It is no secret that there was an earthquake in the Philippines on Tuesday. There has been a lot of information shared over facebook, some of it an hour by hour update on our experience. Many people have spoken about the fear, the pain and the sadness they, or others they know, experienced.
I did not comment much about it then, but would like to say more now.
It is a very unnerving feeling to have every surface you are touching rumble and move beneath and around you. There is nothing to grab onto, there is nothing that can steady you. Also, the power shut off at the exact time the quaking began, so there is that shock to the senses. And then there is the noise. There is the rumble of the movement of the earth, some have described it like if a construction site were right outside your home. Then there is the noise of your fragile possessions crashing to the ground and breaking or the stones of your house falling from above. Scary. And it seems to go on for so long. Maybe because from the moment the shaking starts to when it stops you are unceasingly praying for it to end. And then after the shaking stops, you begin to hear the shouts and cries of the people and the dogs. In my neighborhood, the dogs had much to say.
You are really shaky yourself and you feel kind of weak, it takes a while to get your bearings. I had heard from Sandy---she, Marlys and Jenny were okay. I tried to reach Mitch, but there was no answer. I then went outside to check on some of my neighbors---everyone in my compound was safe, Shari and Marcel too, which was wonderful!
I returned home to some disarray and with the strong desire to get up to the shelter. My television had fallen from its stand and laid in pieces, a vase had met a similar demise. I left them as is, moved any other breakable items to a safer place and headed out, unsure what state I would find things in as I drove.
People were everywhere in the streets, there was an accident at the base of the road the shelter is on, so people and vehicles filled the space. I actually saw one of our house fathers there on his motorcycle. He couldn't hear my shouting over the din of everything else. I found out later that his wife, one of our house mothers, was out shopping with some of our older girls when the earthquake happened and he was going to locate them. Terrifying.
I made it up the road easily and quickly. The construction site next to our land even seemed to have made it through the quake alright. I honked once outside our gate, the door opened and I pulled into safety. I immediately saw Mitch's van and saw him walking around---all of us were safe and accounted for.
I was anxious to see how all of the kids were doing, so my heart was racing, but there was also just an overwhelming peace. I could see the kids outside on the grounds, gathered together, many of them crying. They ran and hugged me tightly. I didn't have enough body to go around. I moved around through the groups, checking them, checking for injuries, checking for tears, checking that they were okay. All of our house parents were also safe and accounted for. The house mother and the three girls who had been shopping during the quake had made it back safely---the girls were crying and one of them had lost her slippers in the panic---but they were back!
I stood in the middle of the yard and looked around and the buildings, the windows, the plants, the ground---everything looked as it had the day before---seemingly untouched by the 7.2 magnitude quake that had struck 20 minutes earlier. Praise the Lord!
I have said this many times in my 2+ years at CSC, but since I first stepped foot inside the gate I have felt God's hand on this land, on this ministry, on these kids, on these workers, on us. He always provides, He always protects, He always sustains.
The aftershocks continued the rest of the day, some feeling almost as strong as the earthquake, though they lasted less time. We kept the kids outside for the morning until everything could be checked, but they napped inside in the afternoon. For quite some time that day, every time an aftershock was felt the kids would run to the middle of the playground.
We had no power, so the generator ran all day, a noisy machine, but something we were grateful for. We lost water for a period of time in the afternoon as the continuous running of the generator overwhelmed the water pump. But that problem was solved quickly once it was understood. The nurseries were moved to the living rooms in the homes and all of the children slept downstairs for that night. The aftershocks continued through the night, the next day and the next and I am pretty sure I have felt some yet this morning.
While it remains a bit unnerving and you feel somewhat on edge---yesterday when I heard a loud rumbling noise, I looked for the nearest sturdy object to dive under should the shaking start, and it was really just a low-flying plane---there is no need to fear. God is good, ALL THE TIME! All the time, GOD IS GOOD!
A Change of Scenery
Prior to Covid, one of the things that children at CSC looked forward to was an appointment off campus. Older kids loved going to the dentist and getting an ice cream treat after. Younger kids were excited just riding in vehicles and seeing all the cars and motorcycles. These have not been an option since the shelter has been on lockdown. Medical consultations have been completed online, lab tests are done in the infirmary, and even eye check-ups are done at the shelter now.
There were a few exceptions, including for this five-year-old boy, who left campus recently for a hearing test. On the way, he looked through the window of the vehicle with a sparkle in his eye! It was as if everything was new to him. He pointed and described every truck and car, as well as the people and animals on the road.
This boy was so sickly prior to the pandemic, and he spent a lot of time at clinics to see a pediatrician or pulmonologist. And there he was now, just going for a routine hearing test. The CSC lockdown has somehow kept him healthy, away from all the dust that caused his frequent asthma attacks. But it has also limited his exposure to the environment outside the CSC walls. Through it all, he was one happy kid, having to spend a few hours outdoors.
