How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard, easy to be cold
How can people have no feelings?
How can they ignore their friends?
Easy to be proud, easy to say no.
Songwriters: Ragni, Gerome / Rado, James / Mac Dermot, Galt
The words of this song from the late 60s were brought to mind recently when a 12 year-old boy was referred to us. His story reveals the heartlessness and cruelty of people, and the ways that some children have to suffer at their hands. We'll call this boy Roberto and his younger brother, Michael.
Roberto and Michael were brought to an orphanage in Cebu City when they were babies. The orphanage, which was connected to a Protestant church, was not a good place. When the boys were older they were abused. Punishment was severe, sometimes cruel. The lady who was in charge of the place was the one dealing out the beatings. Luckily, the place was closed down and the children were parceled out to other child caring institutions. CSC got three girls from that place, but we did not have room for boys at the time, so Roberto and his brother, then nine and 10, went to live at a home for children on a neighboring island. Shortly after there arrival there, one of the boys threatened Roberto. (The home catered to older kids, and their residents included some who had lived on the streets and were used to fighting and intimidation.) On the second night they were there, Roberto decided to run away. Michael was afraid to go out into the dark night, but Roberto was able to find a young boy, just five years old, to go with him. The gate was always left open so they had no trouble getting away.
Roberto only knew one place to go, back to the church where he had lived. He didn't know that it was 18 miles from where they were starting out. And they had to cross a long bridge that led to Cebu island. But he knew he wanted to leave that place, so off they went into the night.
It took two days and nights to get to the church. They slept along the road, wherever they could find a spot that looked safe. On the second morning Roberto woke up and discovered that his little companion was gone. Without a trace. All he could do was keep going. When he finally got to the church he found that it was closed up. The gate was locked. One of the former orphanage workers said that he could be their family's houseboy, but that didn't last for long. One day that family packed up and left, and Roberto had no place to go.
Out of desperation, he found a big piece of cardboard which became his bed for the next months. He slept just outside the locked gate of the former church/orphanage. He would look for food wherever he could find it, in garbage cans or occasional handouts from neighbors. Other times he would steal food to feed his hungry stomach, which enraged people in the community. He was often beaten by neighborhood boys. One family took pity on him and would stop the boys from beating him, and would give him food. Life was hard for Roberto. No place to live. Nobody to take him in. He missed his brother and worried about the boy who had disappeared along the way. How can people be so heartless? How can they be so cruel?
One of the compassionate neighbors knew about CSC and informed us about the situation of Roberto. We get lots of referrals and can not respond immediately to all of them. Eventually our social worker and counselor went to visit Roberto and hear his story. They were overwhelmed by the things that had happened to him. In the next few days we made contact with the place where Michael was staying and arranged a meeting with their social worker. Two of our social workers, Chris and our new Social Worker Director, Klaris, and our counselor, Eldie, made the trip to the neighboring island to discuss the boys' case. Michael was relieved to hear that Roberto was okay. He hadn't heard anything about him for a year and a half. Both boys wanted to be reunited and it was determined that this should happen the next day at CSC.
The reunion was so sweet for the boys. They were more than a little amazed at the facilities of CSC and the course of events that had brought them back together. After more counseling and some medical tests, and a talk with a representative of the place where Michael was living, our staff made the decision to admit Michael and Roberto. The boys would no longer be separated and Roberto's days of homelessness would end. It was an exciting day for all of us. They boys needed to go back to their respective places, get the few things they owned, and say goodbye before becoming official CSC kids. But first we brought them to Jollibee, a fast food restaurant near CSC. It was so much fun to watch the boys eat and laugh. It must have seemed a little surreal to them to be together at that place with a group of adults who were concerned about them and wanted them to be together in a nice and safe place. Roberto was not able to finish his chicken and we were surprised when he asked if he could have a bag for "take-home."
When they got to the place where Roberto had been staying, he ran to one of the houses near the church, the place where one of the people who had protected him from the cruel boys lived. This was the first person who had shown concern for him, maybe in his whole life. Roberto wanted to give this guy the leftover chicken from Jollibee! It was one of the most touching things that we have known about in our many years of working with kids. A few acts of kindness had made a huge difference in Roberto's life and he wanted to say "thank you" in the only way he knew how.
Later that day the boys were officially admitted, and spent the night in the infirmary while we waited for their lab results. The next morning they moved into the Cherne Home, where house parents Tarex and Pureza and the children welcomed them. It was the biggest day in their lives, so far. And there are many big days ahead. They will be making a lot of new friends and will soon be enrolled in our Children of Hope School. They won't be apart. They won't be hungry. If they are sick they will be provided with the best medical care available in the Philippines. If they are sad they'll be comforted. And they will get the chance to learn about a loving Heavenly Father and a friend and Savior who will never abandon them.
Yes, its easy to be heartless. Easy to be cruel. But its also easy to be kind. Easy to be a needed friend. Kids need a friend. Thanks to all who make it possible for us to say yes to kids like these two and the many others who need the love and care of our Shelter.
A Change of Scenery
Prior to Covid, one of the things that children at CSC looked forward to was an appointment off campus. Older kids loved going to the dentist and getting an ice cream treat after. Younger kids were excited just riding in vehicles and seeing all the cars and motorcycles. These have not been an option since the shelter has been on lockdown. Medical consultations have been completed online, lab tests are done in the infirmary, and even eye check-ups are done at the shelter now.
There were a few exceptions, including for this five-year-old boy, who left campus recently for a hearing test. On the way, he looked through the window of the vehicle with a sparkle in his eye! It was as if everything was new to him. He pointed and described every truck and car, as well as the people and animals on the road.
