, was one of the five missionaries killed in 1956 by Aucan warriors in Equador. Steve told about what that tragic day meant to his family, and what it was like when his dad, his hero, didn't come home that day. We saw video of his current family life, and saw a man who was interacting with Steve's children, and who was being referred to as "Uncle." It turns out that this was the very man who had killed Steve's father, who had come to know Jesus and had experienced the forgiveness of God and of the Saint family and now was a part of their family – an amazing story of how good things had come out of tragedy and suffering.
So the clear message is that God has a plan for our lives, we will discover that plan in the right time. He is writing our life's stories, but some of the chapters are difficult ones.
We can understand this. We can, when aided by the Holy Spirit, see how difficulties and suffering are part of a purification process for us, and that we, like Job, will eventually be better people for it.
But what about people who, because of major disabilities, are unable to understand their situation, unable to discern the hand of God or his plan for their lives. Where is the purification and growth and ultimate value for these people? What could God's purpose possibly be?
Back on 1982 a baby was born in a charity ward in a small hospital in Cebu City. The baby underwent cardiac arrest during birth and was without oxygen for an extended time. Unlike many cases of charity patients, the hospital staff decided to resuscitate the baby, even after he had suffered massive brain damage and cerebral palsy. The baby's mother abandoned him in the hospital, and after a couple months Luke was referred to CSC. When we took him in he appeared to be a bouncing baby boy. We did not know that he would not develop physically beyond about a year and a half, or mentally beyond a few months. Luke would never speak, nor have voluntary movement of his arms or legs.
Luke became a fixture at CSC. For over 23 years he was an integral part of our lives and a symbol of CSC and what we are all about.
Many times Luke would be hospitalized – often due to upper respiratory infections. He fought for his life many times. There were at least a dozen times when we were sure that he would die. The doctors had told us that he wouldn't make it past five years old. Then they revised it to nine, then 11 – certainly he wouldn't reach his teenage years.
One time, when Luke was critically ill our staff met to pray and I asked them to reflect on his life. Here is why: I believe that God had a purpose for Luke's life when he created him. I believe that He uses people like Luke to teach us important things. But here is the rub: If we don't spend time reflecting on these lessons, then Luke's life is useless. Its up to us to allow God to make sense of Luke's life.
And what are the lessons that we found? What has God taught us through his life?
1. First, life is precious. Even though he had nothing to live for, from the world's point of view, Luke clung to live almost ferociously. Some of us who have much more to live for take life casually, we take life for granted. Not Luke. Every day was a struggle. Every breath had to be fought for. Life is a gift from God and we should treat it carefully.
2. God has provided us with opportunities, through Luke's life, to minister to him in significant and life-saving ways. He has provided an avenue for us to live out the biblical mandate to minister unto the "least of these," because, truly, Luke was in that category. Hundreds of people have been given a blessing to participate in the support of CSC that reaches out to children like Luke and many others with other special needs.
3. In so doing, He has given us a chance to show others a Godly value system that doesn't reserve love and attention for those who have something to give back, or who have "potential" or a bright future. For many people who live in a developing country, where resources are limited, this has been a difficult lesson to learn. How could we justify spending so much money for Luke's hospitalization when other, "normal" kids needed care? Luke's life gave us the opportunity to teach about the value of life and about how God looks at all of us.
4. Luke has been a tremendous ambassador for CSC. People around the world remember observing the loving care that he received by our staff and workers. They remember his famous smiles. They may quickly forget the names of the staff or other children, but they remember Luke. "How's Luke doing?" we get asked wherever we go to talk about the ministry of CSC. And our care of Luke helps us explain the true nature and core values of our work in the Philippines.
5. Luke has been a safety valve for those that had an opportunity to know him. My job as Field Director of CSC involves lots of administrative chores, like making budgets, government relations and various kinds of problem solving. There are days when I get stressed out and start to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. But all I needed to do is to drive a few short miles to where Luke lived, to hold him in my arms, and I get a clear picture of what real struggles are all about. My struggles paled in comparison to what Luke faced every day. Self pity may be easy for some people, but those that knew Luke have no excuse for feeling sorry for themselves. What a great gift that was to all of us.
