How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard, easy to be cold
How can people have no feelings?
How can they ignore their friends?
Easy to be proud, easy to say no.
Songwriters: Ragni, Gerome / Rado, James / Mac Dermot, Galt
The words of this song from the late 60s were brought to mind recently when a 12 year-old boy was referred to us. His story reveals the heartlessness and cruelty of people, and the ways that some children have to suffer at their hands. We'll call this boy Roberto and his younger brother, Michael.
Roberto and Michael were brought to an orphanage in Cebu City when they were babies. The orphanage, which was connected to a Protestant church, was not a good place. When the boys were older they were abused. Punishment was severe, sometimes cruel. The lady who was in charge of the place was the one dealing out the beatings. Luckily, the place was closed down and the children were parceled out to other child caring institutions. CSC got three girls from that place, but we did not have room for boys at the time, so Roberto and his brother, then nine and 10, went to live at a home for children on a neighboring island. Shortly after there arrival there, one of the boys threatened Roberto. (The home catered to older kids, and their residents included some who had lived on the streets and were used to fighting and intimidation.) On the second night they were there, Roberto decided to run away. Michael was afraid to go out into the dark night, but Roberto was able to find a young boy, just five years old, to go with him. The gate was always left open so they had no trouble getting away.
Roberto only knew one place to go, back to the church where he had lived. He didn't know that it was 18 miles from where they were starting out. And they had to cross a long bridge that led to Cebu island. But he knew he wanted to leave that place, so off they went into the night.
It took two days and nights to get to the church. They slept along the road, wherever they could find a spot that looked safe. On the second morning Roberto woke up and discovered that his little companion was gone. Without a trace. All he could do was keep going. When he finally got to the church he found that it was closed up. The gate was locked. One of the former orphanage workers said that he could be their family's houseboy, but that didn't last for long. One day that family packed up and left, and Roberto had no place to go.
Out of desperation, he found a big piece of cardboard which became his bed for the next months. He slept just outside the locked gate of the former church/orphanage. He would look for food wherever he could find it, in garbage cans or occasional handouts from neighbors. Other times he would steal food to feed his hungry stomach, which enraged people in the community. He was often beaten by neighborhood boys. One family took pity on him and would stop the boys from beating him, and would give him food. Life was hard for Roberto. No place to live. Nobody to take him in. He missed his brother and worried about the boy who had disappeared along the way. How can people be so heartless? How can they be so cruel?
One of the compassionate neighbors knew about CSC and informed us about the situation of Roberto. We get lots of referrals and can not respond immediately to all of them. Eventually our social worker and counselor went to visit Roberto and hear his story. They were overwhelmed by the things that had happened to him. In the next few days we made contact with the place where Michael was staying and arranged a meeting with their social worker. Two of our social workers, Chris and our new Social Worker Director, Klaris, and our counselor, Eldie, made the trip to the neighboring island to discuss the boys' case. Michael was relieved to hear that Roberto was okay. He hadn't heard anything about him for a year and a half. Both boys wanted to be reunited and it was determined that this should happen the next day at CSC.
The reunion was so sweet for the boys. They were more than a little amazed at the facilities of CSC and the course of events that had brought them back together. After more counseling and some medical tests, and a talk with a representative of the place where Michael was living, our staff made the decision to admit Michael and Roberto. The boys would no longer be separated and Roberto's days of homelessness would end. It was an exciting day for all of us. They boys needed to go back to their respective places, get the few things they owned, and say goodbye before becoming official CSC kids. But first we brought them to Jollibee, a fast food restaurant near CSC. It was so much fun to watch the boys eat and laugh. It must have seemed a little surreal to them to be together at that place with a group of adults who were concerned about them and wanted them to be together in a nice and safe place. Roberto was not able to finish his chicken and we were surprised when he asked if he could have a bag for "take-home."
When they got to the place where Roberto had been staying, he ran to one of the houses near the church, the place where one of the people who had protected him from the cruel boys lived. This was the first person who had shown concern for him, maybe in his whole life. Roberto wanted to give this guy the leftover chicken from Jollibee! It was one of the most touching things that we have known about in our many years of working with kids. A few acts of kindness had made a huge difference in Roberto's life and he wanted to say "thank you" in the only way he knew how.