This boy was so sickly prior to the pandemic, and he spent a lot of time at clinics to see a pediatrician or pulmonologist. And there he was now, just going for a routine hearing test. The CSC lockdown has somehow kept him healthy, away from all the dust that caused his frequent asthma attacks. But it has also limited his exposure to the environment outside the CSC walls. Through it all, he was one happy kid, having to spend a few hours outdoors.
Beauty and Madness
They said that time heals. True. However, time alone could not do all the stitches. Most of the children here in CSC have a myriad of wounds to heal from their past. A wound on their knees would only take a week to heal but a wound made when no one helped them to get up would take years, a hundred of CSC outings, and relationships. Some have spent most of their childhood here. And that's a lot of time yet most of them are still haunted by the ghosts of their past— the phantom of neglect, rejection, abandonment, and the monstrous impact of separation from their significant others. Time is not enough.
I've been working with these children for three years and I've witnessed how these ghosts have influenced their behaviors and perspective of their own selves and their lives. Despite these, I've also observed how the love and care provided by the houseparents, aunties (caregivers), and other staff in CSC have greatly lessened the grip of these ghosts in their lives. Because of this, children have retaken the cape of their childhood. Trust has sprouted again and has blossomed into friendship and family. It is truly magical to witness how a child trusts an adult again. A positive and healthy relationship is, for me, the greatest healing the child could have. In counseling, we highly value relationships as this always precedes any counseling techniques. Although it has always been a challenge gaining the children's trust, art has paved the way for us, counselors, to see and hear their stories. It has been a great tool for us to deal with resistant children in counseling. Art allows the child to express himself/herself in ways he/she is most comfortable to. It allows the child to "reflect their inner worlds, depicting various feelings" (Malchiodi, 1998). Art helps the children share their stories to us in a non-threatening way. It allows the child to have full control of their creation. Painting, drawing, music, and photography are the usual art modalities chosen by the boys.
The pictures above are just some of the ways to utilize art in helping children become aware of the ghosts of their past. Some, especially the older ones, have slowly faced their past in a more positive and hopeful way. I am hoping that the time they spend here in CSC would help them see the collateral beauty in pain.
They said that time heals. True. It is true but time is not enough to do all the stitches. Instead, time allows our crushed spirit to get up; to acknowledge pain and becomes familiar to it; to understand that our pain has an ending; to have relationships blossom; to ignite a new dream; to see that all along God has been stirring the wheel. And time helps the children to better understand that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28, NKJV).
Love in Any Language
Most of us, if not all, have been taught by our parents or guardians to say "I Love You." Though we might not know what that means at a very young age, as it's hard to fathom what love is when you're three years old. But over time, with experience, we understand what it means.
Our homes at CSC are not only a place of refuge for the children we serve but also a place of love.
Most of our caregivers have been working with us for more than a decade. And in that time, some of them have formed a special bond with the children they care for. Likewise, our children have found a safe place with their caregivers. They have learned what it feels to be valued and loved.
One particular 6-year-old boy recently knew that his Auntie (his caregiver) lost her husband years ago. That meant his Auntie no longer had her loved one with her. And because he loved his Auntie, he offered to be her husband. For sure the little boy is unaware of what it meant. But for him, it was an innocent and genuine act of love. The scenario was cute and funny, but it tugged the hearts of our caregivers.
The children at CSC come with different stories and different abilities but we love them all the same. And that speaks heavily to the children as they also see sameness and no difference in one another.
A new child joining the CSC family is welcomed with so much love. The same way a child is hugged with so much love by his friends before he leaves and joins his forever family. Love remains even after a child leaves the shelter. It remains no matter how near or far the distance is. Love continues in the heart of a resident as he spreads his wings into the community and in the heart of a child as he starts forever with a family. Still love continues in the hearts of parents who welcomed a new member of the family.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 NIV "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
CCHS Update
We're back!
CCHS is back on track. After the "storms" that made us clasp our hands and bend our knees in prayers, the Lord has been gracious and faithful to His children.
Our water pump was replaced with a new one so we can have flowing water in all of our faucets. Thanks to Uncle Jerry and his men who made this possible.
Our supplier of drinking water also delivered in the afternoon. This same day we quarantined twenty-three workers at CCHS.
Our power from the grid was reconnected. We had been using our generator in the evenings for lights, fans, and charging our laptops and cellphones.
And soon, our internet will be restored. We are finally back to teaching children at the shelter. We praise the Lord for preserving our lives and sustaining us through the "storms".
With this journey we are grateful for those who prayed for us and to those who supported us in many ways. You made a lot of things possible on this side of the globe. You have allowed us to make a difference in the lives of the children in the shelter.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (English Standard Version)
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Praise the Lord!
Typhoon Clean-Up
The first thing that we repaired after the typhoon was power lines so we could use generators. Then we worked to fix the broken main pipe that supplied water to both Cherne home and Eicher home, including the wash house. Next was the power lines that will receive VECO power. The clearing was not so hard because we were able to use a small chainsaw for the smaller branches and trunks. But for the big ones like the one that falls to Cherne home we need to hire someone with a big chainsaw and knows how to do it so as not to add additional damage to the building. One of the challenges is, it's hard to find one because they are occupied in their neighborhood itself. With scarcity of materials, prices become more expensive. Another challenge was communication. It was very hard to contact people to get materials with no internet and electricity without the generators. Drinking water was another problem but we are thankful to God CSC has its own deep well and gensets.
We will continue to repair the shelter and support our friends and family through this time. All glory and honor to God because he is the source of all those strength, wisdom, resources and dedicated supporters to continue the work of the CSC ministry.