A little over a week before we left Cebu, Marlys called me on my cell phone and told me that I should get to the hospital quickly, as Luke wasn't doing well. He had been hospitalized for over a week and his breathing was bad. I had gotten messages similar to this one throughout Luke's life, so I went to the office and took care of a few things. But the Lord laid it on my heart to go see Luke and when I entered his room his breathing was extremely labored. He looked different than I had ever seen him, and it became clear that he was dying. I sat down next to him, kissed him and looked into his eyes. For 23 years we had loved this boy. It wasn't easy to say goodbye. I said to him, "Luke. You can go. Go to be with Jesus, Luke. I love you." Within a couple of minutes Luke took his last breath. 23 years of pain, suffering, limitations, hospitalizations, forced breathing, skin rashes and infections were over. We would never see Luke's smile again.
As Luke was dying in that hospital room, I made a promise. I'm not sure if I was making a promise to Luke, to God or to myself. But I decided then and there that I was going to talk about Luke on our coming furlough. I believed then and do now, that the church of Jesus Christ needs to hear about Luke, that the lessons of his life are important ones. Many Americans are complainers - full of self pity. People who have so many material comforts are unsatisfied. American discourse is increasingly a chorus of victim and entitlement claims. Charles Sykes, in his book "A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character" states that, "in a nation where everyone is a victim, no one is a victim." In our preoccupation with our own needs we have a hard time seeing the needs of others – people like Luke.
In his song "God Help the Outcasts," the Hunchback of Notre Dame poses several difficult issues:
I don't know if there's a reason
Why some are blessed, some not
Why the few You seem to favor
They fear us, flee us,
Try not to see us.
The first part we have already examined. The second is our call to arms. "Why the few You seem to favor, they fear us, flee us, try not to see us."
I don't know what factors might make it difficult for us to see the needs of society's outcasts. Perhaps we are too busy. Maybe our personal and church calendars are so full that there just isn't room for Luke, or the man who had fallen to thieves at the side of the road, to break into our day. Maybe we are numbed or fatigued by the needs of others, or simply overwhelmed by the circumstances of our own lives. Maybe we have become cynical. "Why did that guy travel this road at this time carrying that amount of money? He deserves what he got!"
Maybe, just maybe, Luke can help cut through the apathy, the self-centeredness and cynicism of our lives. He was a person with significant needs that he didn't cause. He was totally dependent on others to live. His life had none of the possibilities and opportunities that we take for granted every day. He needed us so very much. Maybe Luke can serve as a symbol of many others that we come into contact with. Maybe Luke can help us rescue our lives.
Writing Reveals What is Alive in Us
"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: "I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write." Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to "give away" on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches."
"Oh that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll..."
JOB 19:23 (NIV)
https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/writing-reveals-what-is-alive-in-us/
I don't write for the CSC blog all that often, but I thought it was interesting that the above devotion came to my email inbox just a little over a week ago. It makes me think that what I write down is a deeper expression of not only what is in my mind, but what is in my heart. I'm grateful for those who choose to read our updates and trust that you will find a nugget somewhere in all this to apply to your own lives.
Another school year has begun at CSC at our Cebu Children of Hope School. I received some pictures over the last couple of weeks that seem like priceless classics to commemorate the beginning of our school year. Much like last year, our school is adapting to new spaces where our kids learn in order to keep them safe and sheltered from the effects of the pandemic. Our actual school building is still being used as a quarantine facility for teachers and other employees who are rotating in an out of the shelter.
["My Hopes and Dreams": Don't you just want to know what he's writing for his hopes and dreams?]
[If you are able, Zoom in on the computer screen. Can't you just imagine what these kids are saying they're looking forward to at the beginning of the school year?]
Jesus' words from Matthew chapter 7 are at the heart of why we do what we do. Jesus says, "'Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'" We believe that God has far greater gifts to give to us and our CSC kids, and we will do our best to continue to give all that we have for their care, including their education.
The pandemic continues to rage on in Cebu with daily cases at all-time highs, even compared to last year. We had hoped to pull back on our restrictions, but that won't be able to occur until more of our employees have been vaccinated. The vaccines are coming to Cebu, but they are slow in coming with only a few doses available to our employees each week. Please continue to pray with us for good health and safety.
Grace and Peace,
Kirby Stoll
P.S. It is my honor to be able to write periodically for our CSC blog. It is my hope that these words and the words from all those who share from time to time will draw you in to the amazing work we get to do at CSC and that your relationship with the Lord will be strengthened. Learn more about CSC at https://cebushelter.org.