Later that day the boys were officially admitted, and spent the night in the infirmary while we waited for their lab results. The next morning they moved into the Cherne Home, where house parents Tarex and Pureza and the children welcomed them. It was the biggest day in their lives, so far. And there are many big days ahead. They will be making a lot of new friends and will soon be enrolled in our Children of Hope School. They won't be apart. They won't be hungry. If they are sick they will be provided with the best medical care available in the Philippines. If they are sad they'll be comforted. And they will get the chance to learn about a loving Heavenly Father and a friend and Savior who will never abandon them.
Yes, its easy to be heartless. Easy to be cruel. But its also easy to be kind. Easy to be a needed friend. Kids need a friend. Thanks to all who make it possible for us to say yes to kids like these two and the many others who need the love and care of our Shelter.
Lockdown Victories
Space is something we Filipinos don't care too much about. To name a few examples: our houses our built right next to each other; there is minimal to non-existent personal space; shoppers are literally rubbing elbows at the biggest public market in the city; and passengers are squished inside a small jeepney.
But space is something our founders thought an important factor when building a child-caring center. During this pandemic time, where children are prohibited to go out of their homes, our children are still able to "go out" of their homes. They are still able to enjoy a game of soccer and kickball in our huge playground. Our toddlers are still able to ride their scooters on our driveways. Our children are still able to run around and chase each other in a game of tag. The space we have makes the lockdown endurable for everyone.
Employing 100+ Filipino workers is an evidence of CSC's commitment to the children it serves. This means we have people who can do the job for our children. This means our children can be children again and not worry about adult responsibilities.
But this lockdown gave our children the opportunity to step up. Older children looking after the younger ones, children cooking dessert and meals for the home, children leading praise and worship nights, older children taking on their responsibilities whole-heartedly. We are proud of the small and big victories are children are achieving.
Our houseparents live on-site. We require that of them so our children will have that constant adult figure in their lives. They have various tasks and responsibilities in the homes. Just like any other parent, they too have different parenting styles. Being in lockdown gave the chance for our houseparents to talk more, share notes, and give each other encouraging words. The houseparents supporting each other leads to better parenting in our homes. Happy parents equal to happy children.
This pandemic is discouraging at times, but we choose to celebrate the small and big wins during this time.
Connection During COVID-19
In May 2019, after 40 years, we the Social Work team, were able to move our case files and office to the building inside the compound of the residential shelter, where we were able to join the rest of the multi-disciplinary team, which has always held office at the shelter. Moving the office brought us hope of improving services by being closer to the children and the rest of the multi-disciplinary team.
When COVID-19 caused CSC to call for employees to be locked-in, two of our three Social Workers (Mardy and Glaiza) were able to volunteer to stay inside. Mardy and Glaiza saw this as an opportunity to continue strengthening relationships with the children, work more closely with the multi-disciplinary team, and dig into some pending files. Cris, the remaining Social Worker, worked from home.
This pandemic posed challenges in case management. We knew it was important to keep the children involved. During the annual Summer Activity Program given to the children at CSC, we were given time to have a "Short Talk" or focused group discussion on an overview of challenges in case management. This was conducted recently at the Medical Building. It was attended by 32 children, ages 10 and above. It was facilitated by Mardy and Glaiza.
During the Short Talk, the kids were observed to be engaged, listening, and interested in the topic as they discussed how the challenges brought about by the pandemic affected their future. The children learned that physical birth family visits were not possible with government-imposed travel restrictions and health safety protocols of CSC, but that connecting with birth family as approved, was to be done through telecommunication.
It was a time to affirm that the we and multi-disciplinary team were doing our best to continue to provide for the holistic needs of the children by adapting and learning new ways to deliver services. This could be seen by Cris calling houseparents and children on the phone, counselors providing telecounseling, and therapy services adapted to be home-based until therapists could be admitted inside the shelter after quarantine. Other staff, such as the nurses and teachers, were also locked-in to ensure that the service was available to the children. The children were encouraged as the social workers shared that they (along with the multi-disciplinary team) were always looking at the individual needs of the child and advocating for their best interests.
The children understood the challenges we faced to complete some requirements due to travel restrictions or safety protocols and that this affected other professionals and offices working on their cases as well. However, the children were assured that we were proactive in lobbying for them. Social workers were in contact with government offices, including the Department of Social Welfare and Development and Inter-Country Adoption Board. We were learning new ways to submit Child Study Reports and to keep connected with other professionals and agencies involved in case management. True to being advocates, it is at the heart of the social work department to steward time and services available for the benefit of the child regardless of the circumstance.
