Children are explorers. Curiosity often leads them to peek inside the doorknob's key hole; enthralls them to touch a squealing kettle; and ferry their feet into places where they are not allowed to be. Often, boundaries are broken.
Children are expressive. Emotions often steer their ship as they navigate their social world. They jump, giggle, grin, and laugh when happy. A frown, a downturned face, and a shoulder-drop paint their sadness. Talking back, kicking the wall, shutting down, spitting, throwing things, and crying are the easiest cards to pull out when they are angry. Often, adults' patience is challenged.
Children, most of the time, do not listen, nor take heed of instructions and reminders; they have a loose grip of morality that even memory verses fall short of reminding them to be good. But this does not mean we stop teaching them to be kind. This is to remind us that children are fallible and that they do not have the skill sets to fully self-manage; even adults have difficulty regulating themselves, too. And children who misbehave a lot are often painted with a different color palette, viewed as a problematic child.
At CSC, children do not only go through these developmental obstacles. They are also bringing with them their adverse experiences. For some children, this baggage magnifies their difficulty to self-regulate. Without a proper lens, dealing with these children might be quite challenging. As adults, the common response is to control these behaviors but with the aid of Trauma Informed Care, houseparents, caregivers, and other staff have a better understanding of the underlying factors of such behaviors. Rather than seeking control, comfort is offered. Rather than spending time preaching the rules and whatnots, cultivating a relationship is the focus. Rather than seeing the child as problematic, the child is seen as a work in progress, still growing to reach his/her full potential, and to give the child a chance to lead a more meaningful life. Through Trauma Informed Care, we are always reminded with how Khalil Gibran viewed how children should be guided. In his poem, he said:
"...You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Khalil Gibran, excerpt from On Children
Graduation Miracles
I was rummaging through old files the other day and came across a file titled "CSC Kids' Work." Inside I found a set of poems written by four CSC "kids" from the school year 2006-2007. The four guys had each written a poem using the same format of a poem they had read in their reading material. The title of their poems was the same, If You're Not From CSC..., but the content was original for each of the guys. At the time the poems were written, the boys were actually young teenagers. Since that time, three of the guys have been adopted and they have graduated from high school. Julieto was one of the poem writers and the last of them to graduate from high school just last Friday in Cebu. Jules, as he is affectionately called, has gotten other press time recently, but after coming across those poems, I could not pass up the opportunity to share his education story with you. His story illustrates the miracle that takes place when some of the CSC kids graduate from high school.
Julieto came to CSC when he was 10 years old. He had never been to school, so he started off at the beginning of the learning continuum with letter recognition. He attended Children of Hope School through the 2006-2007 school year and he was in fifth grade by that time. He was also in his mid-teens and a bit tired of being in elementary school as a teenager. He felt he needed to move on. We cautioned him about not finishing elementary education, but he wanted to try something else. So with help from some people at CSC, Jules got a job on the construction crew building the new Duterte home. He loved the job and worked for a year and a half on the project. By that time, Julieto had thought long and hard about his future and he decided he wanted to go to high school. Well, he needed to finish elementary school first, so he returned to our school as an older teenager! That in itself took a lot of courage. After his final year at CCHS, Julieto started high school. Four years later, he is a new high school graduate with plans for his future!
What an incredible journey it has been. Lots of people have been in on Jules' journey, encouraging, tutoring, advocating for him, but he is the one who has stuck with it. Pretty miraculous! Congratulations to Julieto and the other current and former CSC "kids" who are graduating from high schol this year.
If you're Not from CSC...
By Julieto Sido
If you're not from CSC
You don't know Christmas
You just can't know Christmas.
Christmas is the best time for me.
I can dance, sing, and be happy as can be
With lots of gifts from foster friends and Santa Claus
And many parties in the house.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know Christmas.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know discipline
You just can't know discipline.
In CSC we have rules to obey.
They are made to help us grow OKEY.
If we don't obey the staff will get sad
Because they don't want us to be bad.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know discipline.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know sports
You just can't know sports.
Sports is our way to have fun
We jump, we throw, and run.
Basketball, baseball, and soccer.
We play with one another.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know sports.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know kindness.
You just can't know kindness.
Kindness for me is to share and care.
That's what we do here.