We call it "Lock-in Lock-out"
Virgilio was in our first group of employees who volunteered to be inside our lockdown. He sacrificed to be away from his wife and children to lock in at the shelter for six months! When he finshed his "tour of duty" inside our lockdown facility, he reunited with his family.
Virgilio has so many talents, including a specialty in plumbing. He has helped fix many problems at the shelter. At present, CSC is still in a lockdown situation due to Covid-19, but it doesn't hinder the facilities department to render it's services to the kids and other residents inside.
Honoring Our Founders
This past weekend we hosted a retirement picnic for our founders, Paul and Marlys Healy. They were obedient to God's call on their hearts back in 1978 to care for the people of the Philippines. They moved to Cebu and immediately started caring for vulnerable children and families. They helped plant churches, worked with local missionaries and took in more children as the need grew. They have left quite a legacy. The organization of CSC continues on, providing for children in need, with a great leadership team, wonderful staff and amazing donors.
It's impossible to adequately thank Paul and Marlys for their 43 years of service. We offered our current CSC staff and residents the option of writing a note to Paul and Marlys. As I was thinking about how we could try to say a word of thanks, I came across this note that summed it up well:
"Congratulations on making it to retirement. None of us have completely witnessed every ounce of effort and care you poured into CSC, but God certainly has. May the Lord continue to bless the toil of your hands, even as the seeds you have sown in our hearts continue to grow."
Making Progress in School
"God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never understand His wisdom, but we simply have to trust His will." - Psalm 37:5
The year 2020 has been a challenging year and it carries over this year in 2021 for people all over the world. One area that has been deeply impacted is education. Countries all over the world have been using different approaches so their children can continue to learn. Here in the Philippines, modular distance learning and online classes are used to reach out to children and continue their schooling. One great thing at CSC is our ability to have our classes at the shelter. Our students have greatly benefited and have made substantial improvement in their academic and non-academic skills. We believe continuous learning, even in a modified setting, is an effective way for children to gain the necessary knowledge and skills to satisfy the requirement of their grade levels.
One special student has greatly benefited from a modified class. She started a grade lower when she first came to CSC but because of her determination to learn and handle the lessons presented, we decided to move her up and join a suitable level based on her age and performance. Her first day in August 2020 was full of excitement in learning new lessons and joining a new set of classmates. At first she struggled with the new material especially in reading and spelling. We provided her extra time to work on the skills that needed more attention and refinement. We are thankful that she never losses stamina to keep going in spite of the challenges that come her way. She persevered and is confidently working along with her classmates. She made excellent progress towards the end of the third quarter.
In math, she enjoys solving word problems using the strategies she has learned. She loves math games, especially with math tools available like pattern blocks, pop cubes, and unit blocks. She is also excited to learn simple multiplication and division facts. Her favorite parts of the day; however, are art class and performing experiments during science class. It's wonderful to see how she has progressed this year!
We are so appreciative to all of the supporters, for your faithfulness to CSC in many ways. You are making a difference in the life each child. You have allowed them unlock their potential and show their God-given abilities beyond what we could imagine during this trying time.
(Note: In order to protect the privacy of the children in our care and to comply with Filipino governmental guidelines, our policy when sharing online is to list either a child's name or their photo but not both.)
A New Perspective
Today was our last day as employees of CSC. We have known it was coming and prepared for it as best we could. But it hit us kind of hard today, I have to admit. We have new e-mail addresses. We will be switching over to pension and Social Security income from salaries, and medicare supplement insurance from our CSC group plan. We won't be attending Leadership meetings or be involved in strategic planning except as advisors. We can't hug the kids like we long to do. We just watched the CSC virtual banquet and it was very different to see the things that they are doing, not what we are doing.
CSC is our life's work. We gave it all we had and I am pleased to be able to say with certainty that God blessed our efforts and those of so many other people. When the drone shots of CSC appeared on the screen the other night at the virtual banquet, it almost took our breath away as we watched with friends. What a place He has built in Cebu! And what a great team He has assembled to be stewards of not only the buildings, but the ministry that goes on there every day. Every day, in our case, for 15,336 days. That means that every morning for 15,336 days we got out of bed to face a day with purpose and pleasure, doing what we loved to do for the precious kids of CSC. Thanks to all who have joined us over the years to provide a village of love and support around them. We will continue to serve the ministry going forward, to the best of our ability. Thanks for your prayers as we embark on a new journey.