The rising concern among the older children at risk of aging out of adoption was discussed. They expressed concern about what their future would hold and if that would be together with CSC. It was explained that CSC had prepared for this by teaching the children at the shelter life and independent living skills. The Independent Living Program was still a residential shelter but with more in-depth training on these skills to help them transition out to the community.
We can imagine the inner turmoil social workers and case workers, nationally and around the globe, have at this time being unable to physically reach their clients or offices. Our heart goes out to the children and families who have lost this connection and keep them in our prayers.
Thankfully, at CSC, we have the option to be together with the children. We have options that allow us to continue in our ministry commitment to provide children a temporary shelter and case management. Being with them has allowed us to further think out of the box and see areas we can continue to serve.
This pandemic has highlighted challenges and blessings in connection. As social workers in service to the children at CSC, the time to be with them has been an encouragement to us. We are blessed to see how the children are growing, coping, and learning during this season. We are grateful for this opportunity to be able to connect and be readily available to them.
The Biggest Concern
This week, Heather and I had a Skype meeting with two missionaries from Menomonie, WI. We had never met before, so we took the time get to know one another, talk about our respective ministries, and pray for each other. Before praying, they asked me, "what are some of your needs that we can be praying for at this time?"
It's not an uncommon question, and it certainly wasn't unexpected, but it's been rattling around in my heart ever since.
There are a lot of visible needs at the Shelter during this pandemic. There's the need for health and safety. The need for hand sanitizer and personal protective equipment. There's the need for food, clean water, school curriculum, clothing, and medicine. For those of us going around town, there's the need for documentation and preparation to ensure safe passage through checkpoints. By the grace of God, through the generosity of our supporters, all these things have been provided. The children can play games, enjoy full meals, and receive all the love, support, and care that we can muster.
Then there are those needs that aren't as visible. There's the need for strength and calm; for endurance, patience, diligence, and faithfulness. There's the need for friendships and encouragement. There's the need for prayer and time spent with the One who ultimately provides for all our needs. Thank you for praying with us. I can tell you firsthand that they are being felt as we navigate this pandemic together.
There is a need I fear may go unnoticed, forgotten, or neglected by the world at large ...
But the one need that's been rattling around in my heart is one that I fear may go unnoticed, forgotten, or neglected by the world at large. This pandemic has strained governments and the systems that we have in place to help the vulnerable; to help the widow and the orphan—to help the least of these (Matt 25:40). Since the start of this pandemic, we have not had any children placed with adoptive families, and only a handful of our children have been presented for regional, national, or international matching (that is to say, the processes that governments use to match children with prospective adoptive families, both locally and internationally, has been severely hindered due to the coronavirus pandemic). What makes this reality even more difficult to face is the fact that quite a few of our children will be aging out of adoption in the coming months; meaning, they will reach an age where adoption is no longer allowed.
This is a video of an extremely long line that formed in Guadalupe, Cebu City when the local government announced it would be disbursing aid to impoverished families during the quarantine. The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), which we work with for referrals and placements, is also tasked with handing out this aid.
We knew this day could potentially come for our older children, and we've been doing our best to prepare all our kids for whatever life has in store for them, including independent adult life in the Philippines. We will prayerfully continue to do so, hoping to launch our older children into a healthy and beautiful adulthood.
But I would like to ask all of you to please take some extra time to pray. Pray for these kids who will be aging out in the coming months. Pray that they will be able to cope emotionally, and pray that all of us at CSC are able to provide them with the love and support that they need to be launched into a beautiful future without an adoptive family.
And pray for a miracle. Some of our kids have less than a few months before aging out. Pray that domestic and international government agencies will be able to process the needed paperwork, and that the right families will be searching at just the right time. Thank you for praying with us.
Pandemic Lessons
I had breakfast with a CSC donor today. He and his wife have been very generous to CSC over the years. He had previously owned a business in the Twin Cities and he mentioned how glad he was the he didn't have to be trying to run a business during this pandemic. I think we all have things in our past that we are glad we don't have to deal with during this challenging and difficult time. Although I miss being on the Leadership teams in Cebu so much, I don't really miss some of the difficult discussions and hard decisions that need to be made almost on a daily basis. The thing that makes them hard is that they affect lives, and we don't have a grand blueprint for success in navigating this pandemic. None of us has ever seen anything like this so we have no data base of proven methods to bank on .