Beauty and Madness
They said that time heals. True. However, time alone could not do all the stitches. Most of the children here in CSC have a myriad of wounds to heal from their past. A wound on their knees would only take a week to heal but a wound made when no one helped them to get up would take years, a hundred of CSC outings, and relationships. Some have spent most of their childhood here. And that's a lot of time yet most of them are still haunted by the ghosts of their past— the phantom of neglect, rejection, abandonment, and the monstrous impact of separation from their significant others. Time is not enough.
I've been working with these children for three years and I've witnessed how these ghosts have influenced their behaviors and perspective of their own selves and their lives. Despite these, I've also observed how the love and care provided by the houseparents, aunties (caregivers), and other staff in CSC have greatly lessened the grip of these ghosts in their lives. Because of this, children have retaken the cape of their childhood. Trust has sprouted again and has blossomed into friendship and family. It is truly magical to witness how a child trusts an adult again. A positive and healthy relationship is, for me, the greatest healing the child could have. In counseling, we highly value relationships as this always precedes any counseling techniques. Although it has always been a challenge gaining the children's trust, art has paved the way for us, counselors, to see and hear their stories. It has been a great tool for us to deal with resistant children in counseling. Art allows the child to express himself/herself in ways he/she is most comfortable to. It allows the child to "reflect their inner worlds, depicting various feelings" (Malchiodi, 1998). Art helps the children share their stories to us in a non-threatening way. It allows the child to have full control of their creation. Painting, drawing, music, and photography are the usual art modalities chosen by the boys.
The pictures above are just some of the ways to utilize art in helping children become aware of the ghosts of their past. Some, especially the older ones, have slowly faced their past in a more positive and hopeful way. I am hoping that the time they spend here in CSC would help them see the collateral beauty in pain.
They said that time heals. True. It is true but time is not enough to do all the stitches. Instead, time allows our crushed spirit to get up; to acknowledge pain and becomes familiar to it; to understand that our pain has an ending; to have relationships blossom; to ignite a new dream; to see that all along God has been stirring the wheel. And time helps the children to better understand that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28, NKJV).
Love in Any Language
Most of us, if not all, have been taught by our parents or guardians to say "I Love You." Though we might not know what that means at a very young age, as it's hard to fathom what love is when you're three years old. But over time, with experience, we understand what it means.
Our homes at CSC are not only a place of refuge for the children we serve but also a place of love.
Most of our caregivers have been working with us for more than a decade. And in that time, some of them have formed a special bond with the children they care for. Likewise, our children have found a safe place with their caregivers. They have learned what it feels to be valued and loved.
One particular 6-year-old boy recently knew that his Auntie (his caregiver) lost her husband years ago. That meant his Auntie no longer had her loved one with her. And because he loved his Auntie, he offered to be her husband. For sure the little boy is unaware of what it meant. But for him, it was an innocent and genuine act of love. The scenario was cute and funny, but it tugged the hearts of our caregivers.
The children at CSC come with different stories and different abilities but we love them all the same. And that speaks heavily to the children as they also see sameness and no difference in one another.
A new child joining the CSC family is welcomed with so much love. The same way a child is hugged with so much love by his friends before he leaves and joins his forever family. Love remains even after a child leaves the shelter. It remains no matter how near or far the distance is. Love continues in the heart of a resident as he spreads his wings into the community and in the heart of a child as he starts forever with a family. Still love continues in the hearts of parents who welcomed a new member of the family.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 NIV "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
CCHS Update
We're back!
CCHS is back on track. After the "storms" that made us clasp our hands and bend our knees in prayers, the Lord has been gracious and faithful to His children.
Our water pump was replaced with a new one so we can have flowing water in all of our faucets. Thanks to Uncle Jerry and his men who made this possible.
Our supplier of drinking water also delivered in the afternoon. This same day we quarantined twenty-three workers at CCHS.
Our power from the grid was reconnected. We had been using our generator in the evenings for lights, fans, and charging our laptops and cellphones.
And soon, our internet will be restored. We are finally back to teaching children at the shelter. We praise the Lord for preserving our lives and sustaining us through the "storms".
With this journey we are grateful for those who prayed for us and to those who supported us in many ways. You made a lot of things possible on this side of the globe. You have allowed us to make a difference in the lives of the children in the shelter.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (English Standard Version)
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Praise the Lord!
Typhoon Clean-Up
The first thing that we repaired after the typhoon was power lines so we could use generators. Then we worked to fix the broken main pipe that supplied water to both Cherne home and Eicher home, including the wash house. Next was the power lines that will receive VECO power. The clearing was not so hard because we were able to use a small chainsaw for the smaller branches and trunks. But for the big ones like the one that falls to Cherne home we need to hire someone with a big chainsaw and knows how to do it so as not to add additional damage to the building. One of the challenges is, it's hard to find one because they are occupied in their neighborhood itself. With scarcity of materials, prices become more expensive. Another challenge was communication. It was very hard to contact people to get materials with no internet and electricity without the generators. Drinking water was another problem but we are thankful to God CSC has its own deep well and gensets.
We will continue to repair the shelter and support our friends and family through this time. All glory and honor to God because he is the source of all those strength, wisdom, resources and dedicated supporters to continue the work of the CSC ministry.