Most Cebuanos my age grew up with a saying that goes “Bisan saging, basta loving.” This saying means that even when the family is eating bananas all the time, as long as they love each other, the family is okay.
The passage, Proverbs 15:17, “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred” reminds me of that old saying. It also reflects on the situations CSC’s children came from. Not the whole, but the part about bananas and hatred. The kids at CSC have come from different situations of poverty, neglect, abuse, and abandonment. Some of the kids came from loving situations that deteriorated because one parent died suddenly. The one parent left behind could not cope up with trying to earn a living while taking care of the children at the same time. Some of the kids came from broken families. Most of them were abused before being cast aside when a parent got involved in a new relationship.
Bisan saging basta loving. Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred. Some of these children did not have anything at all, no bananas, no vegetables, no fattened calf, no one to turn to, and most of all, no love, but had an abundance of hatred at times.
Kindness, understanding, patience, hope, faith, joy, grace, and most of all, love. This brings to mind that this is what CSC is all about. It is not because of the beautifully maintained houses, medical building, and school, nor the playground and other things, though all of these have helped. But, it is the people that made the shelter what it is. Feelings of warmth and welcome are created by people who are kind, generous, patient, hopeful, understanding, even-tempered, and most of all, loving. Different backgrounds, educated to the less educated, Americans and Filipinos, people who answered God’s call to pray, give generously, volunteer their time during mailings, and serve on the CSC Boards both here in Cebu and in the US. They came together to serve in a ministry that not only provided a roof over the heads of these children, but the loving-kindness and the grace of God that the children had not experienced before.
At CSC, there is no “bisan saging basta loving,” and “no better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.” CSC is a big home, a big family that God has blessed with His love and grace. Thank you Lord for the people who answered Your call to serve in this ministry.
Sweet Reward!
Being a teacher implies that when I am inside the classroom, I possess various roles. I may be a model, a facilitator, a motivator, a surrogate-parent and so on. Being a teacher at CCHS is a fulfilling job for me because I know every student has some specific learning need. I may not be able to totally fulfill all their needs, but I can help each child attain more.
Young kids always love to play and be imaginative. Recently one day in Civics class was a particularly good day of fun and learning for me and my students. Our topic on that day was studying about the various beautiful, historical, and well-known places in the Philippines.
I told the kids we were going on a trip. I started our class with, “Kids I want you to close your eyes. Pretend we are going to ride an airplane to Manila. We’ll start in Cebu and go visit the beautiful places in Luzon.” Then the kids opened their eyes and looked at the pictures of different places in Luzon. We “visited” Rizal Park, Fort Santiago, the Rice Terraces, and a lot more.
I was amazed at the interaction during the lesson. The students asked a lot of questions and were curious about each place. They wanted to know more about different places in our country, the Philippines.
And as I finished the class that day, I knew the kids had learned a lot and I felt fulfilled as their Civics teacher.
Stepping out alone...kind of
We are constantly working at CSC to do things like a regular family. It’s impossible to get that exactly right with 90-95 children, but we work hard at it.
One of the wisest decisions we’ve made is to schedule enough childcare workers so that our “aunties” have time to connect with the children in our care. All of us run the risk of moving from task to task in our jobs, and we hope to prevent that at CSC when it comes to the care of our children. Time for bonding is critically important to a child's development so there are consistent aunties around, assigned to each home, at low enough ratios that connections can develop.
The picture below portrays the kind of thing we witness each day in Cebu. A child is stepping out on his own, but he’s not alone. There nearby is a loving auntie ready to catch him if he falls. Some aunties take time to push our kids in a wheelchair, others push little ones on a swing. Sometimes they stand under a basketball hoop to rebound balls, other times they stand behind tentative little steps. We believe there are times the most important work an auntie can do is simply to play, come alongside or listen and let a child know they are worthy of time and attention. They and the House Parents are the frontline family to the children so many of us care about at CSC.
Lemonade, used clothing and the CSC kids
Families support the ministry of CSC in many ways. In recent weeks the Stoll family had a lemonade stand outside their home, with the proceeds going to CSC. These are the kids of Kirby and Shana Stoll, longtime friends of the ministry. Kirby is a CSC Board member. The kids have done this fundraising project before, and have joyfully and enthusiastically given the profits for the kids that they regularly pray for at CSC.
Just today the Bonnett family had a big garage sale for CSC. This is a family that includes seven adopted children from CSC! Having a garage sale is a lot of work, but the efforts were a labor of love for the kids in Cebu. This is a form of volunteerism that is humbling to Marlys and me, and an indication of just how deeply people feel about CSC and the work that we are doing in Cebu.
Thanks to these two families for caring deeply and working hard to help us provide quality care for the kids that come to live with us at CSC. You are the greatest!
Measure of Success
CSC had a busy week last week. Among a whole line up of other things we played host to two families who had previously adopted children from CSC and were back for a visit as well as having a family come and meet their newly adopted son for the first time!
It was fascinating for me to see these families who are in very different places on the spectrum of adoption and child-raising all gathered at CSC. I like the idea that CSC is place people can come back to and not a place people want to get away from. We’re sheltering kids during a pretty tough time in their lives and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if they wanted to forget a lot of the challenges before and even during their lives at CSC. Some probably do want to forget, but I’ve met several who are excited to come back, who have stories to share, and are very proud to be from this place.
I like being part of an organization that measures success in terms of lifelong relationships.
Skype
The kids pray every night. One thing on their list and that everyone is eager to pray for is a mom and dad, a family to call their own. Some have been waiting a short time, while others have been waiting for years. In the midst of waiting, we learn patience and reflect on God's perfect timing. The waiting continues to happen, even when kids receive the news that they have a mom and dad and a new home and sometimes brothers and sisters. They have a few more months to wait before their parents come to bring them home as paperwork still needs to be processed.
In the midst of waiting, most of the kids have an opportunity to virtually "meet" their families over Skype. This is a great blessing for the kids as they have the opportunity to become acquainted with their families and can often help ease the transition for them. The parents also benefit from this experience as they can finally meet their child(ren) who they have been waiting for for a long time.
Recently I've helped facilitate a few of these calls, and it has been amazing and joyful to be involved in these interactions. The giggles, smiles, goofy faces, and conversations that take place are absolutely priceless. It's clear the kids and the adoptive families enjoy this time. As I was reflecting on a few recent interactions over Skype, it was clear to me that God was connecting these hearts and lives from miles and miles away. I am blessed to be involved in these situations and to see, first hand, how God is continuing to work in the lives of so many people who are connected to CSC in so many different ways. As you feel prompted, please be in prayer for the children and the adoptive families who are waiting for that first moment when they physically see one another for the first time. And while you're at it, lift up a "thank you" for this little piece of technology called "Skype" that can make preparation for adoption a little bit easier!