Children share with each other
And the staff and house parents care for one another.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know kindness.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know ME.
You just can't know ME.
You have not experienced what I had
The fun, the laughter, the good, and the bad.
The kindness, the love, and the discipline I had here
Will stay with me even when I go somewhere.
If you're not from CSC
You don't know ME.
Precious moments...
The other day I hung around the playground in the late afternoon. That is our playground's most hectic and entertaining time! It was such a pleasure to watch the kids in play. Tumbling from our monkey bars, swinging as high as they can, whizzing by on the scooters, flying kites, kicking balls and playing tag.
While I watched, I caught many precious moments with my camera. Thankfully, a camera's memory cannot be faulty---it caught every smile, every flip---and in greater detail than my memory ever could.
So, here they are---these precious moments!
Let it snow!
I just happened to be walking down the driveway of our compound earlier this week when I noticed small white bits floating through the air in front of me and they were blowing by my feet as well. I, being a born and bred Minnesotan, first thought of snow (just for a split second, mind you). I know this Winter has been hard for most and I feel for all of you who have struggled through the bitter cold and the seemingly endless snow. I pray that Spring makes a glorious reveal in the NEAR future and that Summer and Fall are so wonderful that someday soon this past Winter is nothing but a faint memory.
But back to the white things---they, of course, were not snow! It is the Philippines after all. :) After looking at the white things and hearing many giggles to my left, I decided to examine what that giggling group of small boys were doing. They were making snow! They had bits of styrofoam that they were rubbing against the bark of a tree and it was flying around like snow.
And they were SO happy about it---giddy even! I couldn't help but smile. If you ask any of our kids here---hands down the thing they are most interested in experiencing is SNOW!!! It is a puzzling thing to them. They can't understand frozen water and just how cold a place can be to have piles of it just lying around and not melting. Within minutes of a drink sitting out here, the ice is gone and the liquid is already starting to warm. And a cold day here is 75 and cloudy (long sleeves are needed). And that is all they have ever known.
I continued on my way, but I couldn't help but hum, "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!" :)
God bless you all and stay warm!
That Thomas Itch
I have great news from our founder and Medical Director, Marlys Healy. Little Thomas, who had major surgery on his skull in early February, got the last of his stiches removed! This means no more bandages, too. Whew!
We have watched this boy endure so much since he arrived at CSC. He has found a soft spot in many hearts. I'll never forget watching him leave pre-op on the day of the surgery and trying not to wonder if he would make it. As we tried to work in Cebu that day there were many pauses when one of us would say, "I hope he's doing okay."
The love for Thomas didn't stop in Cebu. It was amazing to hear word of people praying all over the world for him. You will be glad to know Thomas can finally itch his head. Marlys said he looked ecstatic to finally be able to do so! They have him in mittens to make sure he doesn't get overzealous or pull at his nose shunts, but Thomas is doing well. Look at that cute hairdo his bandages were covering. What a guy, our Thomas. Thanks for loving him with us.
Danneil faces surgery
Danneil is one year and eight months old, and has been sick for much of his life. He has a problem called vesicoureteral reflux, which is an abnormal flow of urine from the bladder to the upper urinary tract. In VUR, urine may flow back—reflux—into one or both ureters and, in some cases, to one or both kidneys. VUR that affects only one ureter and kidney is called unilateral reflux, and VUR that affects both ureters and kidneys is called bilateral reflux. Danneil's VUR is unilateral. Danneil has been sick much of the time since he came to CSC on 8-16-12, so it has been difficult to pursue having surgery that he needs to correct this problem. He was discharged from the hospital on 3-18-14 where he was confined for a week for diarrhea and fever. The other day we spoke to the urologist and he ordered another test called a VCUG. It is a technique for watching a person's urethra and urinary bladder while the person urinates (voids). The technique consists of catheterizing the person in order to fill the bladder with a radiocontrast agent. The results showed that he does need the surgery as soon as possible. We are scrambling to get this done before he gets sick again. Usually he has pneumonia, but he also has occasional urinary tract infections. The surgery is tentatively planned for Thursday morning, March 27. Please pray for our little guy as he faces this surgery, and for Marlys and our medical team as they work with the doctor and make the arrangements for his aftercare.