I am so glad that our new Field Director, Roberto Atienza, is so talented and enthusiastic to embrace the challenges of leading CSC in Cebu during this time. I'm sure he would rather be leading under different circumstances but he has stepped up and taken on the challenges with vigor and tireless effort. His term of leadership began when the pandemic was already upon the Philippines. While still learning some of the basics about the ministry, getting to know our leaders and deciding on a management style he was suddenly leading meetings about quarantines, supply chains, manpower crises, lockdowns, mobility limitations, and the financial, social work, educational, medical, HR and spiritual issues that this crisis presents to CSC. And these have been oom meetings, not face to face sessions where it is easier to share feelings and interpret ideas and reactions. I am thankful that he is not wishing he was someplace else or focusing on the negative parts of ministry in a pandemic. His faith in God is strong, contagious and encouraging to the people whose pictures are on the Zoom screen and who rely on him for direction, support and spiritual leadership.
Am I glad that I am not having to lead CSC at this time? Well, that is a complicated question. We left Cebu in part because of concerns because of our age and health issues, and we don't second guess that. I miss the interactions with our great Leadership Team, watching them rise to the occasion every single day. I miss consultations with Roberto on a wide range of issues and watching the child care workers and other lock-in staff doing an exceptional job. But I don't miss some of the pressure packed meetings that are necessary, of having to come up with fresh ideas when I don't feel like I have any more, and facing the sobering realities every day of a deadly disease lurking just outside our CSC campus that it is our job to keep out. I know that at 66 years of age I don't have the same stamina I used to have.
I am glad that God worked out a transition of leadership in Cebu and that Roberto is clearly His man for the job. Stepping aside and letting him lead was a seamless transition for me because of who he is as a man of God and a leader. I know that Stateside is where we are supposed to be, even if we miss the kids and workers so much it hurts sometimes. In that respect I'm glad to be where I am.
Please keep Roberto and the Leadership Team in your prayers during these tough days. I can say from experience that they feel your prayers, your love and encouragement and need it very much. Thanks!
Leaving
A few months ago we were planning our trip back to Minnesota to start our retirement. Because of the pandemic our flights were canceled and we were put on "enhanced community quarantine." Basically , we have had to stay inour home for the past 100 days, unable to go to the shelter or the office or the Children of Hope School to see the kids and workers. Needless to say it has been a challenging time for everyone at CSC. During our extended quarantine we have been checking to see if there are any flights out of the Philippines, preferably Cebu. We were happy to be here, helping out Roberto and the Leadership team in helping assure that our children are receiving the best care possible during the lockdown in Banawa. We have attended regular Zoom meetings, discussing manpower and financial issues, keeping our US office appraised of the situation here and dealing with logistical issues of moving people and goods around during times of strict measures that limit mobility.
Just the other day we heard of a flight to the U.S. via Korean Airlines and Delta. In order to make this flight we needed to secure a Travel Pass to get to the airport, health certificates andbarangay and immigration clearances. Jill from our US office helped a lot as did our Administrative Assistant, Vanjing and Jerry Salgo, the person who has coordinated all the security and transportation matters for CSC thr0ughout this crisis.
So we are leaving Cebu on July 4! Its Wait and Hurry Up. We are trying to organize our possessions, the accumulation of 41 years of living in Cebu, in just a few days. Some things were are selling, some we are shipping to MN and most we are giving away. But arranging all of our emotions has been more challenging. The thoughts of walking away from the ministry that has been our life for 41 years had been on the back burner for a long time as we weren't sure how the pandemic was going to play out. We had been emotionally prepared to be here in Cebu until Christmas if necessary.
So now we are scurrying to get ready to leave. So many CSC and other people are helping us. One of the nicest gifts to us was an amazing farewell party at the Shelter this morning. Although we weren't able to actually hug or be near the children or workers, we did go inside the CSC compound. We sat on the area outside the conference room of the Gleddie Building and heard the kids sing, give tributes and give us a ton of love and appreciation. It was the first time we had seen them in more than 100 days. Lots of tears were shed. It wasn't the party we had imagined months ago when we were preparing for retirement, but it was a wonderful party and we are so thankful to the Leadership Group for planning it. We were humbled. It made leaving Cebu, although still difficult, seem somehow more manageable because we were able to see and hear the kids we love so much.